When God makes your life a blockbuster movie…

As an author, I believe that God spent a lot of his time plotting my life and making high quality scripts for me. He must have saw it fit to give me a life that has a plot of a blockbuster movie. You must be wondering why I’m saying all this. It is simple, my precious ones, my life, it’s far cry from normal.

It’s more like a roller coaster ride, or rather, a stormy sea in which I’m in the danger of drowning if I do not sail and navigate with great care. I’ve always wanted a normal, peaceful life, but, He wants my life to be very interesting. I used to resent that. All I ever want is a normal life, with love and serenity in a package.But I no longer resent it.

God must have wanted to inspire me through my own very life, and making me lead a life that resembles somewhat a blockbuster and a thriller movie, where I have a secret identity and constantly fighting the bad guys in the forms of people around me. In many ways… my life resembles a chess game where I struggle to protect myself from being eliminated and consumed by the people around me, even my loved ones. Depressing? Well, that’s the lemon of my life, something I embrace with my whole being right this moment.

Last years… God decided to spice up my life a little bit by lighting up a torch for me in order to let me see the truth about my life, and the people around me. Being human, I had no idea that He was enlightening me. I blamed Him for every single thing that happened, and I feel as if I’m being punished for the things I haven’t even done.

My human eyes were not powerful enough to let me see His revelations. Naturally, my beliefs for Him flew out of the window and beyond. I told myself… He does not exists, because He was not making my life better nor comfort me. I felt alone, and darkness began to consume me, inch by inch.

Things gets more and more worst by the day, and last November was the month of turbulence for me. I felt betrayed and hurt beyond redemption.

God decided to rescue me from darkness by giving me many pointers and hints along the way, and I began to realize that every single thing that I was forced to endure, happened for a reason. The reason is simple. It is for me to see clearly. To show me…to knock senses into my almost malfunctioned brain.

God showed me, that my life is full of hypocrites. Nobody could be trusted wholeheartedly, especially those whom I thought I can trust my life with. God showed me, that I am not always important in someone’s heart.

God showed me, that I shall not always be protected, for in the eyes of the human, I am like a speck of dust. I can be dismissed with a mere gust of wind, and they would not feel a single thing about it. Yes…God revealed to me so many things, and I am very thankful that he finally bestowed me the wisdom to unravel His revelations.

God is great. Praise Him, for he showed me that in truth, my life is full of ungrateful people who forgets their roots when they are rich and successful, and nothing lasts forever. God showed me, that my life is full of Pagan whores who worships demons and drink contaminated blood in delight and pure enjoyments.

He made me see that people in my life… doesn’t believe in Him, and therefore, they cannot count their blessing and nothing is ever enough for them, and instead of being thankful for what they have and cherish whatever that’s bestowed upon them, they greedily ask for more.

They will never be grateful or feel blessed, because they did not allow God to be in their hearts and let the demons rule their heart and minds instead. Instead of taking life as a blessing in itself… they blame everyone for everything except for themselves, and they demand people to tolerate their wants and ways, as if they own the world and everything has to revolves around nothing but them, and only them.

Those people… they are shortsighted. They only think of temporary, worldly enjoyment rather than looking on how to live life in the long run and being responsible for the lifestyle they chose.

Those are the people in my life…those I should be aware of… those who will walk away from me when I needed them most, and those who cannot wait to drink my blood and delight in it. It is a small comfort to know that God is with me, and as long as I seek protection from Him and have faith, nothing could ever harm me.

It saddens me that sometimes, the people that I love could not understand the concept of blessing and gratefulness and scorn people who are God fearing. They have absolute disrespect towards other’s way of life and beliefs, and yet, they demand people to respect and honour theirs. they are the kind of people who only wants to take and never give.

My life may resembles of those superheroes movies where I constantly need to battle the monsters around me, but in truth, I am powerless. I am powerless against the greed and the flaws of humanity.

I could do nothing to change it or force people to repent and be grateful for their blessings. The best thing I can do is pray and hope that one day, God will bless them and grace them with His presence.

Cleffairy: God, please grant me serenity for the things I cannot change. Please, give me peace and I pray for wisdom. Protect me, and shield me, for there are evil and demons who tries to harm me and drink my blood and delight in my pain.

ps: When God makes your life a blockbuster movie, then live like a movie star.


  1. claire says:

    when i said blockbuster, the first movie that came to my mind is Titanic… a love story, no doubt a sad ending but the heroine has found her true love in a matter of days in the stricken ship… life full of passion and same time malice, a time to rejoice and a time to heal… Blockbuster or not, lets pray each day that He will guide our paths, lead us where He wants us to be and grant us protection wherever we are…

  2. eugene says:

    I just love reading this entry of yours, let us all make ourselves movie stars, bringing glory to God, standing on the pedestral exclaiming him to be the greatest………

    thank God for you too

    • Cleffairy says:

      There’s too much evil beings in my life, Eugene, in the form of people. God saw it fit to make my live a thriller and not smut romance… and therefore, I have to act like a movie star. LOL… duzzin make sense? Duzzin matter. I am almost looney anyway.

  3. Cheeyee says:

    when life is tough, I always believe things happen for some reasons. That’s how I can be strong and get them over. I know CNY is still one week ahead, but still want to wish you Happy Chinese New Year! May the year of Tiger, bring you more strength and wisdom. 🙂

    • Cleffairy says:

      God showed me mercy, for he held up his torch for me to see clearly. I am far from strong, Cheeyee… the only thing i can do now is desperately pray for protection. Blardy hell, dun greet me Happy CNY la… sobsob! Wish me Happy Valentine’s day instead. I’ll feel better. *groan*

    • Cleffairy says:

      Got witches and nenek kebayan too. OMg, takut… I faster pray now!

      Angel of God, my guardian dear
      To whom God’s love commits me here
      Ever this day (night) be at my side
      To light and guard, to rule and guide. Amen

  4. fatty oldman says:

    i oso hope god gv me a better life as till now i never really enjoy my life as thre really hard task he try to challenge n breakdown me…anyhow i must accept his challenge no matter what as i knew life stil need to go on no matter what…my life so challenging till smts i thot end it beter than live to suffer… 😡

    • Cleffairy says:

      I can’t help you, kawan. Life is very bad, isn’t it? Full of suffering… and I thought of taking my life too, but I guess, I’m too much of a coward to do so. Hence… still alive, suffering. LOL… I’ll pray for you my friend.

      Lord Jesus, through the power of the Holy Spirit, go back into my memory as I sleep. Every hurt that has ever been done to me, heal that hurt. Every hurt that I have ever caused another person, heal that hurt. All the relationships that have been damaged in my whole life that I am not aware of , heal those relationships. But, O Lord, if there is anything that I need to do, If I need to go to a person because he or she is still suffering from my hand, bring to my awareness that person. I choose to forgive, and I ask to be forgiven. Remove whatever bitterness may be in my heart, Lord, and fill the empty spaces with your love. Amen.

  5. CHVoon says:

    This is called life. Everyone has their own path of the life.
    Your life is wonderful and special.
    Life just like a movie… it is depend what you want to be act …

    Happy chinese new year to you. take care! cheers!

  6. fufu says:

    yeah everyone is looking for a God when he/she is lost… lucky i still dont need a God =p all i need is just a life companion that would showering me with lots of love and guide me when i am lost. i certainly dont need a God… no offense though =)

    • Cleffairy says:

      None taken. I used to be like you… but my trust for human is all but fled. 🙁 Betrayed and been hurt countless times…I got hopeless… I am glad that everything is a smooth sailing for you.

    • Cleffairy says:

      Let’s swap… lol…I wouldn’t mind being a dentist, work in Japan, and dun nid to celebrate CNY or see evil beings or sorceresses! LOL… wan swap? Let’s swap!!! LOL….Aiyo… that’s a joke…

      Here’s a useful prayer, Manglish… dunno ur a believer or not, but the words can be comforting.

      God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change; courage to change the things I can; and the wisdom to know the difference. Amen

  7. fatty oldman says:

    nooo…taking life its a stupid thing as we r born to challenge not born a coward thats y i told u i nvr scared of death…i wont die stupidly but willing die for a better cause… 😉

    as long u got any closed frens do reveal to them what u had as a person more shared ur bitterness a lesser burden…ppl might cant help but ppl can care n standby or support… 🙂

  8. ericlee says:

    you know what, i’m really curious what do you do for living…LOL

    you there’s a saying that atheists and free thinkers seemed more destined to Heaven because they practice much more moral values…which is kinda true seeing what’s going on lately…I am a free thinker by heart actually and i do believe that God had guide us in many ways but at the same time, we are the ones who had to choose to follow the guides or not…how you go about your negativity issues should be practiced by everyone be it aethists, free thinkers, Islamic, bla bla bla…then world would be a better place…..but it definitely won’t be a much interesting place too, human needs conflict in order to grow…

    • Cleffairy says:

      LOL? My blogger friend Pete would have told you that I’m your friendly neighborhood superhero working as a reporter in Boleh Planet. LOL… but in truth, I work as a freelance editor. LOL… I used to be a journalist, but decided to delve into a milder branch of journalism. 🙁 Getting rather tired or chasing news around. I must be getting older.

      True, in some ways, free thinking is closer to god than anybody would ever admit. Most would live with honour and integrity intact, unlike those extremist. I was one… or should I say, I was an agnostic. But things happened to me last year that made me search Him…cuz I feel that my relationship with human never last, and nothing is permanent-it duzzin matter if things are good or bad, nothing lasts forever. Not even love. I’m not a religious person, mind you…it’s just that I need something… something solid to hang on to, to believe, so that there’s little comfort for me in my life.

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