Cleffairy Returns: The Reunion Dinner 1

Yes, yes, yes! Finally, I am back to where I belonged. At home in Kuala Lumpur. I’ll still be busy with family matters though… at least until 20th February 2010, so please excuse me if I don’t to visit your blog and leave my footsteps there. I’m still struggling to get back to my routine.

It’s been a hell of a week, and I’m thanking God for sending me His angels to protect me all the way when I was away from the safety of my home.

There is not much fun things to tell about my experience during Chinese New Year. More or less, it is just the same, and it is something that I just endure for the sake of peace. And I did not do anything special besides stuff my face with food and rot in the room.

You see… I’ve always resent Chinese New Year, because it is no fun. Yes, no fun at all cuz I don’t really like to mingle with people whom I don’t know well and not really fond of. I bet the feelings is mutual. They don’t like me, and I don’t like them. And the fact will remain the same til the end of time. Truthfully, I don’t hate Chinese New Year that much. It is the bad company that makes me annoyed with the entire thing.

Anyway, if you are expecting me to put up the food that I had for reunion dinner, I’m sorry. There won’t be any. Why? Firstly, because I did not bother snapping those photos up when I was in my MIL’s house.

Blogger or not… I don’t think I can be bothered snapping photos up when everyone is more than eager to make acquaintance with the food and get it over with more than anything else. Besides, I didn’t think the old lady would approve me snapping pictures, anyway. I would know if she approved of it, cuz my elder brother in law, who loves snapping up pictures during dinner or family occasion, didn’t even take out his handphone to capture the moment.

Second reason is  that I wasn’t in the mood to really snap pictures during the reunion dinner as I was reprimanded by my husband for not helping to bring food out from the kitchen. Well, excuse me… it’s not that I didn’t want to help out, but I was chased out of the kitchen by my MIL. She told me not to stay inside the kitchen and so, whether I like it or not, I had to get out of the damned place.

Probably she knew that I’ll be reprimanded and chided by my hubby for not helping, I suppose. Anyway, seeing what happened in the kitchen, my sister in law told me to go out and help her to take care of her two boys. And I did just that, and went out to play with the kids, earning some nasty glare of disapproval from him for not helping out despite my attempt to tell him that I was kicked out of the kitchen and was told by my sister in law to stay outside and take care of the kids. I wasn’t sure why my husband did not know that I was chased out, cuz as far as I’m concern, he was around the vicinity of the kitchen.

I got fed up, cuz I kinda expected this sort of mood killing thing to happen and I silently pray to God that I’ll be given the patience to deal with the erupting volcano within.

Reunion dinner became an event that is not fun, and not relaxing. I had to be mindful of what I do. I was tired from the long journey and my mood and appetite was definitely killed. I wanted to eat faster, and I had to ‘zonk’ out, ignoring every nagging, uneasiness and whatnots at the table.

I was praying hard that it’ll be over soon, and nothing would go wrong at the table again, or I’ll probably explode later on, and neighbours would have some nice show to watch, cuz there was no curtain installed in husband’s room in his hometown. Don’t ask me why there’s no curtain. I don’t know.

Thank God for my elder brother in law, though. He made the reunion dinner tolerable for me. He made small talks and happy conversation that momentarily made me forget about the uneasiness moments before, and keep putting some food that he thinks that I might like into my plate.

My spirit was lifted a bit, and I started to chat with brother in law and took some food for him in return, and for the first time during dinner at MIL’s place, I felt that someone is actually doing something to keep the situation under control instead of allowing the whole event turning into a full scale fault-finding scenario. In some ways, I felt that my brother in law was there in my FIL ‘s place to keep things from going out of hand.

My FIL wasn’t there, because he’s no longer living with my MIL, and I am looking forward to the reunion dinner that he hosted, cuz it’s always fun and more relaxing in comparison to MIL’s. Maybe it is just me… but it doesn’t matter where or when, I still remain a daddy’s girl, so I tend to be fond of the elder male in the family, especially my FIL.

When I spend time with my FIL, I feel that I’ve been spending time with my own father, simply because he make conversation with me instead of finding faults, and therefore, make me feel at ease spending time with him. Anyway, for what it’s worth, I am pretty easy to pleased. As long as I’m fed with desserts like ice cream or food for carnivore, my heart is theirs. And my FIL did just that. πŸ˜€

Anyway, back to the dinner. Thank God there was no extended drama after the dinner. I finished my food first and took my plate in the kitchen to wash it. My sister in law probably knew that I wasn’t amused with the earlier incident where I was reprimanded by my husband for not helping out in the kitchen, so when I was washing my plate, she piled up the dirty plates for me to wash and chatted with me while I do the chores, and soon after I’ve done the dishes, I was rewarded with dessert by my brother in law. πŸ˜€ He proffered me a bowl of longan dessert and I quietly and happily drank it away soon after while my husband chatted with his mother at the living room.

When everything was cleared from the table and dishes were done, I chatted with my sister in law and brother in law, and as usual, like the years before, they will take their leave to spend overnight at sister in law’s parents’ house until their holiday is over, and after they left, my husband claimed fatigue and we dashed upstairs to rest until morning.Yep, people… curfew. From 8.30 til 11.00am the next day.

I used to wonder why my brother in law never overnighted in his own mother’s house, but I no longer wonder why, because I know that sometimes, one had to so in order to stop war from erupting and ruin the good relationship that one had with the elders. Sometimes, it is not easy to live under one roof with others, especially when one practiced different style of living. It is harder still when the elders wants things to be done their way and reprimanded us each time they opened their mouth to speak when we’re already adults and have family of our own. You see…things like this… ruin our respect and good relationship that we have with the elders. So it is better to avoid such things.

I did not understand back then, but I now see my brother in law as a smart man, who knows how to keep peace, and I have a lot to learn from him, and people who have a family of their own, should learn from my brother in law on how to protect their own family and keep peace with each others;which is avoid, avoid and avoid the elders and not courting problems by trying too hard to please them with what you do. Extreme, yes, but it works.

Cleffairy: Thank you God, for gracing me with the presence of Your angels to comfort me and when I was disheartened.

33 comments

    • Cleffairy says:

      Thank God… finally it’s over… well…at least for now. LOL…there will be more in the future, but then, I’ll deal wif it when the time comes.

  1. Annie Q says:

    Gong Xi Fa Cai!!!

    Happy to hear that you back in one piece and this round at least consider is a “better” chinese new year for you, at least not so bad? God sent angels to protect you and make you happy, your brother in law is god sent angels. πŸ˜€

    • Cleffairy says:

      LOL… Happy growling year and happy belated V-day, Annie. *grinZ*. Yes, thank God I’m back in one piece and not in pieces. Not as bad as last year… I wasn’t so…I dunno… what you call it? I wasn’t so smart last year. LOL… I am smarter this year, and BIL and SIL was there with me all the way. Yep… BIL was my guardian angel. Ahahahahah! Kept me in one piece. Hmm… I have much to learn from the duo! LOL…

    • Cleffairy says:

      I was really lucky that they were looking out for me while the rest of the world was oblivious that I wasn’t amuse with the happenings and ignored how I felt. I’m a civilized person, Jen. If people dun hurt me, I wun hurt them. And to me, respect must be earned, not demanded. Elders or not…respect must be earned… don’t you agree?

  2. CHVoon says:

    agree with you.

    it is not easy to live with people under the same roof.

    tolerate must applied else…. War world 4 will happen!

    it is not easy to control other people’s thought… but easy to control our temper…

    i feel bit lucky that my MIL and FIL are very good to me…feel easy a bit to finish all the dishes in my stomach!

    I DONT LIKE WAR!!!!

    • Cleffairy says:

      Glad someone here agrees with me. It is not easy to live under the same roof with other people, especially when they practiced different ways of life, and different kind of diet. Harder still is when it is hard to make people understand that one cannot change others according to their liking. For me… like my brother and sister in law, I prefer not to court trouble. It is better to avoid trouble than to deal with it. It simply gives me headache and heartaches.

      *sigh* One’s patience and tolerance have limit. I think if a dog is bashed repeatedly by it’s master non-stop, the dog wouldn’t hesitate to bite and bark the master. Same goes with human. We can try to tolerate, and keep our temper in check, but our patience have limit too. We are human, after all. We cannot take too much, can we? We tend to explode when things really gets out of hand and when things really test our patience.

      Give thanks to God that your parents in law are good and civilized to you, Voon.Not everyone is as lucky as that.Some are really fault finders and not the easiest people to deal with.

      I don’t like war too… people… get hurt during the battle before the war is finally come to an end.

      Anyway, I ought to count my blessing. There’s not many people in my hubby’s family that I can deal with, but I am blessed enough to have a father in law who is well educated and civilized, and a brother in law and sister in law who knows how to keep peace in their own way.

      • CHVoon says:

        wah… you reply quite long sentences.. (lucky i have come back to reply the comment again πŸ™‚ )

        You are english education or chinese education? i guess is english gua

        You are brave girl! Keep it on.

        Agree with you again that everyone have a limit – me too πŸ™‚ (if my limit over, maybe u can see me transformer to a dinosaur gua)

    • Cleffairy says:

      Yes, thank God for that. I must give thanks. πŸ˜€ I am not quite sure how I would feel if brother in law and sister in law was there to help to reduce my tense.

    • Cleffairy says:

      Yes… back in one piece and not in pieces… thank God for that. LOL…and thank God for those who prayed that I’ll be safe! LOL…their prayers must have saved me too! LOL…

  3. suituapui says:

    Aiyor…if Chinese New Year so terrible, how to have a good year like that? Must be happy one!!!

    Btw, where’s FIL? Why all gather at MIL’s…and not go over to FIL’s? Father mah!

    What has your hubby got to say about all this? Sure he can say – go some place else for holiday, no need to go back to MIL. We used to do that all the time… No need to celebrate, stay in hotel goyang kaki – eat and sleep only! Like that, baru enjoy CNY!!!

    • Cleffairy says:

      LOL… FIL? FIL left MIL ma…he doesn’t live with MIL. He live with another wife. You know, old chinaman… last time they got a lot of wives wan. Never divorce and yet take another woman as wife.

      My FIL got another wife. Live with the other family, doesn’t live with MIL, so he celebrated CNY in KL here, not in hometown, cuz the other wife live in KL. LOL…he also have other children from my other MIL, so spend time with them lorr.

      Fuiyooo, if can have dinner at FIL, sure damn syiok, cuz it would mean nonid to balik kampung, as only have dinner, chit chat, den can pat buttocks and leave d. LOL…FIL is that kind. Short gatherings, den he will cabut d. the most oso 2 hours only. LOL… Ahahahahaha!

      Well…I am not sure why never have dinner with FIL every year during the eve. FIL oso dowan to go back ma, cannot force him. I suppose there’s nothing left for him to go back to. Everyone is already in KL, except for MIL.*grinZ*

      My hubby and my BIL had no choice but to go back at mother’s place, I guess…wait we spend time with FIL during CNY, perang will meletus cuz she wun be happy oso lerr, we spend time with another ‘mother’ and not her.

      Geez…both BIL and hubby oso wun dare say dowan to go back to MIL’s place and spend it elsewhere lerr…die die oso must go back. Been a tradition in their family. Wait havoc later if never go back, whole family will condemned us if we dun go back. Will say us dun gv face lah, not fillial lah, this lah, that la… susah. It is hard to please everyone isn’t it? Everything is about face. πŸ™ Some people need to give face because they want face. If it’s up to me…I wouldn’t give a damn about what people say wan, cuz I know, in order to make yourself happy, one would have to make others unhappy.

      What to do…for me, I just pray that everything will go smoothly without any mishaps only. And believed me, I prayed so hard during the entire time. LOL…

  4. Bananaz says:

    Glad to hear you are OK despite some uneventful minor faults which is quite common when comes to the kitchen. Can understand and empathize with you living in a typical Chinaman family and situation got worsen without FIL there to control. From what I gather your MIL is feeling very jittery over ‘losing’ her husband and being too protective over her children thereafter. An old Cantonese saying is very true “seong kin yee, seong chee nan” meaning its easier to see each other often but difficult to live together. Thank your lucky stars you meet once a year. It’s already a great blessing in disguise. Take care.

    • Cleffairy says:

      Yeah… I ought to count my blessings…not living with people who have different style of living is already a huge blessing to me. Things could have been worst…really worst!

      i will refrain from commenting about MIL’s relationship wif my FIL, cuz as far as I’m concern, it is not always the fault of men when men walked away from marriage. We never know what transpired between a couple. *grinZ*

      And as for being protective… I have to say something about that. When children grow up, one should learn to let go and should realize that the children are adult, and no longer children that one can change by nagging or scolding. By doing that, the children would shy away.I dunno, this is just my two cents…

  5. Merryn says:

    I was… counting every seconds during new year eve too… and come the next day.. was counting every minute until I got into the car and started the journey back to MY hometown.. only then.. MY cny started πŸ˜€

        • Cleffairy says:

          I had to endure 4 days, the eve included. Keep look at the watch tick tock! Lagi teruk. Thank God it’s over…but…I have a nagging feeling that it’s never over in the first place. Takpelah… there’s always God… come to worst, I’ll just go beg Him to take my life lah… simple aje. When things gets out of hand, I oso malas nak hidup. LOL…

  6. Bananaz says:

    Come to think about it you are not that worse off than your hubby as he is sandwiched in between two women he loves the most. He is also chiak lat one. On his right palm is flesh and behind his palm is also flesh so you cannot expect him to make a decision whose side he should be. Cheers!

    • Cleffairy says:

      Yes… he’s definitely sandwiched… but then again… I did not ask him to make decisions on anything, for if anything happens… I can let go. I wouldn’t choose to fight, cuz I got tired of nonsense, especially when it involves the other woman in his life. I will not win… so why bother? Better spare the agony as I’ve learn a bitter lesson last year, that I cannot change some things in my life, and some certain things will remain the same until the end of time.

      All I hope for is that he can open his eyes and’see’ and not be so oblivious towards the surroundings. For what it’s worth, my brother in law did. And he noticed that nobody is an angel and avoided trouble by avoiding the triggering of problems. LOL…smart…smart man, isn’t he? The key to a good adult children relationship with some elders is avoidance. Less you see them, less uneasiness will brew.

  7. Cheeyee says:

    Hey glad ur CNY is not that bad after all. Likewise, my CNY this year is not that bad too. Hahaha! My CNY meals is no much different u I suppose. Fried meehoon for lunch on CNY Day 1, simple vegan for dinner, and fried rice with yam for lunch on CNY Day 2. Yes, no fish, no chicken, no pork. Just treat as keep fit lor. LOL!

    • Cleffairy says:

      It was bad, but tolerable, cuz my brother in law was there to keep things under control by playing the peacemaker.

      LOL…well… I don’t have to tell what’s served, do I? Vegetarian food all the time. Luckily went out and eat. Ahahaha… I cannot keep fit anymore, I’d be all bones if I keep ‘fit’. Ahahahahahaha!

  8. fatty oldman says:

    sure u felt a lot better when u r at own plc now as no plc better den own plc…

    i owes hope so that thre a joker on a table as not fun just eat n eat only doin nth..

    • Cleffairy says:

      As for me, thank God my brother in law was there. Else…wanna swallow food oso so damn hard la… why?

      Cuz will listen to this nia… “Dun let your brat eat use hand,” “Woi, teach ur brat to use this,” “Why ur brat never eat rice?” Come on la… listen to these sort of things oso sien wan la…how to eat? Open mouth nia ntg good to say. Scold all the time. For me, I malas layan.

      Anymore scolding, I’ll send the brat go up to the room without food. I tak pandai ajar anak ma, the anak dowan to listen no matter how many times to tell the anak oso. What’s so susah… just hantar the anak go up to the room, let him starve, or feed the anak with some chocolate from my bag, cuz he dono how to behave at the table for ppl to see, keep on kena maki. Senang je. Tak payah makan together. Not eat at FIL’s place… if eat wif FIL…he will fuck me off if I force the anak to behave at the table, cuz for him, eating time is not scolding time, must be happy when eating.

      Actually, for me, if quiet at the table nvm, listen to scolding nia, makan pun takde selera, wanna vomit, got la! Really lucky got BIL…else…I oso dono how, as I wasn’t so happy with the incident about the kitchen earlier on as well. Den sit nia, start liao… nag, scold… I malas wanna dengar…if it’s not for BIL… I would have pick up my plate, wash, drag the brat with me to the room. Then the rest can sit there guai guai and happy happy without me and the anak!

  9. fatty oldman says:

    if i had this situation i cant so tahan like u as i wil fuck who ever mess up o say me when nth done wrong…
    my fren told me his wife very fierce and scold him alot n both owes quarrel and when i understand the situation from the wife its very funny…her MIL nag/say/scold her she kept quiet n scold him n released temper on him…lol

    • Cleffairy says:

      Yalah… I oso liddat ma…fuck off husband la… never tells off the mother, marry liao, dono how to protect the wife. Wife oredi geram kena fuck off wud else can do? Fuck off the MIL meh? Wait she cry then tell ppl we dotter in law so fucking evil… den ppl will say us bad nia…

    • Cleffairy says:

      Yala… nvm la… if my hubby can be mummy’s boy, i oso can be daddy’s girl. Bully me, I ask my daddy bring out shotgun! Humph! See if I don’t!

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