I've been a very naughty girl…

Dear Satan Claus, Devourer of Children’s Souls,

My name is Cleffairy. And i’m 24 years old this year. This year, I have been a very bad little girl. I have compulsively cheated, and I have never helped my colleague with their pyramid schemes or their credit card debts. But I always say thank you, which makes me polite, and so I deserve lots of blank checks this year!

Please bring all this stuff for me and the people in my life: For my mommy, please bring a tranquilizer. For my daddy, please bring a new Rogaine prescription. For my little sister, please bring methodone. For my doggy, please bring breath mints. For my husband, more money in his savings account, so that he could afford to give me supplementary Mastercard that I can swipe and sign to my heart’s content. Oh, and for my boss, please bring some work ethic, he’s been flirting with the bitches in my office. It’s such an eyesore.

Now about me. Please bring me all of the new bling bling jewelries in Tiffany&co’s Xmas collection , a wardrobe of pretty dresses, and two first class flight ticket to Venice, plus a free cruise trip around the world. Oh, and please don’t forget to bring my Lamborghini Diablo VT 6.0 too. But if you can’t, just remember that more than anything Santa, what I really really want is just RM 100,000,000!

Anyway, I will leave some cognag for you. I’m sure you will enjoy it. It’s a good one, Santa. You really should try something more intoxicating than milk. I really would like to see you fly on the sledge while intoxicated. i wonder if there’s any air patrol that will issue you a ticket or two.

Hohoho, Merry Xmas to you and the entire North Pole.

Yours truly,

Cleffy

PS: Please say hi to Ralph, the heartless Elfin slavemaster.

PPS: Oh yeah, and remember the bitch in my life? You know, the very same one who tries to get you in her skirt? She has been a really naughty and slutty all year long and doesn’t deserve any Christmas presents. So please don’t forget to put some dog shit in her stocking. Thanks!

Cleffairy: There you go folks, Cleff’s letter to Santa, and there goes my good girl image. LOL.

20 comments

  1. eugene says:

    ok Cleff, i pray hard for you to santa and make him to grant you all your wishes till your heart’s content.

    Dont worry of spoiling your bad girl image dear cos you dont have one, you are just being true,,, hohohohoh

    take care my friend, and dont stop being naugthy ya ?

  2. Dreamkid says:

    hahahahahah… good one! I bet Santa is going to be jolly after the drinks you gave him…

    All I want for Christmas is a girl sitting at the my Christmas tree this year who is innocent, polite, fun and pretty…hahahah

  3. cleffairy says:

    Stp… wahhh…. you can eat all meh? You want so many food to eat… lol…

    Eugene
    *blink, blink* I’m not greedy wan… if Santa dunwan to give me those things I asked for, he bring me RM100,000,000 enuff oredi. LMAO. I’ll be very very happy liao. Aiya, I really nothing better to do this hols la… so write this up. Den I realize that I’ve been a very very bad girl all these while. LMAO… 😛 Aiya, wud to do la, this world is full of bad ppl… I’m just one of them. LOL.

    Dreamkid, I dun believe Santa just drink milk onli… he live in North Pole wud? Sure the man got take alcohol wan… LOL… if not how to keep his body warm?

    Kikey…. ahahahah… Santa would tink I’m a crazy chick after reading my letter. LMAO.

  4. Kellaw says:

    Lol. You know what happens to greedy kids?

    Read Hansel and Gretel story again

    Do tell us if you get that check he issues so I can send him a letter next year. Else you can always get your husband to write you one with Zimbabwe dollars(that’s around RM3,179.44 which is still a lot I guess).

  5. calvin says:

    hahahaha…good one. but since you were naughty, dont you think santa will give you a spank instead of awarding you with gifts..lol. all i want for xmas is a new malaysia…..change all those shitty politicians that gave us crap all year long, maybe turn them into reindeers. 😛

  6. calvin says:

    hahahahaha…..clef, a middle aged indian lady…..wakakakaka. cannot imagine. good one chris……lmao. cant stop laughing….aiyo, stomach cramp already.

  7. Bridge says:

    Cleffairy… I didn’t know you are 24 too. We’re of the same age. I just turned 24 last Oct 24. Anyway, your letter to Santa is a bit funny. Talk about pyrmaid scheme in your company, haha! this must be a joke. otherwise, you wouldn’t disclose it on the net. Haha!

  8. amoker says:

    I think Cleff deserves a spanking for this funny letter to Santa. haha.

    I do however want to find out more about your slutting boss. kekek.

    Ah, too bad i dun believe in Santa Claus. Blessed Christmas Cleff . I got my friend to bake some Gingerbread for my office birthday gift and my farewell gift. kekek

  9. ahfu says:

    how if santa only arranged you a date with FuFu?? will be satisfied enough though not bling bling jewelries, clothes, ticket to venice…. lol

  10. cleffairy says:

    Kellaw…welcome to my blog. So nice to see you here. Hansel and Gretel ahh? The greedy bro and sis… not bad lah, they kick butt in the end. LMAO…. the witch was thrown in the oven by Gretel… not bad,not bad, I wanna be like her! *sigh* Santa dun care about me lah… lol… these days economic depression, I think Santa also needs to save money. LMAO. Ask my husband for money ah? I’ll be dreaming la… lmao… wait til he tells me to wake up and stop dreaming. 😛 *sigh* these days, money are hard to come by.

    Chris
    … I just turn 24 a couple of month ago… lmao… 24 for me not young lerr… a lot of people who are 24 achieve better than me. 😛 *sigh* middle age Indian lady? I wish I’m a middle age Indian lady lorr… if I’m one, den I wouldn’t have to worry about Xmas and Chinese New Year. Really sway you kno, CNY really suck my pocket wan, need to give angpow…need to buy visiting goodies… huhuhuhuhu! Damn ah, middle age Indian lady…ahahaha… I must sound ancient in my writings. 😛 But, oh, well, that’s not the worst I heard, some thought I’m well into my forties. SIGH!

    Calvin, na uh! Santa wouldn’t even dare of spanking me. Why? Because my husband keep a shotgun under the bed. He will shoot Santa before he could even come near me. Whahahaha…. Actually, what I really want for Xmas is a prosperous country, better life for everyone, freedom of speech, more respect for women, and no discrimination. Those things that I want, is something that something that no one could give, but things that everyone have to make an effort to achieve. *groan* I can all but dream!

    Bridge… this is long overdue, but happy belated birthday. LOL. I just turn 24 on 2nd Sept this year. LOL. The rest is a joke, but I really want the $$ LMAO. (I’m one greedy chick!)

    Amoker… sigh… my slutting boss and colleague… really an eyesore. if you read my earlier post, HERE you would know that I had to endure ppl watching porn in office during lunch. Thank God that bitch watch less porn in office now. *growl*

    FuFu… lol… sure, I’ll be happy enough to yumcha with you. LOL 😛 Despite of my rants, i’m actually easy to please… 😛

  11. kellaw says:

    Recession hit north pole already. Santa’s factory has to fire most of the eleves and this year they only have the time to create several presents. For jesus and god only. The others don’t get any due to the financial crackdown. hahaha.

    I think the check he is sending you in zimbabwe dollars is going to bounce too. lol.

    Simple solution to “extort” money from your husband. –> Kick him off the bed every night pretending to be sleep “kicking” while yelling “Money ah!” See what happens next

  12. KevinP says:

    24 nia ah? Anyway, Satan Claus will give you a few pressies this Christmas… he will loot your house, drink your wine.

    Please no milk as Satan Claus drinks only the best wines.. milk gives him “rashes”. Ensure that you stock up! Otherwise…

    And you think Satan Claus will write you a cheque?

  13. amoker says:

    Ewww… i read the story about the lady who watches porn in the office. Hemm.. can’t really put any thoughts into that. I would say .. rather abnormal.

    So, now i know the link between your boss and this lady. I must say, between a rock and a hard place. And the hard place ain’t your bosses’ *****

  14. cleffairy says:

    Kellaw, lol… of course recession hit North pole already! LOL. Recession is everywhere! Not only Santa have to fire the elves and the toymakers, he also cannot deliver those toys, even if he want too, because he wants to save up on the gas for his sledge. Muahahaha. I have no doubt that the cheque will bounce. Ahahaha… aiyo, recession also hit home la, it’s not easy to extort money from my husband either. I have to work my butt off for money. No easy money, no free lunch. Hmmm… of course there’s always daddy dearest. I wonder if i can extort money from my dad. He still treats me like a lil girl. LMAO.

    Kevin
    , 24 nia lah. LOL… well, Aunt iris would have you believe that I’m 35++ ahahaha… she initially thought so. If there’s someone who dressed up as Santa Clause, invading my house, that feller definitely wun survive. LOL. I never believed in Santa, actually. Knew he’s a fake since I was in kindy. The first Santa Claus that I saw is a black woman-who happens to be my kindergarten teacher. WTF! Ruin the image lah!

    Seng ah, my didi… go ask her out lorr… kekekeke… belanja jie eat la, jie hungry! 😛

    Amoker.. she’s really abnormal, but she attract men to her like moth to the flames. I’m kinda nerd looking-I dun dress up and stuff, so I’m always the victim of her piling works.(she’s my senior at work). She’s still doing it these days, but a lot more less than before, thank God for that.

  15. kellaw says:

    Daddy will tell you at the doorstep before you even start to open your mouth that “Dear, You know what? I am glad you are married now because you no longer need to get money from home as we barely had enough for me and mum”. I thought he no need buy gas already?
    Last I heard he pawned his sledge.(go read my latest post) Try my way with your husband see if it works. You should get a guy to settle your office problem(your senior). Makes things so much easier if the guy is related(eg your didi here lol).

  16. cleffairy says:

    Kellaw, actually he wun. My dad earn more than enough to spoil and pamper my mom and my younger sis…and he’s still thinking about investing in real estatHe’ll ignore my embarrassed whining. I’m all grown up, and he still wants to dress me up. Huhuhuhu.

    LOL. He had once told me that he felt that his little girls grew up too fast that he did not get the chance to pamper us. (cuz when he was younger, he was pretty much a scholar, so he din get to spoil me and my sis with material stuff)*sigh* Me and my sis are pretty much daddy’s spoil brats when we grow up. To tell you the truth, I actually enjoyed being pampered once in a while, but I do feel bad so i try to avoid him from giving me $$ (yeah, he still gives me $$ when he visits me!)… ahahaha… but what the heck la… my dad loves to pamper, and even if it kills my conscience, I allowed it, because it makes my dad happy. LOL.

    My didi? Points up^ Seng is my online didi, a chef. The only thing he could do is probably chop and cook the bitch, nothing more than that. LOL.

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