A friend of mine treated me to a Sunday roast buffet last Sunday. The food was marvelous and there was plenty of meaty and savoury stuff to savour. The meal was paired with fine booze, and the whole dining experience was heavenly. I went to the lunch date on my own minus the kid and his father. It’s been awhile since I’ve taken some time off for myself.
A tremendously welcoming break I had in years. It may be just for a mere 2 hours, cuz the kid’s father couldn’t bear babysitting the brat too long…It is understandable, you know, as the brat is too demonic to handle. Even I go crazy with the brat sometimes, so seriously speaking, I couldn’t blame the father for feeling annoyed. Plus, he’s a busy man and all that. Surely entertaining the kid is not exactly something on the schedule, and he could have used the time for better things like meeting clients, doing work and whatnot…but heck, it’s a timely reminder that I’ve been around the kid too much that I never did take some time to breathe, and I really do need such a thing sometimes. I’ve been coddling the kid too much to the point that I forget that we all need some ‘ME’ time, some time to breathe, some time to rest, some uninterrupted and quiet time. I’m really grateful that the kid’s father agreed to take care of him for awhile. It was really a much needed escape.
All I did these days is just stay in the goddamn cave, work, play some stupid online game, stare at the Facebook wall, cook, buy some stuff to eat whenever the stomach actually growls, read some books, write whenever I feel jaded, and that’s just about it. All done when the kid is around. Shit, the kid is almost 24hours with me, cuz no sane babysitter would have bother to take him in and survive him for a couple of hours! F*UCK it, I can really go CRAZY!
To be honest, I don’t feel like I actually exists these days, since life is just so mundane and boring and not much people to talk to. The man is not always around, friends are busy with their own lives and etc. It’s back to the shitty times of 2006, if you ask me. But I’ll do what I can to exist from these day forward. After all…peopleÂ around me are living well without sparing a second thought for me. With or without me, they are still enjoying their lives, going around living their lives the way they want… they are still stuffing food into their mouths and gulping them down easily. They are happy doing what they want, socializing with who they want…so why the hell shouldn’t I do the same? I should eat well and live well too. That is the only rational thing to do. I should share their sentiments;Â ‘With or without you, it is just the same. I still need to eat and live’.
Cleffairy: I got to start improving my life. I should eat well, sleep well, work well…then I will slowly will start to live well again too, just like everybody else around me.