Two of my favourite blogging buddies today talks about relationship. Or rather sex and marriage. Calvin talks about marriage. Pete talks about some sex potion that can make you as ‘strong as Superman’. Both gave me good laugh and good insight.
I think I should join in the fun, but being a rather contrary person, I’ll delve into a more depressing topic. I’ll talk about relationship, yes, but be forewarned, I think mine will not be as funny or as pleasant as Pete or Calvin’s.
All right, here goes nothing. I know this is pretty outdated, but I’ve watched the movie called ‘The Notebook’ adapted from a novel of the same name. I don’t want to give spoilers to the movie or the novel, but a certain issue that has been brought up by The Notebook sometimes makes me shudder.
I know a lot of hopeless romantics out there took vows that they will be together with their spouse til death do them apart, or for as long as they both shall live, but in modern world, marriage seems to be disposable. Divorce happens, separation and disagreements happens too. Let’s face it, marriage may not be made of porcelains, but they are breakable if one do not make an effort to make a marriage work. Sometimes, not even children could keep marriage intact.
However, The Notebook did not bring up the issues like divorce and seperation, and yet it still made my eyes misted and makes me ponder deeply. No shits, it made me broke into a sobby mess. The question that the story brought up is this: How far could you go on loving someone? Could you go on loving someone who forgets you, not by choice but by sickness? Would you go on loving and living with your husband or wife if he or she forgets about you and had no idea who you are? Would you really be with your spouse in sickness, or you decided that its too painful to go on loving someone who is invalid, aging, couldn’t take care of themselves and could not even remember who you are?
In The Notebook, the wife of the protagonist was aging and could not remember her husband or even her children. The children took an easy way out because they have their own life and refuse to go through the pain of taking care of their invalid mother. They sent their mother to the old folks home, and let her be.
The husband of this lady, however loves her too much to let go of her, and so, he admitted himself into the old folks home and patiently tries to gets his wife to remember him by reading to her the story of their love when they were young. When she did not manage to remember him despite of his persistence, he did not walk away the way his children did. His love for her transcended memories that they had together, and he builds a new relationship with her as her elderly companion in the old folks home. Miraculously, in the end, the wife remembers him, and they were found dead on the bed together, holding hands.
I wonder. I truly wonder if my husband would love me enough that his love would transcend time and memories that we had together when I’m old, invalid and senile? Would he love me enough? When I thought of this, I wondered too, if I will be strong enough to face the fact that my husband had no idea who I was during the golden age. God forbids, but what if such things happen? Will I be strong enough? I honestly can’t say, because I am not sure if I can handle the agony of loving someone who don’t even remember who I was and what we had together. I myself tried to explore this issue in my own novel in progress, and though I’m certain that I will go on loving my husband if it’s fated that he will be senile in his older years, but I am not sure how I could deal with the pain of it.
I suppose, the most trying part of marriage is not really during the younger years, but the older years. Though you have live happily together with your spouse during the younger years the situation that truly will try the vows that you made during your wedding day will be time time of old age and the time of sickness. Dementia, Parkinson disease, cancer, and many more will be the ones that will tempt you to turn away from your ‘For better or worst, in sickness or in health’ vows.
I pray to God, and whatever power that’s above me that if it’s fated one day my husband and I be put in the same situation as the characters in the Notebook, my husband and will be blessed with enough strength, patience and kindness to face our unfortunate predicament.
I too, pray for all of you couples out there that your relationship will transcend time and memories and your love for each other will be everlasting.
The Notebook is not really for the lighthearted, or a person with a dam for eyes, but it is a good movie and a good novel to read. Below is the trailer for The Notebook, if you guys are interested to know how the issue was depicted into a beautiful romance.
You can watch the full movie HERE
If anyone of you are interested in reading the novel, kindly drop me a line or two at [email protected], and i’ll send the novel in pdf. file to you.
Cleffairy: Til death do us apart, and for as long as we both shall live is serious matter. It will not be easy to achieve. It takes more than love and courage to live up to our wedding vows.
ps: I love my husband more than money, ice cream and sex. Will that be enough? Anyway, guys, on the lighter note, this is my 200th article entry. LOL. I may have cheated with some unoriginal entries that originates from my email, but then again, what the heck, i didn’t celebrate my 100th article posting, so I’m gonna celebrate this one over a cuppa tea. LMAO.