Birthday and some reflection.

2nd September 2009 was my 25th birthday. I was a year older, and I don’t think I am a year wiser, for what it’s worth, despite what my best friend Pauline says. I have yet to learn about the constantly changing and challenging world and make my way through all of the nonsense that’s going on in my life at the moment.

Some of you might want to know what I did for my birthday. After all, you only celebrate your birthday once a year. I think normal people would have a birthday bash on their birthday. However, Cleffairy never seems to be a normal person ever since she was a child. I am more than certain some of yours truly’s high school friends can vouch for it.

Well, besides from having celebrated my birthday 2 days earlier with my in laws ( My FIL bought me a birthday cake and celebrated with me- something I really appreciate and would remember for the rest of my life), I did nothing special on my birthday.

So many things went on two days before my birthday, and when 2nd Sept arrived, I was dead tired.  Apart from going online in a cyber cafe before the clock strike 12 and chatted with some of my fellow friends whom I grew fond of over the years, all I did was lay in bed for the whole bloody day and try to get some rest.

I wish I could say I had a hell of sex or did something exciting  the day before that, but sadly, that’s not why I was so tired and had to rest on my birthday. Far from it, and I am not sure if I want to be reminded on how I spent the day I turn 25. It’s simply a waste of a good fine day.

Unproductive, unimaginative, boring, lame, disappointing, frustrating, you name it! All because of what? All because I WAS DAMN TIRED AND HAD NOT ENOUGH REST FOR THE PAST FEW DAYS BEFORE MY BIRTHDAY!

Bloody hell! Why the hell I was tired? Well, there’s no point writing here, because it won’t change a thing. I cannot turn back time. Even if I could, I still don’t think I have the power to do anything about it either.

I am sure all of you are bored with my bitching by now…so I’ll stop bitching and spare the innocence of your eyes.  I did some reflection on my birthday…evaluate what I have in my life and what I have achieved so far. I did not like it. I don’t think I have achieved anything over the years, and screw people who says it is all right. It is not all right for me. I think I did everything the wrong way all these while.

But, I must have done something right all these while to deserve friends whom I have never met before, showering me with birthday wishes. I get no presents from them (or from anyone in my shitty life for that matter), but it’s the thoughts that counts. Remembering me, consoling me, appreciating me. Most of them are online friends. Gamers. Bloggers. Readers.

And I must have done something really good in my past life to deserve a friend (Pauline) who is more like a sister to me than just a friend-whom I can count on not to forget my birthday until the day that I’m buried six-feet underground. She’s probably the only person in my life apart from my father, my mother and my sister who will not forget my birthday.

Despite of an uneventful 25th birthday, it is a consolation to know that some people out there appreciate that I exists and genuinely care for me. This entry is for you…all of you who makes me feel appreciated when I don’t feel appreciated and being taken for granted. Thank you so… so much. To those who sms-ed me, call me, email me…thank you so much. You brought smile to my face, and honestly, it is not really that easy for me to laugh or smile anymore. You gave me happiness more than other people in my life could at the moment… and know this, my precious friends, all of you meant a lot to me.

Cleffairy: I did not get any presents for my birthday. It’s been quite some time since I received any birthday presents. But I suppose, having friends who appreciate me for who I am is a gift that can never be replaced by other.

21 comments

  1. claire says:

    Hi Cleffairy.. though a bit late, i will still wish u a belated Happy Birthday and wish that u will have your happiness and peace from now on….

  2. eugene says:

    i dont fancy wishing a belated happy birhtday, but will keep in mind 2nd, septemeber,,, next year i will give you hug and kisses ,ya,?

    take care now,,,,,

  3. Zara says:

    I did have quite good birthday this year. It’s okay dear, still have more to go. I just hope u dont mind I sent u SMS at 12 midnight that day!

    ^__^

  4. jen says:

    happy belated birthday *muackssSss*

    you’re not alone. i don’t get birthday presents too. not even a cake. the worst, i celebrate alone :<

  5. Cheeyee says:

    Hey you are not alone. I don’t get birthday present too! Not from my husband. If I want, I have to ask for it! Lol Sounds sad hor?

    p/s: Next year, jom we go eat ice cream fondue on your birthday on my treat. 😀

  6. dolly says:

    Happy belated birthday.. =)
    Hahaha.. I don’t think I am any normal kid also.
    Birthday in my family is just a normal day with wishing from family members only, no present, no party. We did not celebrate our birthday because our birthday is actually the day of our mother suffering the most.
    Just my thought
    Have a nice day ahead…

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