I Almost Divorced My Husband, But I Went On Strike Instead

Disclaimer: I want to do a lot of things, but I don’t have much time to accommodate everything. The article below is open for interpretation, and it’s a result of my attempt at writing a multi- purpose article. The article below is written because:

  • I’m participating in a writing challenge in my writing circle that begins with: Write a coherent article that contains:Queen of the  Nile, Duracell Bunny, battery, Genie, pollution, Disney’s movie, Medieval slave.
  • I need to write a book review that I’ve been procrastinating from writing.
  • My desire to write up a Labour’s Day dedication to all overworked ladies who are wife and mother, but don’t quite have the time to do it, so yes, this is a Labour’s Day dedication.

I don’t know about you ladies out there, but for me, married life is not exactly a bed of roses. If a friend ask me what married life is like, I’d scornfully say it’s like working without the benefit of medical leave or any other advantages that’s applicable to other employees all around the world.’Vacations’ or a ‘medical leave’ is extremely hard to obtained for us wives. Well, at least to me, it is difficult.

Being married sometimes would also mean that you can be subjected to verbal and emotional harassment from your in- laws, and yet, you don’t quite have the rights whatsoever to drag your in- laws to court because more often than not, such action shall undermine your marriage because your other half gets all emotional over it and consequently, the marriage will turn sour and things will be ugly indefinitely.

Ask me how it is like to be a mother… I’d say: Quite like a Medieval slave in a feudal Lord’s household, cuz there’s endless chores to be done, tonnes of responsibility being placed on the shoulder, absolutely no escape, no bloody rest even you’re halfway dead and not to mention you shall also be the subject of society’s scrutiny if you failed to educate your children to be up to par with their peers.

Ask me what’s the advantage of being married… perhaps I’d say free, legal sex, though not necessarily safe all the time. That is an advantage, of course, if you have a libido like a hormonal teenager and your other half is actually good in bed and bent on pleasing you first before pleasing and satiating his own carnal needs.

If you don’t quite fancy having sex or the man is the kind who likes to please himself without taking your needs into consideration, then such legal advantage is of course, not an advantage and it’s just another chore and responsibility in your already long list.

Of course, I’m not saying that marriage and motherhood will be the same with everyone. Some women managed to land themselves some precious catch where their husband spoil them like the Queen of The Nile. They are the Queen of the world and need not lift a finger to even eat.

I only feel that way because at times, I feel that I am not appreciated and being taken for granted. I feel that way because people expect me to do everything and refuse to pick after themselves and see me like some sort of automatic machine that will do everything for them whenever, whatever they want to be done.

They also think that I am not entitled for some good rest. Perhaps, they are under the illusion that I am a Genie. Whatever they want, they’ll just wish it and I shall make it appear. Want a drink? No problem, just state the wish to me and I’ll make it appear. Want something to eat, no problem too, I’ll make it appear in a jiffy. Want money? Want massage? Sure, no problem. I can make it appear too and they do not even need to say the magic word ‘please’ or ‘thank you’.

I do wonder if I’m blue in colour… like that Genie in Disney’s movie Aladdin. I must be a higher class Genie, though… cuz apparently, the wishes people can ask of me is not just limited to 3, and they need not thank me for it because they probably thinks Genies like me won’t get mad and leave them because I’m under some unbreakable, binding contract that will not allow me to leave.

But of course… higher class Genie like me need not to live in an old lamp. I guess I’m luckier than any other Genies cuz I actually live in a house. Thank God for small mercies. I hate to think that I’d be confined in a lamp throughout my tenor as a Genie. I’m terribly claustrophobic, if you must know.

Sometimes, I tend to think I look like some noise pollution technician too, cuz every time there’s noise in the house, I’d be expected to fix it and make the noise go away.

You see, I got extremely sick and tired of that; to be seen like some sort of furniture that blends in the house perfectly. I wanted to be treated like human again, so whenever I feel that it is too much, I’d just go on strike and stop doing whatever I am expected to do. No cooking, no cleaning, no babysitting, no whatsoever.

Enough is enough, and one enough as for what it’s worth, even an employee have their rights and access to annual leave or medical leave. All they need to do is just apply it and they will get it. I should be entitled to some sort of relief too. I ought to be given the rights to say ‘NO’ when things does not sit well with me or when I am exhausted or when I’m ill. And I definitely have to be given rights to have a ‘ME’ time without being disturbed.

After so many years, I have come to realize that I’m not a toy bunny that’s running on Duracell battery that can go on and on without stopping. I’m just a bunny that’s running on a re-chargeable battery, and when the battery is depleted, I need to be recharged so that I can work efficiently again. I want to be appreciated. I need to make people see the importance of the role that I’m playing in the house.

I suppose, some ladies out there are feeling the same; things are too much to handle at times but just dare not voice it out or rant it out for the fear of being judged. It’s all right. I am sure you would know when enough is enough and put a stop to it and set things straight again and make people see you as a human once more instead of just a wish granting Genie or the inexhaustible Duracell Bunny.

Perhaps, you’re overworked and under-appreciated too, but do not know how to stop being overworked and be appreciated once again. Perhaps, some of you are tempted for a divorce. But trust me, sometimes, divorce is not the solution and will not make such problems go away. In fact, sometimes, divorce will only make things worst and brings up more issue.

All you need to do is just say ‘NO’ whenever things gets too much for you and make people see your worth. Don’t know how to do that? Perhaps, this book can help.

Title: I Almost Divorced My Husband But I Went On Strike Instead

Publisher: Cedar Fort

Imprint: Bonneville Books

Pub Date:8 June 2011

ISBN:9781599555171

I Almost Divorced My Husband But I Went On Strike Instead by Sherri Mills. In my opinion, this is a must have book for every wife and mother who overworked and under-appreciated. It teaches you how to turn that monster of a kid and that chauvinist swine of a husband back into an angel they used to be in the most effective and subtle way. I received a digital ARC of this book from the publisher Cedar Fort via Netgalley and I must say, this is definitely a self-help treasure. A 5 star book. If you’re an overworked and under-appreciated wife and mum, do yourself a favour and get a copy of this book when it’s released.

Cleffairy: Happy Labour’s Day.

18 comments

  1. suituapui says:

    That’s why I always tell my daughter – marriage is an option, not a must…and if she MUST go in, do so with eyes WIDE open…not with rose-tinted glasses. Must consider everything…including the outlaws right down to the way they live!

    • Cleffairy says:

      True and true… must launch a ‘Kempen Kesedaran’ on this matter. LOL…everything must be take into consideration, especially the outlaws. Must play a bit of James Bond and Mission Impossible before gets married!

  2. AngeLBeaR says:

    part of the reason why I stay single….am not saying that getting married, have a family, being a wife and mother is bad…but once a woman’s married she will be having lots of new title and roles to what she already has – A wife, a daughter in law, a sister in law, more additional cousins and nephews and nieces from the hubby’s side, mother….

    my salute to all ladies who took all these responsibilities.

    • Cleffairy says:

      Yes, when get married liao need to deal with a lot of nonsense, and it takes a lot not to go bonkers after getting married, especially if the husband is a chauvinist and the in-laws are domineering traditionalist.

  3. claire says:

    wow..the title nearly startled me off my chair! well, as people use to say.. marriage is not a bed of roses ..in fact it is a very tough journey to the Destination…

    • Cleffairy says:

      LOL.. Claire… the title is a book title… and part of the article is a book review. Kekekeke… this post must read with an open mind. Hahahaha… but den again the article is open for interpretation, and I think sometimes, alot of ladies feels the same way and do not know the way to fix it.

      Yes, it is tough. Sometimes I don’t think I can handle it. I can only pray to God to have mercy, give me patience and give me wisdom to handle it. I dun pray for strength. Wait God give me strength, later I belasah everyone. LOL!

  4. MRC says:

    I just think being full time housewife, one have right to day-off, if say not feeling well cuz everyone’s just human at the end of the day & these posting is like educating on not to expect that marriage is a bed of roses – hear some stories from my own family as well & believe me everyone have their share of woes in marriage – Life is tough not just for singles but for the married as well

    • Cleffairy says:

      Cis… married life of course is strenuous… I think I got to launch more kempen kesedaran on this. Some people think that being married is just easy and like shaking legs at home, doing nothing!

      • MRC says:

        Cis some more – I do nothing 2 u lor – innocent bystander only mah…..but comparatively should be more flexible at house compared to rigid working hours LOL..That’s the reason one of my team mate just got married & now full time housewife..Happy or not years later only know

        • Cleffairy says:

          Lord have mercy on your friend’s soul. I have no idea why people always think that being a housewife you’d be entitled to a flexible ‘working hour’. I’d sooner go back to a 9-5 job than a bloody 24hr chores at home. Stress level is higher at home too. All you get to see is four walls and screaming spawn of satan at home. Worst is when your husband thought that you’re doing nothing but shaking booties while he’s at work.

  5. Alice Law says:

    HUGZ!!! I profoundly agreed with what you hv written!!!
    I quit my job to push myself and serve my family like a maid,( babysit 2 rascals, make sure the house clean and cosy, settle the house chores, putting food on the table every mealtime) yet I still get complains after complains from the boss. He will voice out how I fail to ‘educate’ the 2 brats if they behaved like a barbarian, mess the house and being rude to him. I reckon I hv try my best but my best just seems not good enough(to please him)!:(

    To me, married life is like trial of challenges and exams… they just nvr ends! It’s rather exhausting, but whn I look back… I still hv lots of great moment to ‘cover up’ the emo wor, consider not bad liao, lol!

    Thanks for sharing ya! Another good post!

    • Cleffairy says:

      Alice, I used to enjoy being a full time wife and mum. But as years got by, I got irritated, because of the lack of appreciation and complains. Took me for granted and expect me to do every single thing. Cook, clean, babysit, sex, you name it.

      And a few years back, the husband ditched me so damn often to have drinks with his friends til the wee hour in the morning while I had to deal with a spawn of a demon at home. What’s much more worst…is that he allowed tarts of hormonal cheap women to call, sms and miss call him while he is at home. And on this, I’ll just stop there… I suppose you can feel how I feel at this point.

      Bloody husband have high expectation on me while expect me not to ask anything back in return at all, not even a ‘thank you’. I said nothing. No complaining whatsoever either.

      Stupidly serve and serve until one point, one specific year, the MIL came and visit and the husband allowed her to ‘take charge’ in the kitchen and in the house just so that, quoting his exact words,
      “Nevermind lah, as long it can make her happy. Let her happy abit lah”

      I was really pissed. Even to this day I can’t forgive that. Seriously, how can he think that can sit well with this? So I’m supposed to be contented with being scrutinized and being hinted that I did a terrible job all these while? MIL or not, that person is not my mother, and never will be til the end of time. For what it’s worth, I dun even allow to interfere my personal life that way.

      I absolutely do not appreciate such invasion. Good Lord, at that time I seriously wondered how the husband would react if my father stayed in my house and took charge of everything and hint at him that he was doing a terrible job raising his family? How would he have felt? I supposed, the husband did not think from that point of view. OBVIOUSLY.

      The husband claimed that the mother is just trying to help, but the problem is that I feel as if I’m being judged. He did nothing to assure me that I did a good job either, and just let her be. But I think my BIL knew how I feel, and tried to assure me that whatever that’s going on is not my fault. BIL was the only one who tried to comfort me when that woman was all armed to ‘clean up’ my house. Only then I knew why his wife avoid that lady like a plague. Neway, things turned sour in the end cuz finally had enuff and I became the bad DIL.

      Got sick and disgusted of myself how things turned out and I stopped being a good person since. I told myself, enough is enough, and the husband and the brat ought to start appreciate what I do for them, or they get nothing at all. I don’t care if the world view it as my responsibility to take care of the house and play a maid to the brat, cuz as far as I’m concern, I was not born to serve them, and I’m under no obligation to do so.

      I VOLUNTEERED, and if they can’t appreciate what I’ve done for them all these while, I should take away the privilege to remind them the fact that I VOLUNTEERED. It’s just as simple as that. They want to something? Either start being nice to me and appreciate what I’ve done, or they do it on their own. I refused to be subjected to such Machiavellian mindset.

  6. Cynthia says:

    cool cool… *take a pail of cold water and pour on the ‘fire’*… should I say I am lucky that I am a mother but not a wife? *_*

    • Cleffairy says:

      LOL, Cyn… it’s gonna take more than a pail of water to get me to cool down. Got pissed like this, the only cure is ice cream or chocolate. They make me happy. Haha.

      I suppose I can say you’re lucky, but then again, I also understand that by being a single mother, the challenge is much greater than us who are married.Til today there’s still negative perception in the damn society on single mothers, and I hate that. Idon’t know how you did it, raising Anna by yourself and doing such a great job at it. I am not sure if I am capable enough to do what you are doing. Kudos to you, Cyn. Nawwwww… how about some mother’s day makan makan next wik? LOL!

  7. Jeremin says:

    *quickly take out a box of icecream and offer to Cleffairy*

    Hope it help to cool you down. =)
    I understand the feeling being unappreciated and those non-stop complaining made anyone MAD.

    Oh my.. i wish i can have such a book too!

    • Cleffairy says:

      *sigh* If only ice cream could really make me feel better. LOL…

      Yes, sometimes, I just don;t understand why they go on and on complaining about things that they’re not satisfied with when they can actually help out and make things better. 🙁 MEN! GRRR!

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