How do I love thee…

It’s Valentines day today. A time for lovers all around the world to celebrate the glory of their love, and a time to confess one’s heart to his or her loved ones. Valentines, commonly known as V-day among the modern people these days are time for love, for joy, for hope, for flowers and for chocolates. For some young, hotblooded teenagers, Valentine day is also the perfect time to lure their partner and get laid. In other words, V-day is generally a day to exchange expensive and non expensive gifts as well as a good time to trick some foolish girls to have some hot pent-up one night stand with you in the name of ‘love’.

I don’t know how the rest of you here define V-day, but that’s how I see modern Valentine’s Day as. Another day to get dupe-by those who actually commercialized Valentine’s Day. You know who they are. The florists, the chocolate makers, the jewellers, the hotels, fancy restaurants, etc etc. I say it’s a day to get duped because the prices of those ‘Valentine’s items’ are disgustingly expensive on 14th February. A stalk of a single red rose alone could cost a bomb, what’s more chocolates, jewelries and fine dining. If one is not careful enough while spending on V-day, one could actually end up with credit card debts by the end of the day.

When I was a teenager, I did not know much about the real meaning of Valentine’s Day. I only knew that it’s the day where I can receive roses from my admirers without getting some nasty 2 hours lecture from my mother on the importance of studying and not dating.

I did not really know what is Valentine’s is all about, but as I grew up, I discovered that there’s more to Valentine’s Day than exchanging gifts with friends of opposite sex and receiving love letters and presents from my admirers. Valentine’s Day is about loving your loved ones, and appreciating them with all of your heart. It’s all about loving and caring, not spending some disgusting amount of money to buy presents for someone.

Personally, I think it’s all right to give something as a token of appreciation to your partner if your pocket can afford it, after all, it’s your own hard earned money you’re spending. You have a say on how you should spend it, and no one should give damn on how you spend your money. (Of course, there’s an exception to that. I’ve always thought that my mom, dad, and my other half should say something if I spent very unwisely.) Yes, people, it’s all right to buy gifts to your loved ones on 14th February every year. It is also all right to give your husband or wife a soul shattering kiss or a few ‘I love you’ on Valentine’s Day. I think there’s nothing wrong in those private/public display of affection. And it is also all right to make love to your spouse til you’re all spent and satiated too on Valentine’s night. Absolutely nothing wrong about it.

But is it right just to treat your partner or spouse right on 14th February every year when you mistreat him or her on other days? Is it all right to be a mushy poet just on Valentine’s Day when you practically yell, and spout vulgar words at your other half the rest of the year? Is it all right just to caress and make love to your partner when you practically abuse them mentally or physically day in, day out on other days? Is it all right just to be good and behave on Valentine’s Day to your partner when on other time that is not Valentine’s Day, you’re a top bitch or bastard?

Do take note that even though Valentine’s Day is about love and whatever that comes with it, it’s not a day for you to compensate and try to redeem yourselves for the bad things you have done to your partner. It is definitely not a day to be a romantic and pretended to repent when the next day, you continued your bad ways. If you want to love someone in a romantic and pampering way, do you actually need a day or a reason to do so?

To me, the answer is no. Love and romance should be a part of your life, not just a thing that you actually show and do on occasion. Why must you do something you don’t usually do-like buy flowers, blings- blings, write love notes to your partner on Valentine’s Day just because everyone else seems to do it? Why must you spend disgusting amount of money on this day just to ‘please’ your partner when it’s cheaper and more practical to do so on normal days? Isn’t this abit too pretentious, dear readers? Why must you act out of character just because everyone else is doing so?

To me, the best way to show your affection to your loved ones is not buying and giving them what money can buy, but giving them what money can never buy, which is your utmost devotion and affection to them for the rest of your lives. You know, the ‘love you til death do us apart’, ‘for better or worst’ or the ‘for as long as we both shall live’ business. Now, tell me, what else could beat this precious gift?

Cleffairy: Call me lame, boring and a party pooper, but I really don’t mind not getting anything for Valentine’s Day as long as I could spend the rest of my lives being loved by my other half til the day that I breathe my last.

Here’s a little something for the one I love and you lovers out there.I bid you happy Valentine’s Day.

How do I love thee- by Elizabeth Barret Browning

How do I love thee? Let me count the ways.
I love thee to the depth and breadth and height
My soul can reach, when feeling out of sight
For the ends of being and ideal grace.
I love thee to the level of every day’s
Most quiet need, by sun and candle-light.
I love thee freely, as men strive for right.
I love thee purely, as they turn from praise.
I love thee with the passion put to use
In my old griefs, and with my childhood’s faith.
I love thee with a love I seemed to lose
With my lost saints. I love thee with the breath,
Smiles, tears, of all my life; and, if God choose,
I shall but love thee better after death.


  1. Krista says:

    Cleffairy: You so echo my thoughts! I find it utterly silly that for one day in a year, everyone turns on their love thoughts. What about the other days? What about everyday? That’s why I don’t really care much about getting flowers or not on V Day. I’m a practical gal, I want food for my tummy haha. And it does not have to be on V Day because as you said, fine dining costs a bomb. I guess material displays of love don’t move me because anyone with a bigger wallet can outdo you anytime. But true love. True love is the stuff that moves mountains. True love is about being patient while we struggle with iffy, dirty toilets in shopping malls. True love is about being a good listener when we just want to grumble. True love is about eating our homecooked food even though the food is a bit oversalted! True love is not about 399 teddy bears or 600 flowers. Happy V-Day to you too. At least commonsense reigns for some of us.

  2. chrisau says:

    This is exactly what I told my wife on V day… we can make it everyday as V day instead of spending mindlessly and fall into the prey of some commercial tricks. hmm..btw, my wife is a florist.. 😛

  3. Celine says:

    Clef, you are so right! And you are not lame! I am having the same thought as you! I just want to spend every moment with Honey B! And I really don’t mind of not getting any pressie. However, I think Honey B always “sik” do one 😀

  4. eugene says:

    Nothing can be important than giving love, respect, cares, concern for our spouse than doing it once a year. I am not against Valentine, but i wont buy any present on this day.

    We have to love our spouse for 365 days, even through thick and thin, i always long forward to spending my old days with my wife holding hand in hand, walking around Eiffel Tower, if that is not possible, Petronas Towe will suffice…

    good post dear

  5. KevinP says:

    Call me an unromantic guy… the only time I bought roses on V Day was when I was in upper six.. :).

    Even my wife does not get anything from me on V day.. :).

    Cheap skate.. yeah…

    We dine at mamak on VDay.. we window shop at Tesco Extra on VDay… and walked to our friendly DVD store and bought a few DVDs and watch DVD. Its what we do after watching DVD that defines VDay.. then again.. thats another story..

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