Frequency of sex: Is this normal?

A recent conversation with ladies who have been married for more than 15 years inspired me to write this article, so before you guys leave me some funny comment to ask me whether I’m not satisfied with my sex life, I’d clearly state here that the answer is no. I’m blissfully happy with what I have now, and I don’t think I could ask for more.

Testimonial aside. Here goes nothing-Men are not the only creature who have sex on their minds most of the time. Their counterpart have sex in their minds too.

Some of you out there might think that I’m going looney for saying this as it is general knowledge that men’s brains are full of sexual and hot stuff, isn’t it? Some chauvinist might even say that thoughts about sex should only be reserved for men, and for the pleasure of men alone as it would be more proper for women to fill their heads with other matters such as housekeeping, childbearing, etc. But then again, women all around the world, young and old, professional or just a homemaker thinks about sex too. If you’re not a woman, then you would be surprised that women’s heads are as dirty as you men out there.

I am not talking about this matter merely because I think about sex and whatnot frequently, but because I realize that a lot of women in general thought about sex almost as often as men too, only in different ways, and perhaps in a more discreet and refined way.

Men would proudly admit that they have sex in their mind while women mostly would go hush hush about it and do not announce to the world that she’s thinking about sex and whatever activities that’s related to it. A lot of people do not know that women too have sex related thoughts in their mind most of the times too because women usually only discuss such matter when she’s in her own circle of friends or in private.

Most men would nonchalantly talk about how great their performance was with their partner on the bed(and off the bed). They could go on and on and boast about how large their penis is or how huge is their dickhead . They even boast on how they excel in deep penetration during sexual intercourse with their wife, girlfriend or whores. But women are different. Women do talk about such stuff too, but then again, usually to her most trusted friend.

Men watches porn shamelessly in group or in private. Women on the other hand, loves to read romance novel with steamy and passionate contents that could make even the most pious and pristine nun blush. It’s the same;which is to arouse, but different in some ways, isn’t it?

But anyway, we’re not here to discuss about it and argue on whose head are filled with more sexual thoughts. That’s just a plain warm up. I’d like to talk about insatiable. In a more crude way to say it-sexually unsatisfied though the act has been performed more than once in a short period of time.

For those who have been in a relationship and is sexually active with their respective partner would probably know that during the first few month, and even first few years of the relationship, the frequency of their sexual intercourse is rather incredible. A couple could have a go at it for at least once or twice a day. For those who have stamina and libido for it, probably would have sex with each other up to three or more in just one day.

Imagine that! Getting all hot, wet and bothered more than three times a day, and that’s not just limited to the bedroom. Who could have thought human have the capabilities to perform the act of intimacy so frequently and in so many impossible places? It’s like a marathon, isn’t it? Even then, after having sex for more than two or three times in one day would leave both wanting more. Clinging to each other, desperately wanting and begging for more though the heart is more willing than the body.

During the first few month or years(usually 2 years), sexual intercourse and foreplays are like a very potent drug. Sex made couples addicted to it, and wanting more and more, and even though they are sexually satisfied, they are insatiable. One could never get enough of it. They couldn’t keep their hands off from each other, and would experiment with each other’s body in a way that would probably make the long dead author of Kamasutra goes green with envy. They’d try S&M, role-playing and all sort of things they’ve heard of.

Then slowly after some time or after a few years, the same couple would reduce their escapade and adventure on the bed to probably once in every three days. Things goes comfortably, slow and easy. Couples made love to each other passionately, tenderly and lovingly. They are still addicted to each other and they would feel that something is wrong if they don’t have sex with each other frequently. Their creativity are somehow dampened, and they are no longer spirited and wild in bed.

And then comes the time  of relationship where couples have sex only once a week and the act are no longer passionate, but a mere routine just to satisfy their sexual needs, sparing themselves from D.I.Y, or in other words, masturbation. And after being satisfied, both partner, or either one of them would either extricate themselves from each other, rolled over onto his or her side of the bed and snore off to wonderland. Slowly, without realizing it, the spark of passion that’s used to be easily ignitedwould die off, and sexual intercourse would be a thing of the past an done could live without it.

And when the couples who are thrown into such predicament finally realized their sexual gap with each other desired the kind of sexual relationship that they used to have wanted to renew or rejuvenate their passion, they would either be too ashamed to ask for it or fear rejection. This is where infidelities and scandalous extra-marital affairs started.

Following the ‘progress’ of sexual journey of most couple with steady relationship, yours truly wondered if one could truly get bored or immune with sex and the art of seduction. And in general, yours truly wondered even more on the declining frequency of high quality sexual performance after some times being together. Fatigue and other life commitments should not be an issue if one truly wants to have sex and please his or her partner.

Consummation of love has always been associated with sexual intimacies. As far as I’m concern, no healthy man or woman in a steady relationship, regardless of their sexual preference would volunteer to live the life of a celibate. It is important to have a happy and healthy sexual life. But it’s even more important to remember to keep your partner/spouse sexually happy and not get bored with each other to avoid the downfall of a relationship caused by sexual dissatisfaction as unlike financial problems, passion and sex is something we could actually control, as we are the master of our minds and bodies. So, ladies and gentlemen, let’s not let the fire of passion dies out if we could help it.

Cleffairy: Sex can be a key to happiness, but sex too, can destroy whatever bliss life could offer.


  1. cleffairy says:

    Jo… I still got a lot to learn lah!

    Seng… jie is not sex master. LMAO… jie tell you sth… PetPetGirl onli sex master…. ahahahaha….

    Chris…mwhahahaha…. glad I got your attention! Hmmm…

    Calvin… aiyo… i should learn from you wan la… you very creative wan wud… *grinz*

  2. amoker says:

    I want to learn too. keke

    Well, i have a friend ( it is not me, since not married) who said the same. And now, she avoid the husband cause she is not happy any more after 3 kids.

  3. KevinP says:

    Aiyo.. Clef.. my colleague showed me somewhere a story of a girl that can have 200 orgasm a day.. broke off with the bf because he cannot fulfil her “needs”.. so what is your topic again?

  4. cleffairy says:

    Amoker… gogo, learn! I support you! You know, i think your friend’s case is quite normal. i hate to admit it, but falling out of love and lust is possible!

    …. WALAO…. real anot? 200 orgasm a day! WTF….orgasm machine ka, that woman? Break off wif the bf cuz he can’t satisfy her needs? OMG, that’s a little bit melampau, isn’t it? Satisfaction in bed is something that both partner should work together to achieve!

  5. Lisalicious says:

    I think that a moderation of sex for both parties are enough to maintain the ongoing relationship…

    sometimes when one party has more urge than the other, it could overwhelm the other party to an extend of suffocation!!! Hence, the break up…

    or perhaps one party’s urge was way too low than a normal standard human being that the other couldn’t get satisfied enough, hence the break up……

    if a relationship without sex makes the relationship dull…. of course too much of it makes it like a job to handle after work…..

    nice post!

  6. cleffairy says:

    Welcome to my humble blog, Lisa. 😛 I agree with you that if a couple maintain their sex life properly-as in not being too demanding and insatiable or being constantly interested in each other sexually, their relationship will go well.


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