And so He said, let there be light…

Friends and foes alike may have noticed that I would go MIA quite frequently these days. It’s not the lack of inspiration that have caused my disappearance from the blog-o-sphere, but it is because apart from being extremely busy doing editorial work for my books and whatnot, God has seen it fit to bestow me some blessings in the form of good friends who had been very generous and thoughtful not only towards me but my entire family, including my cat as well. I am so sorry if my visit to your blog is less frequent now.

It is not because I have forgotten you or turned cocky, but it seems that these days, time seems to envy me. There’s so much to do, and yet, there’s so little time. But please be assured, you are never forgotten. You’re are always there in my heart.

While last year could have been the worst year of my life, where all sort of nonsense were thrown in together and made me depressed to the point I felt so alone and almost suicidal, I am glad that this year it’s been full of blessing, though my life is nowhere close to perfect.

Those who were superstitious might have you believe otherwise, for this is the year of Tiger in the Chinese Zodiac calender and it is believed that it is not quite a good year for a lot of things and luck is not on your side, but I am glad that I can say, so far, my life is not only filled with excitement and challenge, but blessings as well.

I may have many complaints and tears last year, but this year, God blessed me with many things, and here I am, giving thanks for His beautiful blessings. He had taught me that there is goodness in everything, and when bad things happens, it happens for a reason and it’s usually a blessing in disguise. I now have come to learn not to blame Him when things happen, but learn to look into different perspective each time things happen.

God gave me many wonderful friends who loved me for who I am and what I’m not. He gave me friends who would help me and be there for me when I’m distraught, and He gave me friends who spoiled me rotten just like they would spoiled their bratty little sister, and He also showed me who cherished the friendship and who doesn’t.

The almighty one also taught me that while some friends are made to treasure… there are certain ‘friends’ whom I need to be aware of, for they are the kind who will use me and ditch me when I am no longer useful for them to be used.

Last year, God told my entire world to darken, so that there will be light for me this year, and I am truly thankful on how things turn out to be. I could see clearly now. And am I complaining? No… I am giving thanks for all the blessings He saw fit to bestow upon me and my family.

Lately, when I blogged about my books, and some events that I attended on invitation, some would have congratulate me for being famous. But you know something? I am not famous. I never felt that I even was in the first place.

I never want to be famous or even well known. I prefer not to be ‘in the picture’, cuz I believe fame comes with a terrible price that I am not willing to pay, and I’ve always believe that fame will turn someone ugly and ungrateful. Fame too can make one forget their own root and sometimes, judgment will be clouded as well.

Fame will take away many things from me… that is what I’ve always believe. While fame is highly sought after by others, it is something I would terribly avoid. It costs too much. I am a rather vain person, you see. I hate to think that I’d be turned into something ugly to the point I could not recognize myself in the mirror. It terrifies me.

Anyway…the point here is…who needs fame when everyone is sincere to me when I’m just a nobody? I’d rather be a nobody. There is more joy in that. Pure, blissful, unadulterated joy.

Anyway, this is a thank you blog entry to thank God for all the blessings He gave me and show me that some friends are just for keep, and doesn’t really meant to just be friends, but family instead. Sometimes, I really do wish that I can be rich, just so that I could spoil those whom spoiled me in return. 😀

Cleffairy: I’m not going to name names over here, for I fear I’ll leave some names out, but thank you to all of you out there, for nothing is more great than what you have done for me. And of all the gifts I’ve received… the one that touched me most is the one that reminds me that God is always around me. And I shall keep it close to my heart. Thank you, for all you have done for me.


  1. suituapui says:

    “Remember my name…FAME!…I’m gonna live forever…!!!” Hahahahaha!!! May God’s Blessings continue to shower upon you throughout the rest of the year…and the years ahead! Life is what we make it! That’s my belief! Be happy!

  2. iamthewitch says:

    Thank goodness you’re all right.. I wonder what happened when you went MIA. Keep on writing Naughty Fairy.. I will definitely shower you with my naughty spells 😛

    • Cleffairy says:

      Hahahaha… don’t worry witch godmother. LOL… sometimes, when I MIA… that means good news. More often than not… when I’m blogging, my articles memang fierce and bitchy habis. Pity my readers oso…. most of the time see me PMS-ing nia. LOL… These few days rushing some work, so don’t really have time to blog and whatnot. 🙁 Very cham…=

  3. sasha Tan says:

    aiks u write book wan ah? U see i dunno u are so “pop”s wan until u ask if i design book cover. Wah if i design for u then i also femes lor? muahahha but yeah true..its good to be nobody then true friends will come.

    Oh u tiger? dun worry. Not the worst ok? To console you, monkey this year is the WORST = me 🙂 So dun worry. If bad luck hits u.. then remember me.. cos i am worst.

    • Cleffairy says:

      Aiks… yalah… lol… I write books. As someone would tell you.. I write ‘hamsup buku’. LOL…

      Writing like mad these days. 🙁 So many things to do and so little time. I read in Ling’s blog that you are a designer, and so I was wondering if you designed book covers too. Saja tanya, curious. I like your deigns, so kewl wan. Very cute. LOL… I’ve always admire designers… can make many things looks so nice. While me.. terrible at graphic. I’m a walking disaster when it comes to pictures. LOL…

      Eh, not ‘pop’ la… small time author only. Slowly working my way up. LOL…

      No la… I’m not a Tiger. I’m a Rat. LOL…last year was terrible for me. Almost die summore, Sasha. But this year is much better, but people keep telling me that this year would be more worst tha n the last. *shrugs* I just hope the year will be a better year than last year. 😀

    • Cleffairy says:

      Cis… tears la, konon. Must be eye mo moist! Kakakakakkakak…. you have a nice weekend with your kids and wife too… LOL… send regards to my hubby? Wildo. 😛

  4. TsurayaSan says:

    Cleffairy.. be cheerful.. I believe you can see the light at the end of the day.. sometimes I also have feeling like u…myself also almost suicidal when i’m down and depressed.. I tend to blame God as well, for not giving a perfect health.. I always jelous n eny with ppl who have good health whereby myself always carry sick…

    I must also learn from you, that I will not give up easily…I always pray to God, brighten my path.. I’m still aiming n i telling God, that I need a good health to enjoy life..

    U’re correct, “I now have come to learn not to blame Him when things happen, but learn to look into different perspective each time things happen.” I need to be strong from today…

    • Cleffairy says:

      Did you know that I played maple just so that I could forget my problems and what’s been bothering me? Maple helped me in some ways, to drown my sorrows back then late in 2006 and early 2007. It made me…temporarily forget.

      It was some sort of escapism. I kept myself glued to the pc… playing all day long, ks-ing people when I’m mad… and back then, only in maple I feel myself liberated. I remembered… I even celebrated New Year alone in 2008… in FM. 🙁 Lonely…angry, everything was in one. I couldn’t let go of many things… couldn’t accept many things. I felt I was being taken for granted back then. Whatever I did, nobody says thank you. Forgotten birthdays, etc. Unappreciated. My only comfort: Maple friends. I felt needed only in Maplestory. Pathetic, isn’t it? But i’m sure you understand how I felt. Loads of maplers mapled for the sake of escaping problems and seeks companionship, no just merely for fun. The society in there became real when the real world are harsh towards us.

      Tsuraya, you will come to term with yourself, the way I did. It’s just a matter of time. Don’t worry…whenever you need an ear… just abuse my email. I’ll be there for you.

      ps: I do miss maple sometimes. Too bad all my kakis are gone. No one I know is playing in Delph anymore. 🙁

  5. calvin says:

    …..and i also thank God for allowing me to be your blog buddy clef. and much like you, i’m always MIA….lolz. been pretty busy with shoots. i’m building my rep in KL as well, so when i do have time, will call you out for a drink (i think we have been saying this for some pretty long time now….hahaha). cheers and god bless, my dearest sista!! 🙂

    • Cleffairy says:

      Tipu tipu tipu… say alot of times oredi, never jio me out. *SNARL* Geram, gerammmmm! Kakakaka… nvm.. next time you’re in KL, we go serbu Pete… he owe us some makan makan. Kekekekekekke…

      And yes, thank God for letting me know you as well. i sure had fun being… ahemm… corrupted by your darling wife. Akakakakakkakakaka!!!

  6. kelvin says:

    Hmmm, don’t read my post if u are still emo now…coz this one is worst then the previous one >.<

    We are always blessed, just that we are not aware most of the times. I am happy for u^^

  7. Cheeyee says:

    Hey I feel so happy for u… glad that you don’t feel as negative as last year. In fact u sounds much more cheerful nowadays. 🙂

    I totally agree with you that God made things happen for reasons. This is what I always believe too! And it made me not to blame anyone for what is happening.

    Have a great weekend!

    • Cleffairy says:

      I’m surrounded with friends who care for me… friends like you… who always spare some thoughts for me… even my cat! LOL… How can I not be happy? I’m pretty easy to please wan, actually. 😛

  8. kathy says:

    Wah…Big AUTHOR ah? Can I have your autograph ah? At least sign 100 pieces for me la. Then I can tumpang glamour also :p. And when i pokai, I can sell your autograph for food la …can or not?

    • Cleffairy says:

      You kno sth Kat? usually kan… those author who become famous is after their death. Itu J.k Rowling and Steph Meyer tarak kira la… they all pakai hunks to promote their books, tak aci wan. LOL… Even if I sign for you, I tink after I kapoot only you can sell. Huhuhuhu! Very cham!

  9. Annie Q says:

    i am not good in writing, all i want to said is take good care of yourself, don’t over tired and please get enough rest. You want someone to talk to, we are always here for you and listen to you or read you. 🙂

    Have a good weekend Cleff!

  10. Mommy Ling says:

    vampire is always on MIA..wahaha..

    no worry, whenever u need us, just pop out in MSN to find me the hantu bungkus to wrap up all ur unhappy things,ok.

    Tk care my dear fren!!

Leave a Reply

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.