I’ve been rather busy and I think it’s been awhile since I sat down and write. I mean write, not update or do write ups for my travels and whatnot. Yes. It’s been awhile, isn’t it?

Truth be told, it’s not that I don’t want to, it’s just that I don’t feel like sharing stuff that’s really in my head…some things are just too personal.

Anyway…I suppose those who are in my circle or have been following my blog would know by now that I have a special need child, and there are times where I will rant and vent about it, but this time around, I won’t be doing that. Instead, I would like to share something with all of you parents out there.

It has come to my attention that there are plenty of children out there who is like my own- has autism and most of the parents are either not aware about it or are in the state of denial.

For those who are not aware about autism, here’s some sign you might want to take note in your children’s behaviour:

Signs of autism

*Inappropriate playing with toys
*Lacks of social skill
*Non-verbal/lacks communication skills
*Inability to relate to others
*Hyperactivity/passiveness
*Have no sense of danger
*Oversensitive or not sensitive to sound/taste (often refered as sensory processing disorder)
*Inability to control emotions
*Inappropriate crying or laughing
*Difficulty in changing of routine
* Lack danger awareness

My child ticks almost all of the checklist up there, and to be honest, for the first few years of his life was pretty much dark and depressing for me. I did not know how to deal with my son and people labeled me as a bad mother with damaged goods. I couldn’t deal with the society’s questions and critism like:

*Why isn’t your son talking? Why he doesn’t make any eye contact?

*Why is he still in diapers? Why didn’t you toilet train him?

*Stop spoiling him and stop him from rolling and kicking the floor

*Why isn’t he eating rice? Why is he so picky?

*Why does he scream and cry all the time

*Why he hates to bathe?

*Why can’t he sit still?

All these questions distress me. But little did I know that these are typical characteristic that a child with autism portrays and there’s medical explanation and terms to describe all of these.

If you found yourself in the same predicament as I was, please…do yourself a favour. Do not ever blame yourself, or your spouse for your child’s condition. Negligence is not the cause of autism. Nobody knows what causes it and it is not a disease, but a disorder.

Being in denial will not help. The first step to help your child improve is to embrace autism and accept them as they are and stop trying to teach your child like a normal child.

People with autism are unique, and therefore the way you deal with them is equally different and unique. You should never be ashamed of them, and there are plenty of support group out there that can help you deal with your autistic children and listen to your distress and grouse.

When I say support group, I mean a real one…one where you get advises and tips from parents who are dealing with children with autism on day to day basis as primary caregivers not ‘people’ or ‘professional’ who talked based on books or theories. This is one of the support group that has been my sanctuary for about one year: https://www.facebook.com/groups/AutismParentsSupport/

They have helped me tremendously. My child has gone from:

*Inability to relate to public and having meltdowns to able to enjoy people’s companionship

*Wearing diapers to fully toilet-trained

*Picky eater to wanting to try food offered to him

*Completely non verbal to developing eccolalia

There are plenty more milestone I would like to list here, but to cut long story short, I would like to stress that early intervention helps, and should you feel that something is amiss and think your child has autism, you will find this particular support group helpful, so stop being in denial or ashamed of autism. There is nothing to be ashamed of. Autism is not a disease. It’s just a disorder, and with right attitude, you CAN help your child. But before helping your child, do yourself a favour and stop blaming yourself or your spouse for your children’s ‘inappropriate behaviour’ or lack of milestones during various stage of growing up.

Cleffairy: Dealing with autism is like putting together an incomplete picture puzzle. You’re always picking up the pieces and guessing the picture.