She patched me up when I was torn…

How many of you are actually blessed enough to have friends who will stick with you through thick or thins? I’m sure you can easily say that you’re blessed with a lot of friends who will laugh with you and cry with you when you’re younger, but as we grew older, not many can actually say that. As we grow older, things started to change…. people started to change.

I have a lot of friends, but I have to say, some friends are better off as enemies. I used to have fair-weather friends and they do things that doesn’t exactly sit well with me.

I’m not quite sure how to say this without being too obvious, but let’s just say that some so-called friends do things that even animals won’t do, and they would even fuck your husband if they can just to spite you.

Some friends are ruthless even though their disposition says otherwise. They take take advantage of you whenever they can, and will do anything to ruin your happiness. Such lowlives. Yes… they are better off as enemies.

But some friends, some friends are for keep. Even though I was unlucky enough to encounter venomous snakes who have the cheeks to call themselves my friends somewhere along the road, but I was blessed enough to have real friends who not only will cry with me when the world crumbles beneath my feet, but will also be my pillar of strength when I actually have none.

A few years back… I lived in the world of darkness. Unable to trust, unable to love and unable to give. Because when I gave trust, my trust was trampled and broken mercilessly, by the ones that I love, no less.

I felt that my love was was unrequited back then and when I give, I get nothing back. I got sick, tired, and really fed up and therefore, I build a wall around myself. I was afraid to get hurt. It was pathetic, but what else can I do? I did not want to get hurt anymore. I have enough unhealed wounds.

I thought….enough is enough, and did you know what’s worst? I stopped believing… I stopped having faith in God. I even blamed Him for every single bad things that happened to me. I could not see that what I’ve been through was actually His will and I failed to see that He’s trying to show me something before it’s too late.

It is sad…it was just so sad that I failed to see what God intend me to see…which is ‘truth’. He was showing me the evil around me, but I refused to open my eyes and see. He was showing me who was my real friends and who was my enemies, but I stubbornly shut Him out of my heart.

I did not realize that by refusing Him, I was hurting myself even more…unable to love, unable to trust… and unable to function properly. By not believing in Him, I was just like a little bird with clipped wings, unable to fly, and vulnerable to predators around me.

But God works in mysterious ways, and I am forever grateful for that, for He sent me friends to teach me what I’ve forgotten. He sent me friends to remind me about love, kindness and generosity. He made me learn how to trust, how to give and how to open my heart to Him all over again through these friends.

I can name a few of these friends whom God sent to me to remind me of His existence and that all is not lost… but today, I’ll just name one, because today is my friend’s birthday. She’s none other than Smallkucing‘s Mamarazzi.

Without her, I would not be here today for before I got to know her, I was actually suicidal. She stopped me from pulling the trigger that would end my life, and she made me believe in Him again. I never thought it could have been possible, but she patched me up when I was torn.

She’s may be fierce and a no-nonsense kind of person on the outside, but she’s nothing but pure kindness inside. She taught what I’ve forgotten, and she made a better person out of me.

She’s God’s gift to me, and perhaps, the entire world too if they are lucky enough to get to know her.

Yes… today is her birthday, and so here I am, writing this while praying that God will bless her and her family always. I am forever indebted to her, and only God could repay her kindness and generosity towards me.

Happy birthday, Mamarazzi. You’re not just a friend to me, but an elder sister that I never had.

Cleffairy: I am truly blessed, for I have friends who do things that means so much to me…. and I give thanks to God for that every day.


  1. claire says:

    Friends are two way traffic… yes, we are truly blessed with good friends around.. treasure them and do not take them for granted.. 🙂

    Happy Birthday once again, Kathy!

  2. suituapui says:

    Happy Birthday, MeowMeow and many many more to come. “Whatever you do to the least of your brethren, you do unto Me,” and what goes around comes around. May you be blessed double…triple…multiple fold!

  3. Alice Law says:

    Guess Kathy’s face will be drench in tears if she read this post of yours! It’s a gift too if you can open up your heart and treasure the goodness of this friendship, congratz!

  4. MRC says:

    I’m not quite sure how to say this without being too obvious, but let’s just say that some so-called friends do things that even animals won’t do, and they would even fuck your husband if they can just to spite you.

    These is what in equal manner guy friends can be sometimes to another guy – all bcoz of rivalry, kiasu etc?? to show-off or to get more GF attention??

    Anyway good lar mammarazi alias Kathy is one of your good chi mui though not in same age range

    • Cleffairy says:

      Nah… some ladies are just like snakes… venomous…and they do it because they’re plain bitchy, I guess. They have fun seeing others suffer… that’s all.

      Yes, Mamarazzi is a very good person…generous and all…and she taught me a lot of things too. She made a better person out of me, and you dun find such friends everyday. I’m simply blessed to have a friend like her, i guess.

    • Cleffairy says:

      Tsk tsk tsk… agak liao u gonna say that. LOL. But dowan la put arnab meat in the bihun, we must go makan SATAY arnab…grill the arnab kao kao den baru makan…. like this oni can buang sway!

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