Excuses 101

A friend forward this to me, so I thought I’d share with you all. LOL. Who knows it might come in handy one day.

  1. I can’t come to work today, I’m farting blood
  2. I’m Sorry I Wont Be In Work Today My House Set On Fire And Everything Got Burnt
  3. I cant come into work today because my leg is stuck in the drain outside of my house, and the rescue team haven’t arrived yet to get it out.
  4. I cant come to work because I lost the house keys, I’m locked in.Dave can’t come to work today because, I, his other personality has taken over and I don’t work.
  5. I’m Sorry I Wont Be In Work Today My House Set On Fire And Everything Got Burnt
  6. I cant come into work today because my leg is stuck in the drain outside of my house, and the rescue team haven’t arrived yet to get it out.
  7. I cant come to work because I lost the house keys, I’m locked in.
  8. Dave can’t come to work today because, I, his other personality has taken over and I don’t work.
  9. It is against my religion to work on Mondays and Wednesdays.
  10. I have amnesia, who r u? ………work?…………..I work?
  11. I’d love to come to work today, but I got on the wrong train and I’m now in Edinburgh.
  12. I’m just about to reach enlightenment, so I cant possibly come to work because it will disturb my practices.
  13. I cant come to work because the aliens are coming tonight and I’m baking cakes to give to them as peace offerings.
  14. I’m not coming to work today….. “why not?” ……. because ….. I’m not
  15. I cant come to work because they are after me!!…………. “who?” ……………. Ahhhhhhhh(hear shouting and bangs) ………”hello?……………??”
  16. My friend can’t come into work today because I knocked him out.
  17. I saved so much money by switching to Geico I don’t have to work today
  18. I’m sorry but my eyes are just in bad shape right now. I just cant see myself going into work today.
  19. Sorry boss I cant go to work today because my car keys grew legs of their own and ran off!
  20. Sorry I cannot take the job, When I was but a youngster a wise man told me that there are two days a year that if you work you will surely die. I was so young that I forgot to ask what those two days were and now because of fear I cannot work any day of the year.
  21. I can’t(grunt) come in to (grunt) work today, I HAVE (grunt) EXPLOSIVE DIARREA!!!!!!
  22. I’m not sure when I’ll be in to work…I am in the shower and the shampoo bottle says to, “Lather, Rinse, Repeat.” I might be here for a loooong time.
  23. I can’t come into work today, I have anal glaucoma. What? I can’t see my butt coming into work!!!
  24. I don’t have my work clothes so I wouldn’t be coming in today
  25. I’ll be late for work today because I was on my way to the car, and see it was hot out so I decided I needed to take a break.
  26. I can’t go to work today, because I was painting my house and I drooped paint on the floor and have to put in a new carpet
  27. My arm is too tired to shift, so I can’t drive to work today
  28. I don’t think i’ll be able to come into work today, As i was walking home from work yesterday a wheel came off a passing caravan and hit me in the back. I’m bed-bound and can’t move.
  29. I won’t be able to come into work today because i have to visit my sister in hospital, she had an epileptic seizure as she was holding her baby, threw the baby in front of her which i caught, she then jumped through one of my stained glass windows and landed in my fish pond killing the koi carp. Sorry.
  30. Dear (Who Ever) I’m Sorry I Cant Come Work Today As I Fell In My Pond And I Drowned
  31. “I just called to say I couldn’t make it to work today. My computer has a virus and I have been up all night cleaning up after and tending to it.”
  32. I’ll be out today because I got stuck in traffic on the Parkway and I was overcome by the fumes and had to go home
  33. I can’t come to work today because I have an eye problem, I can’t see coming to work today

9 comments

  1. roses says:

    i can make use of all these next time.
    thanks alot.
    all these should be used before i proceed to digging boss’s dirts. hehehehhe

  2. cleffairy says:

    haha…aiya… i wish i can use those excuse la. I’m so beat, seriously need a break. now i’m really looking forward to merdeka. LOL.

  3. Calvin says:

    33 excuses not enuff…need at least 52 for the number of weeks of the month….my excuse, boss, i cant come to work today because my arm is dead tired after a long session of blogging yesterday…hahaha

  4. cleffairy says:

    haha, Calvin…your arm is dead tired after a long session of blogging…good one. 😛

    Maybe I’ll try that one some day…

  5. pamina says:

    i once told a doctor that i needed an MC from like this,

    doc, i know this is an insult to your profession, as i am not sick in anyway at all though i must say i urgently need an MC because i cant bring myself to go to work.

    he smiled, and proceeded to hand me the MC. honesty is always the best policy.

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