Fuck off! Don't tell us how to dress up or behave!

Define woman, straight woman. In Malaysia. Here goes. A woman, must have a vagina between her legs and have long hair, and on top of that must wear frilly skirts complete with headscarf and high heels with excessive makeup that will suspiciously make a female individual looks like a baboon’s ass or some ghostly opera singer. To be a woman in Malaysia and not be labeled as tomboy or lesbian, women must also be submissive to men’s wimp and acts all girlie. If a woman in Malaysia does not have the figure or the look of a typical woman or dress up nothing short like a Christmas tree, then she is by all mean, she is a homosexual, or in other words, she’s a LESBIAN.

Is there anything else I’m missing? Please feel free to add, dear readers, I am sure most of you know better than me on how our government and some NGO tells Malaysian women how to dress and how to behave in public in the name of religion. I can’t be bothered listing every damn thing they’re trying to tell us women because there are too damn much to list, and if I were to do so, I might as well write a bloody thick book and publish it.

Bloody hell! Does wearing jeans and t-shirt and having naturally flat chest and short hair makes one a lesser woman or even a lesbian? Must all woman in this bloody country dress up like some belly dancers or paint her face like some bloody bitchy doll from hell to be viewed as a woman in the eyes of public? Now they are telling our women on what to wear and how to behave, what’s next? How to have sex or which sexual position is acceptable in the eyes of the public? Women are not allowed to be on top of her man in bed? What a fucked up place we’re living in!

Having the perception that a woman or girl who dress up or look like a boy is definitely a lesbian does disgust me to no end. Why? From personal experience when I was growing up, I was a ‘tomboy’ too. I do not mix around well with girls my age. I despise wearing makeup (til tis very day), I don’t have big boobs like those porn star bitches does, and loves to mix around with boys and play football and basketball with them. I was a very active young lady when I was growing up, and I love doing what boys my age does, which is play hard, and gets myself into trouble more often than out of it.

But does all of this characteristic makes me a lesbian? Hell, no! I was not a lesbian, even though I have a very close girl friend whom stick together with me wherever we go. I may not look like a typical girl, wearing skirts and frills and favoured flowers, but I was girlish all the same deep inside. I had my fair share of crushes on cute boys. I swoon and goes goo goo ga ga each time I saw some handsome and single new male teachers in school, and hell yes, I love to gossip like most girls do. And God help me, I was addicted to Harlequin and Mills&Boon mushy romance novels and not even my controlling mother could pry those romance novels I secretly bought and stash under my bed with my allowance from my clutches.

Okay, fine, enough of my childhood times where I swoon over those hunks in school. As time goes by, I grew up. And I still do not dress up like a prim and proper lady who graduated from finishing school. I still prefer jeans and t-shirts over frilly dresses. I do not keep up with the latest fashion and I would definitely choose some cool gadget and thick books over those ‘Nippon paint makeups’. Sitting in front of the dressing table, painting my face with God knows what chemical concoction is never a routine. Evaluate my outward appearance, ladies and gentleman. Am I a lesbian?

Hell, no! I’m married to a man. A man, one that you could safely define, with a penis between his legs from the very day he was born. An original one, mind you not some bloody drag queen who had some transgender nip and tuck. So, with all my outward appearance and my dressing preference that is not very feminine in the eyes of public or ‘those people’, does this makes me a lesser woman? I think not, and most people around me does not think so too. So what gives the rights to ‘some people’ to label every single woman in this country who dressed up like a guy just because they feel comfortable with it a homosexual who will put on a strapon undies or armed with whatever kinkily designed dildo and have sex with her own kind at night?

Sorry to say this, assholes, but there are lesbians who look absolutely like a real woman where they are very ladylike and one could hardly guess that she is actually a lesbian, and sometimes, her partner even look like some woman who just came out from a runway catwalk. Gosh, don’t you guys even know that sometimes, to be a homosexual/lesbian, a woman does not have to purposely dress up or behave like a guy? Get out from your cave and smell the stinks of the world, assholes.

People should never judge a person on how others looks like. One may encounter a very beautiful lady who wears skirts, makeups and all, and she could very well be a lesbian and not even close to guessing her sexual preference. Why only label those who looks or dress up as guys as lesbian? What the hell is wrong with your screwed up brain?

If you want to do away with homosexuality, then by all means, tackle the root of the problem that brings up all of these nonsense, not just telling off every single ladies on the street who wears very casually like a man does not to dress up that way just because you think that it’s religiously not allowed to dress up like that. Go figure out why some women have tendency to be a lesbian.

Homosexual tendency is not written in someone’s D.N.A code. No department of science can prove that. It’s something developed during growing up years or somewhere in between teenage years and adulthood. A woman dressing up very casually like a man probably do so because she feels at ease and comfortable with her dressing code. It does not always necessarily mean that she is a lesbian.

Environment matters. Something must have screwed up somewhere to trigger homosexuality in an individual. Hell, I know I’ll turn into a lesbian if the man in my life mistreat me and absolutely have no respect towards me. I am not ashame to admit that. That’s probably the truth, anyway. After all, if most male figure in my life treats women like dirt, why would I not favour women in comparison to men? Women are more understanding towards other women’s sensitivity and needs. After all, men can be such bastards and clueless at times.

Sometimes, childhood environment affect someone’s sexual preference too. Do away with school that’s gender based. School are not supposed to be serving as a convent or a monastery anymore. Keeping children of different genders apart from each other during their childhood and learning years does not only confuse them of their counterpart and in some ways, but definitely encourage them ‘to get to know’ their opposite sex in a rather dangerous way.

Curiosity will lead two individual from different genders who had been kept apart for so long from each other to get close and try to understand each other in a rather sexual way. Opposite usually attract, like moth to the flame. Wouldn’t it be better if children are forewarned and have better understanding of their opposite sex rather than keeping them in the dark and find out about sex in an unhealthy way? Why not keep them informed and educated instead of hiding them away from each other during their growing up years?

Unfortunately, not all kids who were educated in a school that was not co-ed goes all curious and turn out as straight individual. Some grew up either to view at their opposite sex with contempt and prejudice or refused to look at their counterpart at all. They grew to have admiration towards the same sex and slowly, admiration turned into infatuation and beyond.

So, conniving assholes, instead of labeling or telling women not to dress up like men, why not ‘troubleshoot’ the root of all this nonsense first if you think that homosexuality is something that should be condemn? Why only choose to preach all day long in a rather shallow way of thinking instead of doing something that actually might work effectively?

Cleffairy: Children are like a bunch of pottery mud that can be shaped in any ways the artist want it to be. But beware, once a pottery mud has been shaped and burn with heat to make the shape permanent, re-shaping or any alteration would cause it to break.

21 comments

  1. peteformation says:

    These guys got nothing better to do than to make judgement on other people’s clothings. That is not the root of the social problems we face nowadays. Wonder when they r going to wake up lorrr!

  2. cleffairy says:

    Pete, trust me, they are ‘awake’. Well, at least some part of their body is awake. If not why bother in how women dress? Had too much aphrodisiac, probably.

  3. calvin says:

    clef, did someone pissed you off? hahahaha. i explicitly drew a woman’s figure in my mind…lol. anyways, someone had to tell them off and you’re just the right person to do so. and they should look in the mirror before critisizing someone’s dressing or looks. young yuppies nowadays dress to kill. but i cant tolerate excessive dressing, trying to imitate the models from commercials. come on, wake up dude!!!! you’re in malaysia, so dress like a malaysian. but this is a different story. now back to yours, if i was approached by someone critisizing about my i look, i’ll tell him/her to back off before they see 5 fingers on their faces.

  4. u-jean says:

    Hi, Cleff. This time I might have something that I do not agree with you.

    “Homosexual tendency is not written in someone’s D.N.A code. ”

    Well there is still a debate going on whether homosexuality is genetic or cultured.

    “Something must have screwed up somewhere to trigger homosexuality in an individual. Hell, I know I’ll turn into a lesbian if the man in my life mistreat me and absolutely have no respect towards me. I am not ashame to admit that. That’s probably the truth, anyway. After all, if most male figure in my life treats women like dirt, why would I not favour women in comparison to men? Women are more understanding towards other women’s sensitivity and needs. After all, men can be such bastards and clueless at times.”

    I really do not agree with you that homosexuality is a screw up. Sexuality is fluid and to some people, homosexuality is normal instead of a “screw-up”. I assume that you are heterosexual since you are married to a man. If I point to any man, will you fall in love with him? No you won’t. It’s because you fall in love with the person, a specific person, for his personality and not his gender. And therefore, gender is not a criteria when it comes to love. Unless it is self-imposed.

    Women are not secondary to men. And therefore, women love women not because of the shortcomings of men. Women are not a substitute or some spare part. Just because a person is a lesbian, it doesn’t mean that she can’t get a man good enough for her or because men don’t like her enough.

    “Sometimes, childhood environment affect someone’s sexual preference too. Do away with school that’s gender based. School are not supposed to be serving as a convent or a monastery anymore. Keeping children of different genders apart from each other during their childhood and learning years does not only confuse them of their counterpart and in some ways, but definitely encourage them ‘to get to know’ their opposite sex in a rather dangerous way.

    Curiosity will lead two individual from different genders who had been kept apart for so long from each other to get close and try to understand each other in a rather sexual way. Opposite usually attract, like moth to the flame. Wouldn’t it be better if children are forewarned and have better understanding of their opposite sex rather than keeping them in the dark and find out about sex in an unhealthy way? Why not keep them informed and educated instead of hiding them away from each other during their growing up years?

    Unfortunately, not all kids who were educated in a school that was not co-ed goes all curious and turn out as straight individual. Some grew up either to view at their opposite sex with contempt and prejudice or refused to look at their counterpart at all. They grew to have admiration towards the same sex and slowly, admiration turned into infatuation and beyond.”

    This is a myth of the single-sex schools. Would you know of any statistics that shows that all-girls schools produces more lesbians? Studying in an all-girls school does not mean total isolation from boys. They have opportunity to mix in club activities, school gatherings, tuition centres, etc.

    Plenty of lesbians come from co-ed schools as well. Therefore, there is no correlation between single-sex schools and lesbianism.

    Admiring someone of the same sex is not different than admiring some one of the different sex. It’s a “good feeling” that we get because of the impression that someone gives. The difference is that we choose to let some grow and we shoot some down.

    It’s good to hear you speak about how men should stop telling women what to do and how to dress. I’d just like to let you know of what I think about the homosexuality part of your post. I hope it’s not too offensive. Wouldn want to end up like “A Man”

  5. KevinP says:

    LOL….. lets bitch…

    Women SHOULD…. Women… SHOULD… Men SHOULD… Men SHOULD… I guess its just human that a group of people trying to impose their views and morality on others. Thats just what the world is like….

  6. Maya says:

    Hi Clef: Good rant. I think the way our country is going, it’s definitely becoming more narrowminded, more imbecile and more Taliban-like by the day. I read that news bit and went, my god. Now tomboys kena too. But like all ‘good, moral’ guardians (my foot!) they forgot that they had to define what they meant. Which they won’t because they can’t. It’s nice to interpret one’s religion any way one wants, just as long as it serves some purpose (keep some lazy idiots at work) and that purpose always sounds silly or dumb but hey, they operate in their own little cocoon. What’s a tomboy? Can I be a reformed tomboy? Such subjective stuff! They’d have to write a whole manual (Cara-cara mengenalpasti sekiranya anda atau orang yang anda syaki adalah tomboy… heck, what is that BM word for tomboy please?). That’s in addition to other stupid stuff they could write manuals on. As bad and as stupid as the Jalan Alor fiasco. If people don’t know Malaysia, they would know us as the country with the stupidest news and announcements!

  7. Vern says:

    I wonder how long U-Jean took to write that comment…LOL.

    Beware men.. they’re gonna start another ridiculous rule about guys who wear more make-up than girls …

  8. cleffairy says:

    U-jean, I know they are still debating whether homosexual tendency is written in someone’s DNA or not, but there are no absolute proof that the trait is written in someone’s DNA yet, so I think it’s safe to conclude that it’s not written in someone’s gene until someone goes and show us the evidence. 😀 Frankly speaking, I do think that such tendency is cultured, otherwise, why would a pair of identical twins share difference sexual preference? If I’m not mistaken that sort of twins shares the same DNA and every other things except for fingerprints. Their environments must have somehow affected their way of thinking and preference towards certain things.
    Well, maybe I was raised in a rather conventional family where I’m raised to think that homosexuality is against the course of nature. I always believed that god made man and woman as a pair, but maybe my beliefs is wrong, since there are so many homosexuals out there. I believe that marriage is nothing short than a calling from God, a calling that brought two individuals from different gender together, that is my opinion. I wouldn’t dare calling two homosexual individual who commits themselves in a relationship as a marriage…I just feel that it’s not right. I call that a commitment, nothing more than that.
    Actually, that’s where you’re wrong about me…when you said when you point a finger to a certain man on the street and whether I’ll fall in love with him or not. Firstly, I’m rather skeptical about love on first sight. If you point up some guys on the street, and he happens to be some hunk with the looks of some handsome Korean actor or Greek god, I may not fall in love with him, but I’ll definitely swoon over it. LMAO. Opposite sex has always manage to catch my attention, whether the guy is good or bad. LOL.
    Actually, that’s not really a myth, about the school that is not co-ed. I went to all girls school twice, and hell, there’s a lot of lesbians lurking around. I even received letters and was err… sexually harassed in some ways back then… by girls, no less. And it happens that some groupie in school is a bunch of lesbians who look at males with contempt. At first, like you, I thought that such thing is a myth too, but I get to experience such thing first hand. There are a lot of lesbians in girls school(boys, I’m not so sure about it) and some may not distinguish them from the straight ones because they keep their sexual preference to themselves and rather discreet about it. What’s more, I have a younger sister who is studying in all girls school at the moment. She keep on telling me on how great homosexuality idea and culture is, and I believe, she’s quite tempted. So my belief about the myth all flew out of the window. I may not know the statistic, but I do think that there are more homosexual tendencies in schools that are not co-ed.
    Actually, I really do wish to tell those people who tells women in Malaysia on how to wear and behave to go and screw their wives, but thinking back, their wives probably wrap themselves up too much like a bunch of unions… so I rather tell those fuckers to go and fuck themselves if I could. have you heard? Now they are bitching about yoga too. Fuck up people should just shut up and go and screw their brains out! I was so pissed when I read that bloody news. What the fuck? Now people cannot do sports? Stupid bunch of rubbish, really! But u-jean, thank you for telling me what you think. Indeed, your views are interesting. Maybe i am not so ready to be so liberalized yet to think that homosexuality is something very normal. LOL. But I am all fired up when people try to dictate on how women should present themselves in public.

    Kevin, yeah, let’s bitch. i am in da mood for bitching la. LOL. Long time din see you liao, later gonna yak at your place… but I know you wun be there la, so odd hours. LOL. Those people…kesian them la, that’s probably the only thing they can do, because women these days no longer listen to men. Whahahaha. Maybe they not happy la, probably got some Queen control controlling them at home, dun allow them to take second wife or something… so they try to feed their ego by telling what other women can and cannot do. Whahaha.

    Maya, we’re living in a screwed up country. The other day they were damning tomboys, today they are condemning yoga. Oh boy, I can’t wait what’s next bloody thing that will be sputtered from their stinking mouth(prolly din brush teeth becoz they think some toothpaste is not for Muslim to use). What I don’t get is, why these assholes only targeted women? Why not target men instead? Are there no gays in Malaysia? How about those drag queens in Chow Kit Road? WTF! Chauvinist bastards la…blind or wud, I also dunno. I see some men wearing lip gloss and stuff also wud, go target them la, so pissed off with these people la, Maya. Obviously, their thinking is very shallow. But what to do la…people like them are probably paid to scrutinize women on how they look like and behave, because they realize that women these days are pretty much liberated and have brains. Poor thing la, those people. They cannot accept that women are no longer men’s playthings and can be told what to do and how to dress up, so, maybe that is why they are bitching…so pity, can only bitch, cannot do other thing. LOL. 😛

    Vern…I’m not so sure if they will do that. these people seems to obsessed in women’s behaviour only, not men. But yea, nothing is safe,they might do that when they run out of things to tell of us women…So, men, try not to wear lipsticks or clean your face with facial, okay? IT IS NOT A MANLY THING TO DO. Later they label you guys as a drag queen, you know? LOL. 😛

  9. Garfield says:

    this is not the 1st time those ass holes come out with these kind of announcement.

    and i am damn fed up with these ppl.
    all the time, they tell ppl must do this and must not do that, but themself is doing something against wat they said.

    and some of them even extreme until saying woman must not react and must shut the mouth off and act like a piece of wood when their husband is fucking them, even when their husband is “SM” them, they should give any respond

    if u do read some old news, u will find that is real.
    it is so stupid to giving this kind of statement. if wan to fuck like this, y they dun just buy a piece of wood and fuck that wood lar?

  10. cleffairy says:

    Garfield… tell you something. The other day they condemn tomboys. Today, they said yoga is forbidden, because it has Hindhu teaching in it. Whoppeee! What’s next, you think? Wanna bet with me? I’d say, next is what sexual position women are not allowed in bed. Oh mianz…no more women on top? No more doggie style and 69? That would be a shame isn’t it, I think those positions are so damn cool and kinkly. Never mind…maybe they are gonna promote orgies next time, I will be looking forward to that, you know… I can’t wait to see those people disguising threesome and foursome in the name of polygamy! 🙁 Now, please excuse me while I go and watch some porn or read some kama sutra before those damned bastards tell us Malaysian women not to read sexual material because it’s religiously not allowed!

  11. amoker says:

    Hemmm.. i used to think that homosexuality is DNA based. After much brain juice and working with gay progressive organisation like Pink Triangle & Marina Mahathir’s MAC, I would agree that there is no conclusive evidence that it is only DNA. Kinda weird since I am supposed to be overly influenced.There are ideas on the influence of hormone esp. in growing up stages. There are also thoughts about influence of environment. At the end of the day, we can blame everything but it is the individuals’ decision.

    So, i am very much with my Bible’s preaching that homosexuality is against God’s intention. But i have many friends who are gay & i believe that is how God’s love will touch them.

    Cleff,
    I like your posting. I like the way you describe many things and gives me some kinky moments. Men is very visual. haha. Having my telecon now since 7 am … and this proves a good distraction. ON the issue of fatwa, I do think that it is their perogative to fatwa but they tend to look at small issues. Give a fatwa on ISA , racism etc. and those ulamaks would be working.

  12. pamina says:

    interesting discussion…both on “what should be done and shouldn’t be done” and homosexuality. i think they are compensating, trying to regain control. a poor attempt at that so just wait for more.

    as for homosexuality, i have been on both single sex and coed schools. i was raised in a conventional malay family where i was very much loved my parents and siblings, and i loved them to death. nothing in my environment induce me to be a homo. i dont know any homo whilst growing up. and yet i was aware of my feelings towards women and tried every single time and ways to fight it till i was 25, cuz by then i was tired of feeling guilty every single day. not to mention i avoided ppl in general because i was afraid of becoming a lesbian. not to mention countless effort to like men to re-affirm that i am hetero in disguise. so i think i pretty much did all i can to try to fight becoming a homo, and yet, i only feel at peace when i accept who i am. and to be honest, i dont need a gf to confirm i am a homo. i just need myself to accept who i am and move on with life.

  13. Celine says:

    I have deep feeling towards this topic lor. I still remember when I was a kid, I love to wear pants coz I feel more comfortable in it. I am all girly but I also have the boy’s attitude sometimes. I wore pants all the time at home. And when my relatives came they would be like, “Aiyo, girls should wear more skirts! Then u will look prettier!” At that time I was still a kid, so I just listen lor.

    So now when I am grown up. I still listened to the same theory from my friend and colleagues. They will say smtg like,”U so tomboy lar! How come u never wear skirt ah?” or “We shud impose a rule on girls to wear skirts compulsory! Nowadays girls just won’t wear skirt!”

    Of coz, these are all from guys! So stupid! What happened to girls who wear pants or jeans? Is it against the law! Damn stupid. I will just keep quiet everytime coz I don’t want to argue w them. But honestly, I am so pissed off lor!

    Next time I think I will go ahead n tell those guys,” If u wear a skirt one day, then I will wear one too!!”

  14. eugene says:

    To save all the troubles, you must first learn to RESPECT, whether homesexuality is written in one’s DNA, why someone cross dresses, it really doesnt matter to me, what i am am saying is i respect each human being in his or her own individuality and so long it doenst cause hurt to other, then so be it.

    so fuck off to all bigotry

  15. cleffairy says:

    Amoker… I have different beliefs that homosexuality is DNA based…I’ve always felt that it’s the hormones or the environment. Aahahaha. I’m not a religious person, but I am a believer nevertheless. Never once I doubt the idealism that God created man and woman as a pair. Maybe, there is a reason why homosexuality exists since Gods know when. Maybe it’s God’s way of showing his power and variety in his creation, THAT we’ll never know. The Fatwa fellers really have nothing better to do…yes, you’re right, why not touch on the basic fundamental of human rights(which is quite lacing in Malaysia) and stuff. Instead, they are whining over female’s dressing and YOGA. YOGA, for heaven’s sake! I bet next up is Taichi! 🙁

    Pamina, they are probably just poor chaps who could not manage an erection, and to feel macho and manly, they tell off women! Interesting story on your sexual preference…thank you for sharing with us.

    Celine… lol. Yeah, why the hell women should let people tell her how to dress up or how to behave? We’re already lacking alot of things like basic human rights in this bloody country, why still want to take way women’s freedom on how she should present herself? Rubbish. I’d love the day I see men wearing dresses or bikini and high heels! (I saw men wear skirts before, in Scotland, LOL)

    Eugene… respect is the easy part, but accepting is another story. I have homosexual friends, and it’s easy to respect them, but I find it quite hard to accept the way they think, especially when they try to make us think that homosexuality is the way of life. I have nothing against those who keep it to themselves though. 😀

    Vern *gasps* she does? My, my! Let’s lock her up and let her hair grow. Aahahaha… not fair wan ma, her hair is so short also. 😛 how is exam, Vern?

  16. allan chan says:

    What a very long post but I get your point.

    Is all about perception, what does peoples think when they see a person from the way they dressing.

    Every human have their own perception when they see someone because every human mind is different so seeing a lady dress in boyish manner and jump into conclusion that the lady is a Lesbian is only show that the people are narrow minded and it is very unfortunately because 1st imprecation is always the one that lead people to jump into conclusion.

    So, ignorance is always the best way.

    But telling people on how to dress or not to dress are always an issue and I believe is a sensitive one especially to ladies. So, this religion council came up a fast forward conclusion that a lady wear a dress in a boyish manner and behave like one is going to be homosexual??

    My comment only are “haha haha”.
    The council should go study the porn movie and holloywood celeb. Those lesbian very damn sui one.

    Anyway, since homosexual is forbidden in their religion and of cause others religion forbidden too, but they go extend until to forbidden tomboyish??

    Ok, from my point of view and non Muslim perception, Tomboy:gal behave like boy, mix more boys than gals, and have the appearance like boys and yet they will of cause do what a normal gals will do which is love to man.

    Actually is not a social ill either, is just that some people are sakit mata mamandang and think nonsense’s only. So tomboyish is not wrong actually.

    But the funny thing, the religion council does not realize that man (most of them are from their religion) now days are more tended to be ahgua and gay. To me is more painful in the eyes and very geli. They should pay more attention to this one.

    Anyway, since this is their religion matter and of cause their umat matter as well, they think that do it that way, they can make things correct, so just ignore it as long they don’t come out the same ruling to the non-Muslims

    So, ignorance is still the best way.

  17. Vern says:

    Eh? How you know I’m having exams ah? Am doing ok – chomping books and crunching numbers has become a routine lately. I miss playing around with graphics on my lappy.

    Oh yeah, the NanoWrimo thing have started right? You all geared to go yet? 🙂

  18. cleffairy says:

    Vern, I’m a stalker, that’s why I know. LMAO… aiya, just kidding la… you wrote it somewhere in your post or twitter, I think. I hope you’re doing well in your exam.

    Yup, the NaNoWriMo thingie has just started, and I’m still procrastinating, lmao… gonna get started soon… now, where is all my caffeine and snacks? 😛

    All the best in your exam, Vern. 😀

  19. marineko says:

    Hmm… as to homosexuality and DNA, I read in a science journal last year (can’t remember which; it’s prolly still somewhere in the piles of magazines I accumulated last year, though) that there is definitely no proof single DNA quirk that causes homosexuality (so far), but there is a good argument for a group/series of DNA quirks, that if all of them exist in the same person, it increases chances of that person being a homosexual. Interestingly, the same quirks in DNA that gives men homosexual tendencies, causes females to be more fertile than usual. The tests and observations in the journal show that females with those quirks have more babies than the norm. It also studied male and female desire, and pretty much concluded that while men are either gay, bi or straight, females are generally bisexual in nature – for females, their sexual orientation is based more on emotions (and sometimes environment) than biology, basically. The study also states that the said DNA quirks are passed down by males, meaning if gay men no longer pressured by society to marry and have children, the genes might actually die out. I found the study really interesting, especially since it was pretty sound (dammit, wish I could find it now) and was pretty much ignored by many because it was too controversial a subject for most scientists to touch. (Similarly, I read in a more recent study about a species of monkey that would mate with the opposite sex to breed, but spend most of the mating season in orgies with members of the same sex, which was known to scientists since the 70s, but never mentioned in most scientific papers or documentaries. Even now there are “scientists” that claim homosexuality in animals is a myth. There is nothing I hate more than treating good arguments as “theories” just because they don’t fit into the majority’s belief system.)

    While I do believe that to some extent that homosexuality in women is based on environment, I had problems with part of your argument. By implying that a woman only has homosexual tendencies if they have had bad experiences with men or grew up in a same-sex school environment lacks depth, as there are too many reasons why a woman may be homosexual to narrow it down to those two reasons, which are the sort of thing that the same people who say “women should dress like women” would say. It’s true, there are women who have been abused and are homosexual, and there are women who grew up in all-girls’ schools who are homosexual. But statistically, is it true that more women in these environments are gay than straight? And the percentage of gay women in these environments more than in opposite, “healthier” environments? I have been both to a co-ed and an all-girls’ school, and while I could only speak of my circle of friends, there isn’t much difference in the number of gay or straight people that I know in either school. The big difference, though, is in the all-girls’ school there was less pressure to “act like a girl” (since there were no boys around to “put an act” for), and tomboys were free to be tomboys while the girly girls were free to be girly. (This may have played a part in the myth that all-girls’ schools turned girls into lesbians; as there were more tomboys, perhaps they were assumed to be gay just because of that?) I do believe that there are homosexual women who are gay because of the environments you mentioned, but there are also many that felt they have always been that way, and I know women who have had healthy heterosexual relationships most of their adult life, just to end up falling in love with another woman. Of course, there is no proof that supports either argument.

    Okay. That was a long comment. And it wasn’t even what I wanted to comment about! It’s just that, I was reminded of that study when I read your opinion about homosexuality and DNA.

    What I wanted to say is, even though I obviously disagree with certain parts of it, I really think this is a good post. I think your point about how lesbian women might not even be tomboys is a really good one! The funny thing is, the stereotyping doesn’t even stop in a lot of the gay communities – as straight women are told to “dress/act like women”, many gay women still think that lesbians have to “dress/act like lesbians.” (And by “like lesbians” they mean “like tomboys.”) And remember when people kept talking about how it was wrong to be a “lelaki lembut”?

    In the end, I think what I stand for is not just a woman’s right to dress and act however they like, but everyone’s. ANYONE who tells others “this is the way things are supposed to be, and you are not allowed to be different” should fuck off.

    p/s: while writing this I have been reading some of the other comments, and it just reiterates the fact that you’ve written a good, thought-provoking post. Only a good post could open such an interesting dialogue in its comment section! 🙂

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