When the kaypochees ask you…

The dreaded time of the year will be here again. Most of us married ladies hates this time of the year. What time of the year, you ask me? Well, Chinese New Year, of course. You might not know this, but the fact is not many of us wives adore Chinese New Year to bits, especially if you’re celebrating it. Most of us are only pretending to like it so that we don’t have to ruin the husbands’ and the kids’ festive moods.

Most of us dreaded it not because we’re stingy on the angpow part, but because of the shrewdness, busybody-ness and also the boastfulness of our elder female counterpart. Read: The rampaging outlaws, momster in laws… you name it.

They just can’t seems to mind their own business and affairs, and they seems to be extremely happy when they manage to make you wash your dirty linen in public. *sigh* CNY= Boasting marathon and gossiping galore.

We… the younger, digital generation ladies can’t seems to escape the claws of our outlaws, and they tend to ask you loads of questions during times where you can’t possibly escape: eg: meal time, car pool time, mahjong or poker session…

Timeless and evergreen questions are often asked during those times, and it’s like most ladies, I find it annoyingly inescapable.

Below are some of the evergreen questions asked by those overly ‘concern outlaws’:

If you’re in your 20s and single

1. You’re still single? No boyfriend?

2.When are you going to bring back your boyfriend and introduce to the family?

3. Why don’t want to get married yet? When I was your age, I already had 3 kids!

4. When are you getting married?

And when you’re married and still childless,below is the common embarrassing and very personal questions asked during meal time, car pool time or even mahjong sessions:

1. When are you having kids?

2. You’ve been married for quite some times now, why aren’t you pregnant yet?

3. Are you by any chance using contraceptives? You know, condoms… Pills… you shouldn’t use use those if you want to have children, you know?

4. Did you know that certain sex position and certain dates can encourage the conception of a baby boy?

I don’t fall under the single and the married but childless category, thank God. But I fall under the category where:

Married, with one son, and more often than not, the outlaws and the overly concerned relatives will ask me these questions:

1. When are you having a second baby?

2. One child is enough for you? Just one son? Don’t you want a daughter? Or maybe another son? Your boy looks lonely, it’s time to get him a sibling!

3. Why are you so skinny? You can’t get pregnant if you’re too skinny!

4. Are you and your husband using condoms? Why no more babies from you both? You’re taking the Pills, aren’t you? I know your husband is dying for another baby!

5. You do know the best dates and the best position to conceive, don’t you?

*SIGH* (Breathe in, breathe out, breathe in, breathe out, all right, I’m okay now!) I’m getting tired of having asked these questions that’s certainly invading my privacy over and over again year after year (grrr, I wish I can sue them for invasion of privacy… easy money!), and therefore, instead of trying to shy away from their questions this year, I’m going to tell them that I’m planning for a pregnancy this year.

In fact, I’ll probably inform all these broadcasters and announcers wannabe be that I’m planning for a baby this year. In fact, I’m going to exaggerate abit and tell that I’ve been going to those fertility clinics with my husband cuz his sperm are lazy swimmers cuz all of the cigs he’s been inhaling and I’m actually planning for twins. *GRRRR*

As they say, can’t beat them, then you might as well join them. Call it a reverse psychology technique. They work pretty well most of the times anyway. (if you wanna use my idea, kindly do some research… eg, fertility clinics, and how much In Vitro Fertilization costs)


Cleffairy: You know… sometimes, there are some people in our life that we certainly can do WITHOUT! When they die… I won’t exactly say I feel nothing… I’d say I feel relieved instead! Yea… I’m cruel, heartless… you can say that, but at least I am not a hypocrite! *show middle finger!*

12 comments

    • Cleffairy says:

      I dun do large gatherings… the largest is our balik kampung session lo… the most oso mamarazzi will tease me that I’m pregnant oni… but she actually knows I’m not punya… besides… mamarazzi and the gang tarak ask me about my sex life lehhh… cisss~

  1. MRC says:

    Ermm at least you’re honest with your feeling but try enjoy lah festive season – I got no holidays – got to work but try think positively in every situation before you “murder” others & yourself

    • Cleffairy says:

      I’d trade place with you in a heartbeat if I could. I can do work…I mean, work, I can handle. Emotional blackmail? Not quite. My IQ is always higher than my EQ, unfortunately.

  2. MRC says:

    Oh ok now i think i get what you mean by when u trade place with me – some kind of “crisis” going on within your life, is it? – Ermmm being single & married each got it’s pro & cons – Do not let the momentarily unhappiness with certain something / person makes you jump to a quick conclusion however – I think whether single or married or in dating state :each need to try count their blessings :p

  3. AngeLBeaR says:

    part of the reason why I don’t really like to attend any kind of family gatherings – weddings, CNY, annual family gatherings, funerals included!!!…as long as it doesn’t related to my family….not that I hate them..but it’s just that some of them really got unto my nerves…

    one time, it really worked though…a busybody uncle (yes, uncle!) had this habit of keep on asking me the same question whenever he saw me in any of the weddings and gatherings “so, when it’s gonna be your turn then?”. Then one day it was a funeral of a family member when he spotted me with my then newly married brother and asked the same question. Guess what, after the deceased had been buried, he stood beside me by the grave and I nudged him, point at the grave and asked (with my 10 cent face) “So, when it’s gonna be YOUR TURN then?”

    The list goes on and on….but then again, it’s best to avoid from meeting them by not attending, at all….uhuhuhu…..this year’s CNY? I’m off somewhere else.

    • Cleffairy says:

      Exactly my sentiment… the ‘when is your turn’ or ‘why like this’ why like that’ really do get on my nerves too, and makes me feel like exploding. Unfortunately for me… my husband is such a filiar son and too respect the elders… he wouldn’t even raise his voice to them, while for me… let’s just say that I’m the kind ‘once bitten, twice shy’. You ask me nonsense… I’d retaliate.

  4. Jeremin says:

    i understand how it feel. I got big extended family members. Every year keep asking those qns to me. Sian.

    Hey, are u really telling them that u plan to get a baby next yr. Wait till very next yr and they will keep asking why still dun have. They will sure arrow u hard. =(

    Think hard what u answer or else u mayb get bombard back the year after

    • Cleffairy says:

      I hope they die oredi lo, next year… if yet to die… den next year I drama abit… take out hankie, and start to cry… say… “Aiyo… hubby kenot stand up liao!”

  5. goldflower86 says:

    hahahahaha.make me laugh with your last comment… they all drop dead if u say that. go indulge urself darling… and forget them turn deaf to them. heheheh

Comments are closed.