Have you ever?

Have you ever wanted something so bad that you could have sworn that you’d do anything to get it and you’d go on hoping and hoping that one day that your heart’s desire will be finally yours?

Have you ever hoped so much to the point that one day, you give up hoping for the thing that you wanted and no longer wanted it when it finally comes?

Well, I have given up hope on certain things that I wanted, for I felt that it would be hopeless to continue hoping for what my heart truly desire, especially when it depends on somebody else to make it come true.

I gave up hoping so that I can spare myself the hurt and the disappointment that comes with hoping and waiting, wasting my youth. It is better this way. And if it’s really fated that whatever I wanted one day is presented before my very eyes… perhaps then I would be able to turn my face away and say…  “I no longer want this. I stopped wanting. I gave up. This doesn’t mean anything to me anymore. I am better without this.”


Cleffairy: Tired of waiting. Tired of wanting. Perhaps loosing hope is not so bad after all. It spares me the disappointment of a fool who had waited too long for the impossible. The day I stopped hoping for the impossible is the very day I’m liberated.

27 comments

  1. eugene says:

    I tried so hard to get a six pack abs for so many years, always to no avail now i am just happy with 4 will do…….

    ya you are right,sometimes you are better of to not wanting things that are a little far fetch…………

    hey,met up with Arthur yesterday, first time seeing his missus, a nice lady i must say….

    • Cleffairy says:

      Cikgu is indeed a very generous and humble man. it is an honour for me to have met him. 😀

      Indeed, we all must be content with what we have… or we’ll never find peace with ourselves.

  2. Philip says:

    Well, you better tell that someone to read this post. Maybe he/she will oblige and grant you your heart’s desire. Actually you;re doing it wrong. Start believing that your desire will come true and one day, it will come true. It’s not wishful thinking or magic, it’s a law of nature. It works this way. If you really believe it’s going to come to you, you will work hard to get it and you will get it eventually. If you don’t believe you will get it, why even try? Might as well give up and of course you’ll never get it if you don’t try.

    • Cleffairy says:

      There are things that mortal cannot grant me, Philip-things beyond mortal’s comprehension and power. I always believe I can achieve a lot of things, for in the word ‘impossible’, there’s ‘I’m possible’ in it. But… still… there are things that only God can grant me with. It is also, not something I can work on…as it is not up to me to decide…so I believe, sometimes, when you don’t hope too much or you don’t expect too much, you’d be happier and more content with what you have.

  3. claire says:

    hi Cleff.. to tell u truth, i given up wanting anything.. now i let my life to flow along and see what is in store.. i dont expect much now.. so…….. just live day by day.. be thankful and all is well in our souls.. 🙂

    • Cleffairy says:

      Claire… truthfully… I have come to learn the same thing. You, STP and Kat taught me that… and each time I feel the world is against me… I would remind myself of Serenity prayers…

      “Living one day at a time, and take the world as it is instead of how I want to have it…”

      I was blind, but I see now…sometimes, to expect less and to be content and grateful with what we have…is better than to pine for what we don’t have.

  4. goldflower86 says:

    sigh this post so sad. huhuhu.
    well actually we can’t ask much from another person
    people will hurt you for sure.
    hmmmm
    its ok to hope i think. as long as it is realistic?
    the only corner in this world we can change is ourselves so i think we must have hope in ourselves and GOD and not other.
    done musing
    cheer up dear

    • Cleffairy says:

      Hope, sometimes leads to disappointment… and so does expectation… and yes, to change ourselves is definitely easier than to change others.

      You see… i was so miserable last year because I attempted to change what i cannot change… but this year, I stopped trying to change people… instead, I change myself… and it is much better…and it gives me much more peace and happiness.

  5. MRC says:

    Dunno what you want but may christmas’s star & miracle produce a wonder for you – Share your dream with your hubby!!!

    • Cleffairy says:

      Thank you, MRC… hope you get whatever your heart’s desire also.

      ps: What I want is not something people can give me, and it’s not something money can buy either. 😛

  6. Cheeyee says:

    Clef, I have no more dream, I have no more hope and no wish ever since 2 years ago. I stop believe people will grant what I want/wish and I drop all my expectations. Everyday I’m asking myself what am I doing. Can I do better? Do I want to do better? Do I want to change to do better? I appreciate and treasure what I’m having now. I may not happy at work but at least I still have a job. I realize that whenever I have hope, I will go back to my old self easily and that is not what I want, even though the old me made me shine at my work.

    Good times may not last forever, similarly for bad times. A loss does not means you won’t get something better later. Merry Christmas to you and may you continue to find peace and happiness in your life.

  7. mars mell-o says:

    sometime it’s just so hard to put on hope on one thing we truly desires cause at time we might never get and when at time it finally does come but we seem’s not to want it anymore.

    Just like this statement “sometime is hard to be a woman giving all your love to just one man”

  8. suituapui says:

    I always tell my daughter – it’s fated…all depends on jodoh. If it will happen, it will happen – and good! If not, life will just have to go on…and we will just have to do the best we can.

    P.S. So nice to meet Eugene again…but my post on that would probably come after Christmas – follow chronological sequence. So far, have not reached Cameron yet!

  9. kelvin says:

    I know how u feels, i had given up something that i always wanted for a long time. I almost got it 🙁

    ____________________
    Replied to ur comments

    @cleffairy, lol relax, i did not say woman “should not be allowed to learn, have friends of her own and her job is only to please the bloody in laws and bear him children.”

    The post i written is for those women i mentioned in it, and wat i really meant is for them and their boyfriends to sit down and talk it all, those conditions are a bit absurd don’t u think so?

    Its ok to agree with 2 or 3 of them, but my friends basically wants their boyfriends to agree on all the conditions.

    Thanks for u comments, i love it when ppl comment like that ^_^

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