Disclaimer: This entry is rated NC-17, and intended strictly for educational purposes.You may find the content of this entry offensive. Read at your own risk.
It’s still AIDS Awareness Month, and this would be the third time I write something that is related to the subject. While some of you may find this article rather disturbing because of the contents, I strongly feel that this is rather important, as most women all around the world are infected with HIV virus simply because they had unprotected sex with their partner. Let’s take note that most women wanted to be protected.
Women want their man to use condom while having sexual intercourse for various reason- they want to avoid unwanted or unplanned pregnancy, and not to mention that they want to be protected against STD and the mother of all STD horror, HIV infections. However, not all women are lucky to be protected by men, because sometimes men are such blokes who simply refused to wear a condom during sexual intercourse. Some men would give up their arms not to wear condom during their sexual intercourse. They give lame excuse not to wear one. Among the famous excuses are:
- I don’t know how to use one.
- It’s too expensive.
- Wouldn’t it be a waste? Wear and throw…
- I’m ashamed to go and buy one.
- No feelings when use the condom during sexual intercourse.
- It turns me off.
- It makes my dick itch.
- I’m your husband! Why should I wear one? Foolish woman!
So when a young blogger friend of mine, Arc asked me if there’s such thing as a femdom, I had to laugh at his lack of knowledge. But after a moment, I stopped laughing, and felt as if I’ve been hit by a huge truck. I realized, that this is not a laughing matter. Arc is probably not the only man around who doesn’t know what is femdom, or female condom is. Hell, a lot of people do not know that female condoms even exists. And I was aghast to suddenly realized that it’s not only the men who are not aware of it’s existence, but women of all age, races and religion probably do not know that female condom even exists, because it’s not as commercialized as the regular condoms that is meant for men’s usage during sexual intercourse.
So, as a woman, I feel obligated to write about female condoms. At least, as a woman, I did a small part to inform other women that they can actually protect themselves during sexual intercourse if their man refused to use protection. With female condoms, it’s not just up to the man to protect the women in questions, but the women can now protect themselves with such device.
For those who is not familiar with female condom, female condoms are actually a sheath or pouch about 17 cm in length. At each end there is a flexible ring. At the closed end of the sheath, the flexible ring is inserted into the vagina to hold the female condom in place. At the other open end of the sheath, the ring stays outside the vulva at the entrance to the vagina. This ring acts as a guide during penetration and it also stops the sheath bunching up inside the vagina.
For those who do not know how a female condom looks like, it looks like the pictures below:
It looks like a regular male condom, isn’t it? These devices have been available in Europe since 1992 and was approved by the US Food and Drug Administration (FDA) in 1993. It is available in many countries, at least in limited quantities, throughout the world. In Malaysia, it’s available discretely in leading pharmacies. All you have to do it request to buy it, or if it’s not available, you can order beforehand before making your purchase.Women should practice putting it in and removing the condom correctly before using it it for first time during sexual intercourse. Some women may feel uncomfortable using for the first few times. Research indicate that most women may need to use female condoms at least 2-3 times before feeling completely at ease using the device.
Women who are new to female condoms should try to insert the device several times, and each time with the body in a different position- lying down, crouching, sitting or even with one leg up to find the most comfortable position she’s comfortable with to insert the device into her vagina.
It is important to note that the penis should be guided into the centre of female condom and not between the vaginal wall and the outer side of Female Condom.
I will demonstrate how to use a female condom in later part of my article. If the penis does not enter correctly, the man should withdraw his penis and the couple should start over.
Actually, female condoms comes with pre-lubricated with a silicone-based, non-spermicidal lubricant. This lubrication helps assist in the insertion of the device and allows easy movement during intercourse. The lubricant may make female condoms little slippery or oily at first. If the outer ring of female condom gets pushed in or pulled out of the vagina, more lubricant may be needed. Also, if female condom makes noise during sex, simply add more lubricant. Female condom can be used with both water-based and oil-based lubricants, whereas male latex condoms should only be used with water-based lubricants.
Like the male condoms, female condoms are meant to be a one time usage protection device. WHO recommends use of a new male or female condom for every act of intercourse, where there is a risk of unintended pregnancy and/or STI/HIV infection.
Recognizing the urgent need for risk-reduction strategies for women who cannot or do not access new condoms, WHO has developed a draft protocol for the safe handling and preparation of used Female condoms intended for re-use.
WHO does not recommend or promote re-use, but will make available the protocol, together with guidelines on programmatic issues, to programme managers who intend to evaluate its feasibility and application in local settings. WHO’s Information Update on re-use is available on-line. Google it.
Some men and women may be an initial negative reaction to female condoms, because of its size, and the way it looks but this feeling diminishes with use. It is useful to compare female condoms to an unrolled male condom to highlight that female condoms is the same length but wider than the male condom.
Female condoms provides added protection because the base of the penis and the external female genitalia are partly covered during use. Female condoms have advantages. It have the diameter, and men can’t complain about the the female condoms constricting their penis the way the male condoms does.
Now, below is the diagram on how female condoms should be inserted into the vagina and how it should be used:
First of all, open the package carefully by tearing the notch on the top right of the package. Do not use scissors or a knife to open, as it may damage the female condom in the package.
The picture above shows the inner and outer ring of the female condom. The outer ring covers the area around the opening of the vagina. The inner ring is used for insertion and to help hold the sheath in place during intercourse.
While holding the Female condom at the closed end, grasp the flexible inner ring and squeeze it with the thumb and second or middle finger so it becomes long and narrow.
Choose a position that is comfortable for insertion – squatting, raising one leg, sitting or lying down. The condoms are usually properly lubricated for easy insertion.
Gently insert the inner ring into the vagina. Feel the inner ring go up and move into place by using fingers.
Place, the index finger on the inside of the condom, and push the inner ring up as far as it will go. Make sure the sheath is not twisted. The outer ring should remain on the outside of the vagina.
When you’re confident that female condom is correctly in place, it’s ready to be used with your partner for sexual intercourse.
When you are ready, carefully guide your partner’s penis into the condom’s opening with your hand to make sure that it enters properly. And make sure that the penis is not entering on the side, between the sheath and the vaginal wall.
Ladies and gentlemen, female condoms does not need to be removed immediately after a man’s ejaculation, like the male condom. But it should be taken out before the woman stands up to avoid the semen spilling out.
To remove the female condom, twist the outer ring and gently pull the condom out. The outer ring should be twisted properly to seal the condom so that no semen comes out.
To dispose, wrap the condom in the package or in tissue, and throw it in the rubbish bin. Do take note that female condoms are like male condoms, it’s not meant to be disposed and flushed down the toilet bowl.
To help you get a better picture on how to use the female condom, here’s a video on it. Click HERE to watch it.
Actually, there’s a lot of advantage of using female condoms. Firstly, if your bloke of a man refused to wear one, then you can use it, then the bloody guy have no excuse not to use protection. Despite of the chauvinistic stereotype thinking that men are supposed to protect women during sexual intercourse, women too have shared responsibility as far as sex is concern. Women are responsible to protect themselves and their partner too. Female condoms are very much like male condoms in functionality. It protects against STD and AIDS if used correctly.
Female condoms are made of polyurethane and nitrile, which are less likely to cause an allergic reaction than latex. These materials can be used with oil-based as well as water-based lubricants. No special storage requirements are needed because polyurethane and nitrile are not affected by changes in temperature and dampness. In addition, these materials are thin and conduct heat well, so sensation is preserved.
There’s another interesting fact about female condoms. It can be inserted into vagina up to 6-8 hours before sexual intercourse, so, women, yes, you can actually put it in your vagina before having sex. And men will have no excuse to say that the insertion process would turn him off of disrupt the mood.
WHO and UNAIDS are encouraging wider access to the female condom as a method of preventing both pregnancy and sexually transmitted infections. Many governments and non-governmental organisations provide female condoms for free or at subsidised prices as part of their HIV prevention and family planning programmes. So, women, do not feel afraid to use female condom to protect yourself and your partner. Being safe during sexual intercourse is your rights, not a privilege.
Safe sex is important. There’s no compromise about it. And for those who have been following my blog long enough would know that I support safe sex and whatever that protect women in general. A couple of months ago, I did coverage for G0ssip event. Gossip is back now. It’ll be in Penang. Those who are interested to join the educational and fun event, can go to their site to check it out.
Go Awayâ€ the phrase used to symbolise a stop on domestic violence, a phrase that encourages the society to shun from violence by taking appropriate measures. â€œGo Safeâ€ promotes safe sex, a practice that can prevent unwanted pregnancies and diseases. The â€œGo Celebrateâ€ phrase is a celebration of life itself, a measure we so often forge.
Cleffairy: Better be safe than sorry, as prevention is always better than cure.