As of late, yours truly has discovered that her money has been all but burn. Why? Because she discovered that most of her favourite romance paperback books such as Harlequin, Mills& Boon, Silhouette as well as other expensive and worth reading books can be downloaded on the Internet. What’s worst, it can be downloaded for free if effort are made to find out where the e-books are hosted. I guess just about anything can be found online these days. Internet, freebies galore! I’m such a slowpoke not to discover that earlier. My knowledge in freebies only revolves around movies, not free e-books.
Well, enough of my remorse for my money being down the drain. Let’s talk about something else. Let’s talk about something in, and something kinky. Something kids and youngsters these days would gladly talk about, and sometimes, would shamelessly boasts about it. Let’s talk about relationship or to be more accurate, cyber relationship.
Internet has made communication between one person and another very convenient and cheap, and one would only need a PC or a laptop, a stable Internet connection, and a chat client to communicate with one another live. Communication made easy, and so does relationship. Cyber relationship is not something that’s unheard off these days. It’s actually a very common thing. People are brought together by various online medium- friendster, facebook, myspace, blogs, forums, you name it. It’s actually a good thing. It brings people closer together. Couples or families who are miles apart or living in different continent and time zone could communicate with each other easily with the existence of the Internet.
Being able to establish communication with various people around the world is a great thing.However, is it actually a good thing when virtual sex is involve? Ahem, for those who are not so familiar with what cyber sex is really about, allow me to elaborate on it a little. Cyber sex or virtual sex encounter in which two or more persons connected remotely through a computer network send one another sexually explicit messages describing a sexual experience. It is actually a form of role-playing in which the participants pretend they are having actual sexual relations. This fantasy sexual relation is accomplished by sending one another explicit message to stimulate one another.
Serious form of cybersex usually includes real life masturbation. The quality of a certain cyber sex session totally depends on how creative or imaginative the participants are with words. Cybersex can occur either within the context of existing or intimate relationships among lovers and couples who are geographically separated, or among individuals who have not even a clue on who they are having cybersex with and remains anonymous to one another. For most, cybersex is one time relationship, something that I would classified as a one night stand in real life. Cybersex, sometimes is enhance by IP phone or webcams where the participants gets rather aroused by either their vocal conversation or their actions.
Usually, the participants of cyber sex would try to make the experience as real as possible. The participants takes turn to write explicit message to one another, but that is not all, sometimes(but I think it’s most of the time), cybersex chatters/participants usually are involved in role-playing cyber sex, where sometimes the participants create plots or situation for their cybersex session. Plots like rape, gangbang and bondage are common favourites plots among cyber sex chatters. People who are ‘cybering’ would pretend that they are involve in such action to achieve sexual satisfaction. And at the same time, most would masturbate as they engaged in such sexual conversation.
Cybersex, to me is quite a funny thing, as most do not know the identity of the person that they are having ‘sex’ with on the other side of the line. Yes, you can convince yourself that you’re cybering with a sexgod but it turn out that the person that you’re talking to can turn out to be some weird transvestite who is lusting for some sexual release through such conversation.
I’ll try to be fair here. I will not say that cybersex is all bad, as there are advantages in such activities. Well, while our government and holier than thou society would have us believe that cybersex is a form of evil, I believe that it can actually benefit teenagers who are, well, teenagers are sometimes hormones driven, and in their quiets to quench curiosity, cyber sex could actually help them to experiment with their sexual thoughts and emotions without having the risk of getting STD/AIDS or getting pregnant in the process.
People with HIV/AIDS can also benefit from cybersex, as they will not be putting their partner at risk as cybesex do not actually involve any physical contact among the participants. Cybersex too, would reduce the possibilities of infidelity among couples who are geographically separated as it allow couples to be sexually intimate in some ways.
Cybersex participants can also act out fantasies which they would not and could not act out in real life through role playing due to physical or social restriction and potential for misunderstanding, such as extreme SM, animal sex,incest or even non-consensual sex.
Cybersex chatrooms also gives good insight and a very good research materials to authors or students who lack experience and knowledge about people’s sexual fantasies to write better in their romance novels or assignments. I have a few author friends who visited such sites for writing explicit scenes inspiration. And since cybersex conversation is not copyrighted, they even copy, paste and edit the conversation that occurred in the chatroom in their masterpiece. This is one of an author/novelist’s trick that I’m not supposed to tell, but I would like to share it with you guys so that guys know where some of those explicit novels scene comes from. When an author or a student described something very explicitly in her novel or assignment, it does not always mean that they are describing it from experience or they have extreme knowledge about it. Sometimes, they ‘steal’ it from cybersex chatrooms. Convenient and safe? Definitely.
To me, cybersex is not an ultimate evil, and it can only be bad when it’s brought into real life where sometimes, couples consider it as a form of infidelity. Such habit can bring stress to one’s marriage when one get rather emotionally attached to the person(not their spouse/real life partner) that they were cybering with and wishes to make the relation real. Cybersex can definitely be bad when one is addicted to it, and feels that cybersex is better than the real thing, and started to neglect their partner’s sexual needs.
Some sex maniacs uses cybersex chatrooms to fish out minors and trick them into coming out and have sex with them in real life, and there are many cases of it in Malaysia where minors are tricked to come out and have sex with their cybersex partner. Sadly, not only minors are tricked into doing, but adults too. So, my advice to you people out there who are involve in cybersex every now and then with strangers, just be careful. Never use webcams and acts out your bloody explicit fantasy as people could record down your sexual antics in various ways and blackmail you with it. They may not blackmail you with if they do not know who you really are, but they definitely can plaster your sexual acts or nude pictures all over the net. So, careful people, it’s always better to be safe than sorry.
Cleffairy: Is cybersex better than the real thing? Can it actually fulfill all of your sexual needs? One thing to ponder about.
Disclaimer: Over A Cuppa Tea author does not condone cybersex and explicit sexual behaviour. The author of Over A Cuppa Tea would not be held responsible for anyone who decided to get involve in cybersex after reading this entry.