Empty no more.

Little Bird says… ” Happy birthday”. πŸ˜€

My life, would have been empty. Void of warmth and happiness if I was not blessed enough to know MommyLing.

Among all of my blogger friends, she’s the closest to me in regards of age. Unlike most of my blogger friends whom I’ve been lucky enough to be acquainted with, Ling and I are only one year apart, and at many levels, we’re on the same page. (Most of my blogger friends are much older than I am…usually… 10, 20, or even 30 years older than I am)

You see, before I got to know her,  I’ve always feel so out of place when I mingle around with young people… say… people who are single and still in their 20s. Strange, isn’t it? Considering that I am also that age. Yes, people…I am still in my20s. In fact, I’m just 26, though alot of people, including Claire and Smallkucing‘s Mamarazzi thought I should be at least a lady well in her 40s when they first come to my blog.

People tend to have such perception of me when they read my blog… especially if they’ started to follow my blog two-three years ago. Oh well, it can’t be helped. I sounded pretty much like a menopausal, brooding old lady with my writing, and I never did attempt to correct them.

It’s all right. I mean, I don’t mind people mistaking me for being a wrinkly, stern old lady. After all… I kinda get some kicks whenever I meet up with people who assume I’m old. Oh God, whatever wouldn’t I give to have their picture taken when they saw me for the first time? I know a lady who practically gape when she first saw me. Poor lady assume that I was actually Cleffairy’s daughter. I really had a good laugh after that. πŸ˜›

Anyway, I’m straying. Where was I? Well, yes… I was saying that I do not feel comfortable around young people who are still single. Some people will ask me why… well here’s why… I feel out of place. Very out of place. I don’t feel that I belong to that group of people anymore. Look at me…. I am 26, married, and my son is already 6 years old. Not many choose to settle down so early these days, and what common topic could I possibly have with single people my age, anyway?

I don’t belong anymore. At times, I feel empty. Before I knew Ling, I couldn’t relate to people my age… all because in terms of marital status… I’m prematurely ahead. When I chill out, I would like to talk about my family, my boy… and yes… I’d like to talk about what ails me too… you know…sometimes, we women need that kind of release. To talk about what’s bothering us… and to share our problems. We’re not necessarily looking for a solution… but merely for people who are willing to listen without attempting to judge you. And guess what? I cannot talk to people my age about all those because they are not in the same shoe as I am.

My priorities and their priorities are different…. and therefore conversation between me and my young friends, no matter how close they used to be with me, will be very awkward. What’s worst…because these people have yet to go through what I’ve gone through, they do not understand how I feel. They tend to judge and offer shallow advice when all I want is just for them to listen.

Knowing Ling… filled an empty void in my life and my heart. She’s only 1 year apart from me, she’s married, and she’s blessed with two beautiful little girls whom she dubbed as monsters occasional. Ling understood me pretty well. Ling may not know this, but last year … something happened to me. It’s nothing historic, but it’s depressing and crushing nevertheless because I felt as if I need to evaluate my life all over again. I doubted myself, and I wonder if I’m doing the right thing. She did not know, but she was my pillar of strength, and she gave me the courage I very much need to face the unexpected venom that threatens to kill me inside out.

I’m not sure if she remembers it, but she told me that sometimes to set things right, you got to confront the problems that you have in hands and sometimes, one need to be cold-blooded. She was right. Because certain things can only be solved via confrontation or by being cold blooded. She reminded me that people in my position, should never let others, especially the one that I love trample me mercilessly.

Ling is beautiful lady on the outside and I can vouch that she’s beautiful inside too. And underneath that beautiful and sweet demeanor, she’s a very strong inspirational character with faith and passion inside her. She’s someone I look up too. I admire how she handle her children, and her endless faith in her life.

This might not be much, Ling… but here’s wishing you a very happy birthday. You’re one of those few people whom I keep in my prayers before I go to bed every day( I say day cuz I dun exactly sleep night… LOL!). I hope God will bless you and your family always.

Cleffairy: Happy birthday, Ling, and thank you very much….not just for all of your yummylicious nasi goreng, red bean desserts or mysterious roasted chicken, but for being in my life…. and for being there when I needed someone to cry to.

ps: Let’s go makan makan when you and the pontianak with unruly hair free okay? Celebrate both of your birthdays together. πŸ˜€

14 comments

  1. suituapui says:

    Already wished her on Facebook but never mind, Happy Birthday to MommyLing here too. See, I knew you’re in your 20s – people over 40 are more settled and more at peace with their lives – good or bad, they would have learnt to accept it and live with it.

  2. claire says:

    HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO LING…

    sorry.. i cannot go over to her blog and comment.. disallowed! over here can la.. so tumpang a bit of space here..

    LING, MAY YOU STAY SWEET AND BEAUTIFUL ALWAYS!!

  3. Yee Ling says:

    @STP and Claire, Thanks for the wishes…thanks!!!

    Cleff, i really like the cute birdie pic with the cupcake….though it looks simple, but it definetely touches my heart…sob**sob**tissue pls…

    Makan…yes yes!!!find a weekday will be easier for me..no need tag along monsters…LOL!!

  4. smallkucing says:

    Woi…indirectly say me “old” isit …not in your age group la….*merajuk mode ON*…no bihun for you..Later teach J turn you into a reptilia *evil grinz*

    Happy Birthday Ling πŸ˜€

    • Cleffairy says:

      *shudder* Alaaa… mamarazzi, janganlah merajuk…I sumbat u lotsa lotsa buku and ayam goreng to makan, wokay? Dun la teach J to transform me into reptilia… reptilia damn geli la!

Comments are closed.