Cherish them

My father hit the golden number today. And no, he did not win lottery or a jackpot. He hit 50. Today is his birthday, and I gave him a well deserved phonecall to wish him a happy birthday. I did not realize how fast time goes by, and to me, my father stays young forever, always a 30-ish. And perhaps, that goes the same with him, all his daughters are his baby girls forever.

50… he hits 50, and I have come to realization that I’ve been taking things for granted which is spending time with my parents. Oh well, that is kinda hard to avoid because we live miles apart, and I can’t afford to make trips back to hometown every week or fortnightly like others.

Growing up following my parents who are transferred around Malaysia every 2,3,4 years has caused my childhood, and I have realized that is another reason why I did not go back often. It’s because I simply do not have any friends or aqquintance to loiter with when I go back for a visit, and I have to be stay at home because I’m not familar with the place they are staying now. Not to mention  having no others but my parents and my sister as companion is some sort of turn off. So, instead of going back to my old folks’, I just give them a call every now and then.

But, I feel guilty nevertheless and wishes to see my family often, and I wonder how many out there do not go back to visit their parents or in laws often? You see, it’s a common knowledge that when a woman is married, she’ll go back less, and some are not even permitted to see her families after a few years of marriage. I’ve heard some old wivies tale about extreme chauvinistic Muslim husbands who don’t mix well with the wife’s family telling the wife that if she’s to step out of the house to visit her family, she’ll be automatically divorced. And there’s a number of non-Muslim husbands who does that too. Sad, but yes, some husband simply treats his wife like a property he owns, and forgets that she too have a family before marrying him. How could one so heartlessly severe family ties like that is beyond my understanding.

Maybe in this never ending rat race and mind boggling Malaysia, we should take a break and cherish the ones around us, and try to spend some quality time with our old folks while we can. I certainly can’t spend too much time with mine due to distance factor, but I do hope you people out there can do so when you can, and while the old folks are still around.

Cleffairy: Happy birthday dad. You’re always young in my heart.

11 comments

  1. warrior2 says:

    Lesson learnt from the many EXPERIENCES of others, some happy and some miserable, is to REALLY get to know the person that one is to marry and the familly and take the time to get to know them.

    One will be surprised to know how a charming young man can turn into a monster a**hole after marriage and a sweet young thing can be a bi*ching witch.

    Go beyond love as one dosent live and survive on love alone!

  2. KevinP says:

    Cleffy = daddy’s little girl… :).

    Sure he is proud of you and would love to see you more often… all dads do.. makes me feel guilty.. going back end of next month tho… :).

  3. cleffairy says:

    Haha… see me more often. yes, I think he does, but then again, he’s also a very busy man….haha. Absence makes the heart grows fonder, that’s what I always believe.

    LOL, uncle warrior. Marriages does not make one happy. You are supposed to make a marriage work and turn out a happy one. I believe that relationship with in laws begins before marriage, and maintaining a good relationship with the in laws after marriage is a must do. Well, I wouldn’t want my relationship with my kids to grow apart if they were to marry. Cleff is an evil thing… she’ll make sure her kids in law adores her, so she can keep her kids near her. Whahaha. One rule to keep your kids close: keep their spouse close to you.

    On charming prince and a sweet princess turning into a rotten monster after marriage…well, I’d say, life is not a fairy tale.

  4. chit says:

    Heyy, wow, yr dad is still very young. thaat would imply u must b pretty young too…keke. well, i miss my parents very much altho they stay a 5mins drive from me, but whenever i m with them, i may juz hv somthing to debate with them , which makes me feel bad. whenever they r bk in the hometown, i feel better, because i feel calm and it was always an endeavor to submit to whatever they want…hehe. strange eh? but it’d b on top of the world being able to take them for holidays….that’s always a great feeling…to spend for them without reservations and above all take care of them!!! think about it!!!!! lol.

  5. sambal muncha says:

    Hi Cleffairy,

    Very touching, a happy 50th to your papa.

    Thanks for leaving a comment on my site, YOU ARE THE FIRST! I owe you a teh tarik! Sorry for the delayed response, didn’t think anyone would’ve bothered to leave a comment

    I believe marriage can’t be in isolation in that you have to be prepared to take on your in-laws and family as your family; and the sacrifices and commitment that come with it.

    sambal.m[email protected]

  6. cleffairy says:

    Hi chit and sambal muncha. Thank you for visiting my blog and commenting.

    Haha, chit…. my dad says he’s a ‘senior citizen’ now, and kinda look forward to the privileges that he can get…though I doubt there’s such thing in Malaysia. Young? Maybe… I’m going to be 24 this year, but I do feel quite old. Maybe I think too much about things and don’t really have time to enjoy a youthful life like others. 😛 some say my writing make me sound old. You know what? I felt that my relationship with my family, especially my parents improved as soon as I left for college. We can communicate better as well as argue less when we’re apart. And, when we get to meet, we spend the most quality time a family can possibly have. Maybe a lot of people experience that too.

    Ah, yes, sambal muncha. you’re right about the marriage thing, I couldn’t agree better, as it’s true that once you marry, you marry the entire family, not just your spouse, and one should make an effort to keep peace with both side of the family. Hmm… I’m not sure where i got the link to your blog, sambal muncha, but I kinda remember a phase, if not mistaken, from your profile, which is “Rindu is a beautiful Malay word with no English synonym” That phrase kinds stick to my head, and I found it quite true! It’s just too bad you don’t write more.

    😛

  7. cleffairy says:

    LOL, yea… the man already have the things money can buy, and this daughter is still leeching him every now and then. I thought of cooking for him, but then again, I figure that I’ll leave that to my mom. Hehehe

  8. pamina says:

    i moved around too when i was younger…i changed schools like 10 times. and i realized one thing, i dun really care whats the place is like or whether i know the ppl there, what matters is that my family is around. they make any place lights up!

    happy bday, cleffairy’s dad!

  9. cleffairy says:

    Lol… same here, pamina… i lost count of how many schools i went to. I just know it’s more than five. I’m too lazy to count. When i grew older, I even stopped unpacking some of my stuff cuz i knew that we’ll just be moving out and change school again. I never made myself truly comfortable at one place until i moved out of home for college. KL is truly my home now.

    LOL… speaking of my dad, I’ll be having a dinner date with him later! He’s coming to KL for a business trip! Whahahaha… I’m so happy to be seeing him again after err…6 mth? HAha!

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