At times like this…

May 2011 was like a roller-coaster ride. There’s ups, and there’s downs. It made me want to scream out of disappointment, frustration, horror, and many more negative emotions.

But as they say, life goes on, and I shall have to persevere, cuz for what it’s worth, I cannot change the world and the people in it. I can only change myself, and therefore, I shall have to take the world as it is, and not as how I wants it to be.

It’s been hard. Life is getting rather stressful and difficult to handle. Work, especially is rather overwhelming. It’s piling, and I’m getting backaches and merely 4 hours of sleep every day.

I know I shouldn’t complain for I am still lucky to have a roof over my head and warm dishes on my table and not to mention loving family and wonderful friends who would cheer me on and give me moral support unconditionally. I am forever grateful. And I am indeed very blessed in so many ways that I never thought possible.

But at times like this, I get rather wistful. I wish I’m still living by the seaside where I could take pleasure in the simplest thing like sitting on the soft, sandy beach while watching the sunset as the gentle breeze caresses me and my worries and the burden of the world… would slowly melt away from my tiny shoulder.

At times like this, I wish for a Clark Kent of my own. (I have the hots for Clark Kent a.k.a Superman. Bear with me.) A superhero in his own rights…an investigative reporter who reveals truth to the world with his writing and whose alter ego stood for nothing but justice.

And at times like this, I wish that my life could be as simple as it used to be. But then again, that is just wishful thinking. I could not perform any magic or time travel and therefore, my life could never be like what it used to be, and at the end of the day…before I go to sleep, whether I like it or not, I have to be honest with myself and accept the fact that Superman won’t fly to me when I call for help, and Batman wouldn’t come to my aid when I put up the Batman call sign. Spiderman’s spider sense wouldn’t tingle either when my enemy is about to gut me mercilessly.

I have to be my own hero. If I want to be saved, I shall have to save myself, and and while there’s no chance of me changing changing the world, I still can make my own history by simply being me and persevering. i must do what I’m good at, and make use fully of what God gave me.

And before I close my eyes and go to sleep, I have to forgive the world for being harsh and forgive myself for all the mistakes and for all of my foolishness. Only by forgiving myself…I shall be able to live with myself and move on.

Cleffairy:  One should not blame others when they are at fault themselves.We’re just human. We’re not perfect. We make mistakes, and while we don’t forget, we ought to try to forgive and move on and try not to make the same mistakes again in the future. It’s hard and always easier said than done, but it’s what we must do. It’s the only way we learn to be a better version of ourselves, is it not?

4 comments

    • Cleffairy says:

      So we got to make our skin calluse and lie in the bed of roses… and smell all the fragrance that’s coming out of them. πŸ˜€

  1. MRC says:

    Kinda emphatic on feeling of being your own savior & to run away from things or everyone sometimes. Suggestion : Buy a private island LOL

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