Tale of Bolehtica

Once upon a time, there’s a kingdom underwater. It was call Bolehtica and was ruled by a king who goes by the name Big Bad Lala.

In that kingdom, there’s a mermaid by the name of Tessa. She’s such a kind-hearted mermaid, and is very, very opiniated. The mer-people loves her, not just because of her beauty, but because of her kindness towards the people. They also admire her courage to voice up what she think is wrong. She is the mer-people’s voice. She do whatever she could in her power to make sure that her people’s complaints are heard. She spoke truth with conviction. Be it water pollution issues, or deep-sea fishing that is done by the human who lived on land that is threatening the lives aquatic lives.

Big Bad Lala who inherited the throne after the old king decided to retire is a complete bloke who is capable of nothing but screw up the kingdom. Big Bad Lala really lives to his name. He behaves like a sick and bad clam more than a merman. He have the tendency to fall asleep and hide inside his ‘shell’ almost everywhere he go. When the kingdom is in a mess, the new king simply order his people to clean up the mess he made by hook or by crook.

Tessa, the kind mermaid’s heart broke for her beloved kingdom, because Bolehtica used to be a prosperous underwater kingdom but not anymore since King Big Bad Lala ascend the throne. Unfortunately for Tessa, she have no power to go against the powerful king who have a lot of minions and underlings who is serving him, even though she is a strong-willed young mermaid.

King Big Bad Lala is definitely not a favourite among his citizens, because they felt that he is incapable of ruling fairly. The mer-people started to dig dirty little secrets about King Big Bad Lala and his court and printed whatever news or rumours on various medium, such as Aquatic Presses as well as the Interquatic system that function to spread news underwater. People wanted the king to be dethrone badly.

The king is very unhappy about what is going on in Bolehtica. He might be a sleepyhead, but he is definitely sly and not dumb. He have a lot of minions who are serving him and would gladly pleases him for the sake of power and wealth. The king wanted to take control of what is going on in his kingdom before it’s too late and he gets dethrone by his bloodthirsty enemy who is lusting for his throne.

The king gets restless by each passing day as the rumours and gossip that has been spread went out of control. So he summon one of his underling who is a bald giant squid. The bald giant squid is called Harr Mee. He is a sea wizard who practices black magic with the power to stun and shut people up, and throw them into a cold cave to be treated like the lowest scum alive in Bolehtica.

The king had decreed for Harr Mee to stop the mer-people from speaking ill of him. Harr Mee is in dilemma, because it’s not entirely possible to stop people from speaking ill of the king. Even with all of his wizardy power, stopping the people from talking is not possible. Harr Mee himself is aware that the king is useless, but he is definitely not going to say anything about it, because he is well fed by the king.

Despite of being a not so bright squid he is, he manage to come up with an evil genius idea, which is to instill terror among the mer-people. He know that by doing so, it ought to at least reduce people from talking too much about the king. The mer-people would at least be more careful of what they talk about if something scares them from doing so.

Harr Mee then look into his crystal ball to see which mer-people are suitable to be used to instill terror among the citizens. The crystal ball started to glow as Harr Mee look into it, and the image of one mer-man and two mermaid appeared in the crystal ball. Harr Mee cackled in satisfaction and maneuvered outside of the cave he is living in. He then raise up his tentacles and chant some spell in his horrible voice.

Squid ink started to engulf him as he completed the spell, and as the ink began to dissolve in the seawater around him, the three mer-people appeared before him. They are entrapped inside a giant bubble, gagged and tied up to avoid them from popping the bubble and escape to safety.

One of these mer-people is the beautiful and loquacious Tessa who spoke for her people every now and then. Another two are rather famous people in press and media industry. Harr Mee laughed and thought to himself that this time, he really hit the jackpot.

Harr Mee then call the press and did a press conference, announcing that he has locked them up because he think that they are a threat to Bolehtica. He told the mer-people who are present at that moment that who dares to speak ill about what is going in Bolehtica and speak the truth about Big Bad Lala’s incapability to rule, will also be treated like scum. In other words, whoever is as outspoken as those three mer-people that he caught will definitely be screwed.

Meanwhile, the three mer-people who were caught by Harr Mee was sent to three different location by Harr Mee’s apprentice to be locked up.

Tessa was sent to a cold and horrible place, and was treated like a scum. She was given food that is usually served to pets like seal, which is rotten fish. They did not feed her enough. They wanted to mentally and physically torture her so that her spirit would be broken and consequently instill terror among the people. She grew thinner and paler by each passing day.

This angered the citizens of Bolehtica. Bolehtica is an independent country and supposed to practice freedom of speech and expression as well as democracy. The citizens know that this should not be allowed to happen, because God knows when, it’ll be their turn to suffer like the three mer-people.

Harr Mee did not expect such thing to happen. The effect is totally opposite of what he expected it would be. So the not so bright squid released the two mermaid, but kept the merman in captive, because the merman have the biggest mouth of all, and is capable to dig out whatever scandal Big Bad Lala has.

Tessa who was released from captivity is not satisfied with the treatment given to her, and so, she told the press who are interested on how she was treated when she was in captive. She told them that she was fed awful food…she was fed pet food!

Her complaints made Harr Mee and his apprentice angry, and they retort that a prisoner should not be treated well like a guest or traveller. They should not be served decent food, and they must be treated like dirt.

While it is understandable that prisoners who are locked up are generally not well treated, what gives Harr Mee and his apprentice to treat a mermaid like a sea lion, and fed with rotten food? Is every single prisoner in Bolehtica is treated that way? If it is, then the pets in Bolehtica have much a better life.

The citizens of Bolehtica hunger for changes and crave for a better life in Bolehtica, but the question here is, will Bolehtica change and be a better place if Big Bad Lala is to be dethrone? Is it possible to dethrone Big Bad Lala anyway? Seeing how Big Bad Lala have so many underlings who are doing the dirty work for him, it seems that it is not possible for Bolehtica to regain it’s former glory.

Children, there are so many things about Bolehtica that cannot be answered in this tale, and if you want to know what happen to Bolehtica next, you’ll have to be good and go to sleep. I will spin the tale for you next time.

Cleffairy: Instilling terror in people does not mean one can stop another from thinking logically.

This entry is inspired by Calvin, who shared his tale of a man and starfishes.


  1. peteformation says:

    Calvin is as fast as Superman, only different is he wear his underwear inside lorrr, ha ha.
    Cleff, I published the vegetarian sambal petai recipe for you already in my vegan blog. Check it out.

  2. AnGeL says:

    I agree with you Lizzy, the Big Bad Lala is very irresponsible… he only kno how to hide in his clam when there are mess around him! Get rid of the bad lala, get rid of the bad lala! He is stinking the ocean!

  3. fergie says:

    hahahaha .. Big Bad Lala meets Neptune and gets speared and gutted!!!! Wah .. Calvin also hokkien speak ah? 😮 Squid we panggang eat .. maybe too jun cant chew hehe

  4. Sinatra_Z says:

    Trust me Tessa is not that popular nor is she loved in general terms.
    Many view her as a whiny person who fights about petty issues..

    OOoo they got Jawi written on the board, that is very unmalaysian or Why do they serve lousy food in prison!

  5. cleffairy says:

    Calvin… you don’t wear underwear? Den go commando around ah? LOL.

    Fergie, if only Neptune gut him out! If only…I wish I live to see the day that it happen, anyway, petrol price is reduced by 10 cent, affective 25th Sept at midnight. Will it help? Help me save abit, but not much… other things still haven’t been lower…and probably will not be lowered! Kanasai. Acting to gain popularity? Or trying to prolong the time for Big Bad Lala to sit on the throne?

    Sinatra, I know Tessa is not that popular in comparison to the real Little mermaid. Haha… I also know that she’s whiny and bitchy at times. However, it was said that some certain toyol from Selangor framed her to get caught by ISA…actually it’s revealed later that the mosque did not shout out the azan through the loudspeaker is because the loudspeaker was faulty, not because of the petition that she conduct? I’m not so sure…do you know anything about tis? Does anyone have the copy of that particular petition? Is it published anywhere?
    If I’m not mistaken, the people who signed the petition did not ask asked azan to be disallowed in that neigbourhood, but to reduce the volume of azan slightly. I did not know that this is actually an issue and such request cannot be tolerated at all, considering we are multi-racial country where people practices different religion. I think if such request cannot be tolerated at all, then Malaysia government is definitely practicing double standard… because other religions are not allowed to use loudspeaker at all to put their sermons or holy praising on air.

  6. lz says:

    this is cool!! XD

    keep up with the good work cleffairy!! Towards the end of the story (while i was reading) only I realized the underlying meaning. hahaha..

    am looking forward to reading more interesting tales!! XD shall i? 😉

  7. cleffairy says:

    LZ, thank you for the compliment. That was so nice of you. Stay tune for more freaky tales on Malaysian politics.

    Amoker, Calvin’s underwear to be exact. LOL… aiya… I’ll be sending kids to their bed, shivering and bed wetting if i were to publish anything like this for their reading pleasure.

  8. Sinatra_Z says:

    Regarding the statement you made about the Azan please refer it here..


    I, unlike many others in the internet actually do some research before making my conclusions.

    Nobody said she signed it.

    Unlike you I do think whining about the Azan is a petty issue because Azan lasts less than 2 minutes. I am pretty sure 2 minutes of shouting ALLAH will not destroy the Malaysian economy nor is it a cunning way of insulting other religions. OMG! They are having azan for 2 minutes ahhh bloody double standard muslims who are challenging our rights!

    That is my dear a Drama Queen…

  9. cleffairy says:

    Hang on, I’m confused here. Which statement is true? The Theresa or Khir’s statement? Both are contradicting each other. Which one is a liar? But considering they are Malaysian politician, I’ll keep in mind that both are possible liars with their own agenda.

    Since the request for requesting the azan’s volume on the loudspeaker to be reduced, den should I consider a Chinese funeral song or other religion’s holy hymn to be reduced the volume also a petty issue? Tink again… I think then you will say it’s not a petty issue.

    I live in Malaysia long enough to get used to azan’s sound, and one day, if it’s not aired, I would probably think that there’s something wrong. I would even feel scared, as if my country has been invaded by US creeps or something. I actually felt that it’s a good idea to continue to air azan, but at a slightly reduced volume… to me, the loudspeaker in mosque should be checked and maintain constantly too, not just because of the azan, but because in the time of emergency, like a disaster or something, the loudspeaker in the mosque can be served as an alarm to warn the citizens or to evacuate. Yes… I always think that mosque in Malaysia can serve much more than a place of devotion in the times of emergency.

    While I am FULLY aware that azan is not threatening the nation building process at all who is dumb enough to believe that azan can threatened country’s economic, anyway? But wouldn’t it be a nice and neighbourly thing to do by reducing it a little bit? Maybe on the scale of 10, reduce it to 9? Islam have always been a tolerating religion…where give and take has always been practiced since the prophet’s time.

    He even taught people to respect one another and thought people with gentleness and made people understand the religion instead of making people bow to him with aggression. His charisma had made people love him, and the religion itself. The prophet’s gentle teaching had made people want to be closer to God. I have read stories about him, and I respect that he manage to inspire so many people to embrace Islam.

    Why Malaysian Muslim cannot do the same? Don’t tell me now and then is different. What prophet teach, the devotees should also follow isn’t it? Isn’t it sunnah to follow what the prophet does?

    Maybe, just maybe, by always feeling that the Muslims/Malays are constantly threatened instead of making people understand what Islam really supposed to mean, that is the real cause of the non-Muslim are having Islamophobia instead of wanting to embrace the religion. Sad to see that. Islam has always promote peace and teaching in very gentle and dignified manner. Islam has always lead by example and inspiration of many. If only the Muslim in Malaysia spread Islamic in a gentle approach, I think there are many who are interested in Islam. Islam is definitely not only for Malays, it’s for everyone is it not?

  10. Pas De Deux says:

    Agree, but hey people *and I meant all people*… the best way to avoid the conflict and all those troublesome misunderstanding is just through KEEP YOUR BIG MOUTH SHUT!!! If some people can PRETEND they deaf then Malaysia can be a better place. Seriously, muslim and non-muslim people should know better than to argue about this stuff. If you want a quite and silent solitude atmosphere then move to other country… or better yet get the hell out of Malaysia. If some ppl doesn’t notice it yet, as Malaysians we’re living with all ppl with different races so just tolerate with whatever issues there is regarding races. So, in a nice word? Shut Up.

  11. cleffairy says:

    Sadly…not everyone is handicap. And very unfortunately, people loves to use religion as a politic issue to gain power and influence. Not to mention, manipulate people’s thinking and mindset and keep them in control. This, definitely applies to a lot of religion in many countries… just look at U.S…since beginning dunno when, there are crusade wars and stuff. Wan to cari pasal with others, dun hv other reason to use… religion, religion, religion. Actually, you see U.S there… not fight for wad la… for OIL only la.

  12. KevinP says:

    Sinatra, while you seek clarification from both, it does not add as to who is telling the truth…

    She was arrested.. so she was guilty? She is now released… so she is not guilty and that she is telling the truth? What can we derieve from all these? Will Toyo’s approach of griping on petty issues be akin to turning a molehill into a mountain?

    Teresa should know better than to gripe about this matter. And do you think it is worth Toyo’s efforts to continue harping on the matter?

  13. cleffairy says:

    The point here is… should an ISA detainee be fed with only two eggs in each meals? Even the prisoners in Malaysia gets better food, which is rice and veggies. Whether she is wrong or not, she’s still a human. While she is detained, why should she be treated more worst than a prisoner? Is this right?

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