Let’s us all admit it, after being comfortable in a marriage, or a relationship, sex is simply not very…interesting anymore. Come now, let’s be honest…how many of you married men and married women still have the hots for each other and couldn’t wait to get down to business on the bed every night?How many of you still have go at it a few times consecutively in one night?
I doubt not many feels the way that we feel many years back when we’re still pretty much ‘hormonal’ during first few months, or first few years of our relationship.
For most, after a decade or two in a relationship or a marriage, having sex is just another task you got to endure. It’s simply too much an effort to get movin’ and instead of having a sizzling foreplay to make each other feel good during the process of it, it’s usually just another one of those get down and ‘unload’ to scratch the mutual itch, and it usually takes what? Less than 10 minutes? No, I’d say, 5 minutes would have settled the job. It’s a quickie, they say…and it’s just plain boring!
Libido, tends to go down, down, down and almost nonexistent for most. Not just women experienced the decrease of libido. Whoever tells you that only women experienced that after giving birth, is a big liar. Men experienced it too, trust me on that.
You see, many things tends to get in the way of our sex life; mainly other commitments like work. And it doesn’t help that sometimes nuisance of kids tends to make noises when you got the mood to get intimate with your other half. Yes, I’m speaking about this through experience, and I am not ashamed to admit that if I managed to get laid at least once a week these days, I’d considered that as winning a lottery, I kid you not! I’d pretty much blame it on dumb smartphone addiction as well as the tendency to ‘make love’ with your Facebook friends through chats, stupid forums, nonsensical online community, Twitter, and so the list goes on.
Having said that, I suppose I am still lucky enough that I get to my other half’s online and Facebook addiction on my sex life, or lack thereof. Some other ladies are not lucky as that as their other half not only put them aside because they find communicating with their other half in real life is difficult to accomplish, but their other half loosing interest in them altogether because they couldn’t ‘feel’ them anymore while getting intimate. I think that is much more worst.
Some men give this lousy excuse to their wives that they could no longer feel the contraction around their penis whenever they’re having sex.
A lady whom I know, told me before that her husband refused to get intimate with her anymore after she gave birth to her baby. He said, ” I’m sorry, I can’t feel you anymore. You’re not tight anymore”.
Imagine her devastation. Yes, such things do happen, though we don’t exactly discuss such things openly. A lot of women feels apprehensive about discussing their sex life, or lack thereof, because it is considered a taboo topic in most society and community.
I don’t feel apprehensive about it, though, as I feel that sometimes, you need to highlight certain issues openly so that things will be better. Holy houses might have us believe that such things must remained behind closed doors, but I don’t feel that it should be left unsaid.
So… on the issue of men not being able ‘to feel’ the tightness of our vagina anymore after having vaginal birth, why does that happen? How it happens? And how can we improve the situation? And why urine leakage happens in some women after giving birth?
Well, ladies, do you remember my post on ‘Getting Intimate with your Pelvic Floor Muscle’? I am not sure if you remember, but in that post, I have explained that like many muscle in our body, the vagina tends to worn out too, and it needs working out if you want to maintain the elasticity.
When a man complained that you are not tight anymore… or they can”t feel you anymore during your intimate moments, that would have mean that your pelvic floor muscle is no longer strong, and couldn’t contract accordingly during sexual intercourse.
If you have any signs of these:
- Involuntary loss of urine during physical acitivities, such as coughing, laughing, sneezing or exercising.
- Sudden urge or need to urinate due to bladder spasms or contractions.
- Difficulties in achieving orgasms during sexual intercourse.
Then most probably your pelvic floor muscle is no longer strong. It usually happens because:
- Pregnancy
- Childbirth
- Aging
- Obesity
- Menapause
- Chronic cough
- Genetic disorder
And you can actually improve the situation by doing Kegel exercise.Kegel exercise (named after Dr. Arnold Kegel), consists of repeatedly contracting and relaxing the muscles that form part of the pelvic floor. By performing Kegel exercise regularly, we could help strengthen pelvic floor muscle, increase of blood flow and nerve supply to the pelvic region, help the restroration of vaginal muscle tone and improve vaginal health. Apart from that, it also helps to increase thickness to the vaginal wall and encourages lubrication after menapause. It’s great, isn’t it? Apart from that, performing Kegel exercise regularly can also prevent involuntary urinary leakage. And you’d also be surprised to discover that Kegel exercise also help improve sexual response and function.
So, in other words, if you perform the exercise regularly, you’d find that your contraction around your other half’s penis will get better and better and stronger, and he have no reasons whatsoever of accusing you being ‘loose’ or ‘not tight anymore.
The problem with Kegel exercise is that it is difficult to do. Well, at least to me it’s difficult, cuz I don’t exactly know the correct muscle to exercise. Trust me. I’ve attended Kegel exercise demonstration a month back, and I think I ended up working on my butt muscle instead and I ached everywhere, all in the wrong places.
Truth be told, Kegel devices like Vibrance Kegel device in my previous post really helps us who wants to work out the correct muscle alot. And as I promised a month ago, here’s a little testimony on whether the device in question it is effective or not:
Is the device effective? Well yes, I must say the device is effective, though I must be honest that I couldn’t really use it as prescribed, which is daily, as I don’t exactly have the privacy to do so at home with my son being at home 24/7. I had to really find time and privacy to do it behind close doors; as I need to insert the device into my vagina and it actually makes a series of funny beep sound during usage if you activated the sound guidance function on the device. The device works well. Whenever I contracted my pelvic floor muscle around it, it will vibrate, indicating that I’m exercising the correct mucle.
Basically, I started off with high sensitivity sheath and proceed with low sensitive sheath that requires more pressure.
This device is hypoallergenic, and therefore, there’s no allergic reation whatsoever, even though I’m sensitive towards latex and whatnot. This stuff is easy to take care of. All you need to do after using it is just rinse it with soap and place it in the capsule to dry.
Thanks to the Vibrance Kegel device, I can now perform Kegel exercise correctly without having to worry that I’m exercising the wrong muscle.
It made a lot of difference to me, actually, as after using this, I find that my blood circulation actually improves and I don’t feel so breathless whenever I try to contract my pelvic floor mucles anymore. And I noticed that there’s no more urine leakage problems whenever I sneeze a tad too hard.
I have been told that this device could actually help a smooth childbirth delivery too, considering that it improves the pelvic floor muscle condition, but I can’t comment on that as there is no baby on the way right at the moment, and from the looks of it, won’t be any baby anytime soon either.
In any case at all, I have to say that this device does improves my confidence and my health, and if you’re interested to get it, you may check out MyBioinfinity website.
This dvicet can be bought online through the website for Rm498 per boxset.Other than website www.mybioinfinity.comÂ
A note to the readers: This device is recommended for those who are sexually active. If you are a virgin, I wouldn’t exactly encourage you to use this as it’s invasive in nature. And if you’re pregnant, do get your gyne’s advice before using this device.
Cleffairy: Well, the device can help improve pelvic floor mucle and improve sexual response. However, how you improve the attitude of men towards women after they give birth is another thing altogether. All I can say, it takes two hands to clap, and women can’t be the party who tries to make things right all the time. Men needs to recicoperate too to work things out.
Just not too long ago, someone asked in a Mummy forum how many times the mommies get laid in a month, with or without children. Most mommies replied before having child, few times a day and everyday or at least once a day. After having child, average once a month only. So big difference!
Aihh… must be hubby sien liao or wud lorrr…so dun make love that often anymore…or just too distratcted for it, etc. Like I said above la.
Sad to hear that. It’s not so exciting anymore, isn’t it?
I suppose some men takes things for granted after awhile.
So… is there actually a hands on demo for this device? I would wanna see the stuff before I buy it since it is quite costly. 🙁
I think you could contact bioinfinity themselves for a demo, bigfatmama. 😀
I would consider it normal for long time couple to just have sex once a week…i suppose the excitement is not that much anymore after a while…
🙁 and people generally thinks that only women have a decrease of libido! 🙁
pssst, Cleffairy… do you feel aroused when you feel this thing vibrate?
Aroused? As in sexually excited? Unfortunately this device duzzin work that way. I dun get excited using, it’s purely clinical.
Wow…sounds pretty interesting. I shall ask from you more next time…ehehhe. psstt…Personally!
*pengsan* ask me wud ah? Scary ah u.
LOL…finally the post is up.
Interesting device.
Yea… and it vibrates when you use it. Very exciting wan!
A very informative post! Yeah, it’s pretty important to work out with the Kegel exercise, especially after giving birth. Ths is indeed a very handy device. 😉
Yups… it is important for a woman to do kegel exercise after giving birth.
very informative. I would share this with my friends who just gave birth. women must know how to take care of themselves in and out. =)
Thank you very much, Angel Bear…yups… women must take good care of themselves in and out not only after giving birth, but before too.
eh so sad la if hubby say something like that.. but better he be honest so can take way to tighten it back hor.. than he go outside there and do God know what.
Its work ka? must buy when planning to have baby,
Well, some men can be quite a bastard. 🙁 Well… I assume he was not just being honest, but wanna use that as an excuse to find other women. 🙁
Yea, the device works…provided you use it regularly as instructed la.