It was 3rd day of Chinese new year. My family and I are supposed to head back to KL, but because my husband needs to meet his friend who came from KL back in his hometown, we had to postpone our journey back to KL a little bit. Oh well, not much I can do there.
My husband asked me if I wanted to follow him to meet this friend. Gee…isn’t that nice and thoughtful of him? But then again, once bitten twice shy. I don’t exactly agree with people who is cocky and have the ego that can compete with the Everest. I also do not sit well with the idea that this feller had somehow accused my son for being a rude little bastard for not having eye contact with him when he spoke to my son.
So, I did not follow him to meet his friend. Instead, I ended up going to McD playland with my boy for a couple of hours while my husband went to have a drink or two with his friend somewhere else in town.
Waiting for a couple of hours in McD playland may not be so appealing to others, but I wasn’t not sure if I can be civil and polite if I were to sit at the same table with my husband’s friend.
You see, I can still recall that this feller told my husband that the boy ought to be slapped for not having eye contact with peopleÂ when he is spoken to not long ago.
Imagine that. This feller barely knew me. I bet he did not even know my name (he didn’t bother asking my name, and my husband does not exactly make a habit of introducing me to his friends either), and yet…he made loads of remarks as if he had known me and my son for ages.
Just because you’re older, buster, that does not mean I will think you’re right and smarter than me or anyone else in the world for that matter. In fact, I don’t exactly respect elders unless they really deserves to be respected either. For some, respect must be earned, not just given.
I think, the man did not know that I actually understood the language that he spoke to my husband and a group of young lads who are still unmarried. Good Lord… just because I do not speak any Chinese dialect it does not mean that I don’t understand what people are saying.
You see… my son is not your regular kid. He’s an ADHD child with mild Asperger. Which means… eye contact when strangers speak to him is absolutely out of question. That does not make him rude or dumb.
It merely means that he is listening without looking at you. This does not mean he is a good for nothing or a retard either. My boy may lack social skills, but if you see him play piano, you would be really amazed. He could play by hearing. One skill I think not many posses. (Yours truly included… she’s musically illiterate)
Ask any medical practitioners and they would tell you the same thing. Such children do not make eye contact when they’re spoken to unless they are really familiar with the one who are speaking to them.
What the hell is wrong with all these people? They accuse people’s kid for being rude and yet they don’t exactly demonstrate absolute politeness either. If they are polite, would they make nasty remarks even when my husband and I was there and behaved as if they know all? Civilized people too, do not just let their wives picks up after their mess while they yak and yak with their friends merrily after binging at their kid’s birthday party either.*insert expletive of choice*
Anyway, I did my part and inform this feller that my son is a special child and has ADHD and why he behaves the way he did, and why he will not make eye contact with people when he’s spoken to.
My husband may feel uncomfortable explaining to all ofÂ his friends about the boy’s condition, but I’m not exactly a patient person who feel ashamed of they boy’s condition. He’s born that way and therefore, I don’t see any harm in letting people know about it. And if people can’t accept him the way he is, then I too, cannot accept suchÂ people, and I think I am better off without their existence in my life. They boy and I are one package. If you can’t accept either one, you can go to hell.
I feel offended when people implied openly that my husband and I failed to make the boy communicate properly with others with eye contact, especially after I explained the whole story to them.Â Who are you to imply such a thing when you are not quite a parent yourself? Do you have any kids that’s my son’s age? Did you take care of your kids yourself or you just sub the job to other-say, your in laws, babysitters, nannies? Did you or did you not participate in parenting or just let your wife do all the dirty work?
I’m a fighter, always have been, and if you insult me or any member of my family, don’t you dare expect me to sit there and smile and say nothing. I’m not a timid mouse who will not speak for myself, or for my family if the situation calls for it.
Anyway, in the end, my attempt to educate ignorant people has gone awry, as the group of gossiping men seems to think that the boy behaves that way because of my poor parenting skill even after extensive explaining on my part. *snort* Fine, then. I hope they somehow ended up with a special child or two too. Perhaps then they would understand what I was talking about.
My son’s social skill is horrible, that is a fact. But I think mine is much more worst than his, for I’m allergic to cocky, boastful and ignorant people who does not listen to what others have to say. So yea… even if they are my husband’s acquaintance… I’m gonna avoid them like a plague.
Cleffairy: It takes a lot to finally believe that not everything is my fault though a lot of people in my life attempts to make me feel that way. It takes a lotÂ of encouragement and assurance from Mamarazzi, Claire, Ling, Cyn and STP’s to make me feel that it is okay that I have a special child. They made me believe that God gave him to me because He knows that I am capable of handling such a child.Â How in the world I can thank them for all these kind assurance, is beyond me for not everyone is like them. I thank God everyday for having them in my life, for they may not realize it, but they did make a lot of difference in my life, and also my son’s life.