To add or not to add?

I received sms from one my uncles a couple of days ago, which is rather unusual, because he never keep in touch with me for God knows since when despite the fact that he is my father’s younger brother.

We used to be closed… he used to bring me for walks and play with me and whatnot when I was a little girl, but our relationship somehow grew apart when I went to college.

Our relationship grew further apart when my grandmother passed away and got even worst when his children, my cousins…annoyed me to death by being freeloaders. They like to take the easy way out and when they get into all sort of trouble, they will look up my father, who… out of pity, will bail them out countlessly til one day, got sick of them.

I… I don’t like my cousins. It is not that I do not appreciate the fact that we’re of same blood, but… you know, sometimes…it’s really sickening to hear from my parents about them.  Of course it doesn’t  help it too that they used to play all sort of pranks and get me and my sister into trouble when we were children too. Yes. They’re the sort of disaster that my sister and I would like to avoid at all cost.

Only last month, my cousin asked my father for RM5,000. She said it was for starting business. My father was wary of all this nonsense as this is not the first time she asked money from him. Each and every single time, she concoct all sort of excuses to ask money from my father. Same goes with her younger brother. They’re both just the same.

This time, my father told her off politely, saying that if she really wants to start a business, then she should go to the bank, get her proposal approved and get some loans and whatnot as that is the correct way to do business. Each and every time she’d ask to borrow money from him…but God knows how much she owed my father by now!

Is it called borrowing if you never intend to return it? This is nothing but bullshit, and I’m glad my father finally told her off. Don’t get me wrong. My family and I do not mind helping if they are really in need, but each and every time… we do not know where the money goes to, and what’s more, they are living in luxury. New cars, new handphones and gadgets all the time, fashionable clothes, etc. In my humble opinion, these people do not know how to live within their means.

I do not understand why such people exists, and I can’t believe how thick-faced they are. I always have financial issue. God knows how many times I cried because of financial problems before I sleep. And God knows how many sleepless days and night I have to go through thinking about money. I complained to no one. (Okay, maybe I did complain to close friends to let the steam off, but I never once ask to borrow anything from them)

My husband and I work our ass off to make ends meet, and the car that we’re using right now is even a second hand car that’s more than 10 years old. We barely survive with what we have in our savings account every goddamn month, but we never, ever asked help from anyone… not even our parents. We rather work our butts off than beg around for money from our relatives. We rather use a bloody car that gives us trouble most of the time than borrow some money from our parents or relatives so that we can travel in style.

When we’re insufficient of funds, I would add more classes and extend my teaching hours. I would also take extra editing projects and writing projects. I burn the midnight oil to the point my hormone gone imbalance and my doctor warns me to take it easy for the fear of hypertension.

My husband on the other hand, would also do his part by extending his working hours and take in more project. We never once take the easy way out by asking money from people just because we find it hard to pay the bills at the end of the day.

When I really couldn’t take it… I would call my father… you know… just to hear his voice, to hear him ask me if everything is okay… but never to ask anything from him. I don’t want him to worry about me. He deserves better than a whiny daughter who cannot stand up on her own.

I want to make my father proud… besides… each time I’m down, his voice have a rather magical effect on me. His voice never failed to remind me of words he once told me when I was a child. “I am a lion” (he’s born under the sign of Leo) ” And therefore, you should be a lioness. And lioness are strong and hold their own”

I can never understand… why… my cousins(yes… plural… not just one of them but a couple of them!) cannot do the same, and each time they have ‘financial’ issue, they’d simply call up my father and ask for money to be credited into their account! Who did they think my father is? A walking ATM machine? What rights do they have to simply ask money from my father when none of his daughters did that when they’re facing financial problems?

Okay, I admit… each time my father visit me I’d go on my daddy’s little girl mode and ask him to treat me with my favourite food or my favourite home-cook food. But that cannot be considered the same, can it? That is as far as it goes, and it did not involved money, and it is something he and my mother willingly give as a token of their love and affection.

Anyway… just a couple of days after my cousin asked for money from my father, her father, my uncle contacted me via sms. He was asking me if I have a Facebook account. I lied. Yes, I LIED. I said, NO. I don’t have a Facebook account and when he asked me to sign up for a Facebook account, I told him that I’m not exactly IT literate. I know this tactic. He’s been using it for ages. Each time he or my cousins failed to get money from my father, they’d go through me, hoping that I will persuade my father on their behalf, considering that my father hardly refuse me for I am always his little princess.

I don’t mean to shut my uncle out of my life like this… but sometimes… I get tired of his family’s nonsense and I am wary of listening to him asking me to help my cousins out too when nobody actually cares if I have any problems or not. Sometimes… I wish I can love and respect my uncle and my cousins the way I did when I was a little girl… but what can I say now? Not much…to me, sometimes, to be kind, you need to be cruel.

Cleffairy: Won’t you agree with me that sometimes, to be kind, you need to be cruel?


  1. Nighwing says:

    As i was reading this..Abba’s song was playing at the back ground (2nite is in Abba’s song mood), song that was playing “Winner Takes it All”…u and ur hubby are winners…don;t let any one say otherwise.

    U r doing what is rite…good that ur dad reached a limit. Hopefully they will take a hint…abt getting loans from bank.


    • Cleffairy says:

      They owe my dad more than 10k liao. Everytime say borrow, borrow, borrow… den borrow liao never return, pretend such things never happened. I wish my dad hit his limits earlier, could have invest in better things than support their way of life with that money!

    • Cleffairy says:

      🙁 My dad has always been generous beyond his means, much to my mother’s chagrin. They have always taken advantage of him, but I guess this time it’s too much.

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