They made me feel that I’m worth something

I have three children. One with two legs, while another two comes with fur and have four legs. The one with two legs is a special need child, and never really made me feel as if I’ve accomplished anything at all as a mother, due to the fact that his milestone is not exactly the same as other children his age, and I’ve always felt as if I have nothing to feel proud about.

I can’t say he’s achieved much things, and I can’t exactly shout out on how advanced he is and bla bla bla while other mothers can do exactly just that when they meet up with each other. In other words, I’ve long accepted the fact that I’ll be condemned to feel self-conscious when it comes to the boy and will be damned to sit aside and watch other children progress steadily as they grow whenever I meet up with friends who have children. (And not to mention that plenty of people are gonna scrutinize me for being a bad mother, etc for my son’s lack of progress, but I’m not gonna bother about those people anymore, cuz they are the uneducated ones. They are the one who never bothered to understand about special needs children, and I shouldn’t lower myself and listen to any of their judgmental and foolish opinions. I owe them nothing, anyway)

But God has his way of comforting me, I suppose. My two-legged child may make me feel so small and insignificant all the time, but my four-legged children made me feel as if I’m worth something, and they made me feel that if I’m given the chance to have a normal child with average ability to make reasonable progress for his or her age, I would have at least achieved something.

Do you know why I said that? Well, I think some of you may have realized that I’ve recently adopted another kitty. I thought I’d make a lousy ‘mother’ to two cats at home,considering the fact that there’s a lot things needs to be done so that my first cat will not harm the little one and make friends with the younger one. I was really anxious, and I was kinda overprotective towards the younger kitty.

But in the end, I managed not only to make them bond, but managed to discipline them and make them follow certain routine too, and I feel really good about it. Their learning progress is excellent too, and they learn tricks pretty fast. On top of that, they never failed to understand what I try to communicate to them.

My four-legged children made me feel a tad wistful at times whenever I see them interact and enjoy playing and eating with each other. They made me feel that… perhaps…one day, if I ever have the chance to be a mother to two or three human children, they could be exactly like that-makes me feel proud, and worth something.

Above is the video of my furkids during the first 3 days knowing each other. The elder one used to avoid playing with the younger one, and would hiss at the younger one whenever the younger one goes near, but now, after one week being introduced to each other (after plenty of nagging and coaxing on my part, of course), they are almost inseparable. They do a lot of things together; play together, eat together and even watch tv together. 😀

Cleffairy: Maybe God does not want me to have anymore children as I probably make a better mother for furkids instead of human kids. Maybe tonight, I’m gonna pray to God to give me a zoo instead of a baby daughter of my own!

 

3 comments

  1. stephy-nie says:

    Hey Clef! I know it’s been a while since I’ve appeared here! :p

    Well I dunno how it’s like being a mummy but I know it’s rather difficult and you’re a freaking strong woman so you’ll do fine, fur kid or two legged kids 😉 *manly awkward hug*

    • Cleffairy says:

      Hi Steph…hahaha… yes, it’s been awhile since you came here… (I’m guilty for not visiting your blog too… lol)

      Yups, it is difficult, especially if you have a special need child…not easy, it is not exactly good for your self esteem and self confidence, but I guess I can live with that. 😀

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