Claustrophobia and motion sickness

I went into a ship during a floating bookfair not long ago. The ship was known as Logos Hope. I’m sure most of you have heard about it. It’s one of the famous ship ministry in the world, and apart from selling over 5,000 books at a reasonable price in the name of charity, Logos Hope and it’s crew also travels around the world to provide knowledge, aid and healthcare to the poor.

I have heard a lot about their wonderful work. I admire their effort, and I was really looking forward to pay this ship a visit while it was docking in Glenn Cruise Terminal, Port Klang recently.

While it’s known to the public as the world largest floating bookfair, I don’t really see it as a bookfair. Some people were making so much noise that the ship is not worth going into cuz the books are not cheap and there’s not much choice in comparison to another local bookstore’s warehouse sale that was held almost at the same time as the Logos Hope’s docking.

Well, that’s plain shallow in my opinion. I did not plan to go there just so that I can buy a book or two. I wanted to go and see what this ship and it’s wonderful crew have done for humanity. I think what they did was really wonderful, and somehow, I feel inspired and wanted to see for myself.

My husband and I have been planning ahead to take a day off and whatnot so that we can visit this ship. You see, he’s as excited as I am when we talked about Logos Hope. My husband did not even complain whenever I reminded him the date that we’ll go and have a look at this ship. He’s in fact, excited about it as I am. 😀

And we were… you know, imagining that one day, our whole family would be on board of the ship as part of the Logos Hope’s crew, doing charity along with other 400 crews of different nationality. I told him that perhaps one day, we would do just that… when we’re retired and he thinks that it’s a great idea to travel the seven seas while bringing health, hope and knowledge to people around the world.

I certainly do think that it’s a good way to spend your retirement. You not only can travel the world, but can do good for the humanity as well. Talk about killing two birds with one stone. I’ll be sure to remind my husband of this when we’re older. It’s definitely much more appealing to me than returning to that home town of his to retire. I think living there would cut my life short cuz I have nothing constructive to do. ( I think I’d probably suicide too if we’re to retire in some small, quite town, cuz I would feel that I have no direction in life and death would be a better way out)

Anyway, let’s put this dream of ours aside. Something happened when I went abroad Logos Hope. I was fine the first few minutes on the ship, but as soon as I reached the book section, I feel extremely claustrophobic. You see, during the time we visited the ship, it was quite crowded. Well, at least my brain seems to think that it’s crowded and it started to send awful signal to my body. 🙁

I started to have cold sweat when I was in the book section. You see, the shelf was close to one another and it was rather cluttered there. I feel overwhelmed with the crowds, and breathing became hard to do. Nausea hits me terribly, and soon, I started to panic and rushed to the restroom to vomit. I vomited twice, and was still feeling terribly queasy after attempting to go back to the book section again.

I really wanted to be there in the book section, but I simply couldn’t as there’s too much people around and the space simply feels cluttered, and my body simply goes against me. Trying to clear my head and breathing in and out did not help either.

Don’t get me wrong. I am not complaining. And I am eternally grateful to the Logos Hope’s crews who were so concern for me when I was on board. They’re so attentive and I want to thank them over here for offering to bring me to their doctor on board so that I can have the medical attention that I need. That was so thoughtful and I am so touched.

To cut the long story short, I gave up on browsing for books at the book section. It’s too overwhelming for me, and instead of attempting to go to the book section once again, I decided to go to the cafe area where the furnitures are not so cluttered and less crowded, and have better air ventilation.

I felt better immediately and went on a sugar spree while I was in the cafe. 😀 I ordered a Vanilla Coke, a huge chocolate chip cookie, an ice cream cone and a ham sandwich to eat. It was a wonderful way to kill time and I enjoyed it so much to the point I did not notice that my blogger friends were behind me with their respective children.

As I was enjoying my goodies in the cafe, Alice asked me if I’m claustrophobic, and I told her yes. =.= (darn, there goes my image… I must have made a terrible first impression on her) My other blogger friend, Littlemermy on the other hand was perplexed on why my body behaves that way. She wondered why I feel nauseous when the ship is not even moving.

Now, there’s a difference between claustrophobia and motion sickness. I did not feel nauseous because I feel the ship was swaying or something. I’ve been on a ferry and boats for countless times back then and I had no problems with the nasty swaying.

I had cold sweats and feels nauseous cuz  I feel overwhelmed with the crowds and the cluttered furnitures. It is the confined space and poor ventilation that made my body behaves weirdly. Trust me, put me in a cluttered and a confined place, and you’ll get a vomiting me.

I am claustrophobic, and can be affected by motion sickness under certain circumstances too, but when I was on Logos Hope, it was definitely not motion sickness, but claustrophobia. I feel fine as soon as I stepped out of the ship and away from the crowd back then. *sigh* Some people may say I’m just being a fuss, but trust me, it’s not something that I can control. My body reacted automatically, and I can’t do anything to stop it from happening.

Neway, despite it all, I stayed on board til it was quite late…because I enjoyed mingling around with the friendly crew and I loved the inspiring stories that they tell me. 😀

Overall, being on board Logos Hope was a good and eye-opening experience. If only I could enjoy the whole thing without vomiting, though.

Cleffairy: How the hell am I gonna retire and join the Logos Hope crew? I have no idea. Help me God! 🙁

9 comments

  1. suituapui says:

    What about flying in a plane? No such problems. Some people – the moment they get on board already vomitting – hasn’t started moving yet. Same thing when travelling by bus.

    • Cleffairy says:

      Yea… now that you mentioned it… I had no such problems when I’m on a plane. That’s strange…perhaps the air ventilation was not as bad? I have no idea… but there are some places I cannot go… will feel claustrophobic. And I have no idea how to overcome it… it can’t be helped… body auto-react wan. 🙁

  2. claire says:

    Actually I agree with you.. in fact, I didn’t spend time browsing at the books.. it was just like walking and walking from one end to another and then that was it. I was in the Vivo city then so I guess it was more cooling inside the mall than on the ship… crowded too..
    Well, I think if the ship is moving, u will not feel nausea cos there will be no crowd and more wind flowing into the ship.. right? Happy retirement dreams! hahaha..

    • Cleffairy says:

      Hmm.. been on a ship or ferry loads of times, but never had such problems. But of course, they’re all moving…unlike this one… this one not moving and it was soooo bloody crowded… to the point I couldn’t breathe… 🙁

  3. smallkucing says:

    Just stick with your place retiring to Sibu is much safer la.

    Grumbling about book price? of course la ppl will compare with the sale price. That one is small matter la. You go see the book club. There are some ppl lagi teruk . Commenting of going to the ship whether it’s halal or not. Coz the money spent there like enterance fees will go towards the spreading of other religion and stuff like that.*shake head*

  4. Alice Law says:

    Don’t give up your dream, I’m sure you can overcome your phobia! That’s a beautiful dream tht you and your hubby hold! Nvr give up!
    Spoil your image on me?! Not at all, you are friendly, easy going and lovable, cos u are cute!(Not flattering, but it’s true… u can ask Kathy or any other of your friends);D

  5. Cheeyee says:

    Oh due to the crowd…. Sorry it was not very crowded for me. Hehe. But the place not very spacious, prob that’s why. Anyway glad u feel better after taking some food.

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