The meaning of merdeka…

Happy 52nd Independence Malaysia…well…make that belated Happy Independence Day Malaysia from me. I’m late one day in wishing every single Malaysian a happy independence day. Pardon me, folks. I don’t feel ‘merdeka’ at the moment, hence, the lack of greetings to all of you.

Instead of feeling liberated on 31st August 2009 like I was supposed to feel, I feel trapped and oppressed for many reasons that many think invalid but valid only to myself. So much for merdeka this year. I won’t lie or bluff you about how I feel about this year’s merdeka, because that will only mean lying to myself.

I feel trapped because this year on merdeka day, I have to thread carefully cuz people are looking for my faults. Anything wrong, KABOOM… there goes my bloody ear.

I have to endure lectures on things that I’m not so fond of, I don’t get enough bloody sleep-barely slept a wink til this moment… I can’t eat til I’m satisfied and got so fucking tired and yet so restless because trouble seems to scream to my face each time I tried to even sleep a wink so please forgive me for any grammatical errors.

I could not do things that usually eases me. In my own goddamn home. So much for merdeka…and man, I don’t even dare to eat things anytime and anywhere I like at home too. So much for merdeka, eh? Merdeka comes a few days late for me this year, I suppose.

I’ve expected this. I’ve even imagined the predicament that I’m being put in, but I did not realize it will slam me so soon.

That Big Guy from Above must be pissed off with me about all the evil things I’ve done to make me suffer like this. There you go folks… one great lesson to learn…never ever make God pissed off at you, else, you’ll eat poo for a couple of days or worst, years.

Cleffairy: Sorry if my entry this time does not make any sense…though I did not feel like celebrating anything this year, I do hope all of you had a good long weekend with your loved ones. Last but not least Happy(belated) 52nd Independence Day, Malaysia!

5 comments

  1. Zara says:

    Same goes to me~
    Nothing to be really keen on, but I do wrote some in my BM’s blog. BTW darling, happy birthday to u in advance!!

  2. Pauline Perfectionista says:

    Don’t fret about Merdeka anymore because you’ve got a waaaay more important date to commemorate…

    HAPPY BIRTHDAY LIZ! *sends a hug over* =)

    Oh wait, I just re-read my blog archives from my last birthday and you said (quote-unquote): OMG, you’re older than me now. *grinZ*

    I wouldn’t miss the only-once-per-year opportunity for payback, so here goes… Liz, now you’re as old as meee! 😛

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