Things I can get used to again ^_^

I mentioned in my previous blog post that my husband is studying again, didn’t I? Well… some people would say that studying and marriage does not exactly walk hand in hand as it is hard to juggle between your academic life and your family life, but I completely disagree. Why? Well, elementary my dear readers. When I first met my husband we were both just students. And when we’re together and blessed with a baby, we were still students. I was not even out of college yet and I managed to get good results in my studies while being a full time mother. It was hard, yes, but not impossible.

My husband and I graduated and when we started working 2-3 years back, we promised each other that we will not allow our marriage and relationship stop us from pursuing our studies in the future. Now it is time to keep our words to each other. My husband has just started studying again, and it will be my turn to continue my studies next year when our boy is finally standard 1. It would be great. The three of us will be students. We’d make quite a trio, don’t you think? Imagine the three of us sitting at the table doing our homeworks together or preparing for exams together. I think it would be very very nice!

My husband studying again is something I definitely can get used to… it’s going to be a bit rough along the way, no doubt, but I am very proud of my husband that he decided to continue his study. I’ve always have the hots for intelligent men whose nose stuck in the book every now and then. I find it pretty arousing and very, very, very sexy. (OMG… when the hell will he finally ruin his eyesight and wear specs? That would be sexier…just like Clark Kent!)

I like men with brains…they are… highly stimulating. LOL! Ahemm… I am not sure if my husband will read this. I don’t really hope he will read this post. I think I’d feel abit shy for expressing myself like this. But then again… what the hell… seeing him studying again reminds me of our college years where we’re both horny teenagers.

He was my senior, and we used to study together. And seeing him studying these days really brings back those memories where we used to hold hands and steal kisses in places we’re not supposed to do so- in the elevator, in the library, in the gardens and playgrounds…. Okay, we were both very naughty…so if you don’t want to read mushy things over here and goes eyewww, please get out of here before I make you retch. Don’t say I didn’t warn you.LOL.

Just last week, before my husband left for his exam, I kissed him good luck. It is nothing, really. I always kiss him on the lips each time before he go out. I’ve forgotten why we’ve been doing this, but now that he’s been studying and I’ve been taking a hell lot of trip down the memory lane, I finally remembered why I’ve been kissing him by the door before he goes out of the house without failed.

It is because I realized that I actually liked kissing him and being kissed since my first kiss back then. I used to steal kisses from him ever since our first kiss in front of my hostel room nine years ago. =.= It’s been a habit since, and when we started to live together, we just casually kiss each other before either one of us leave the house and stopped remembering why we’ve been doing this all these years, and from hot, open mouthed kisses, it became a chaste kiss on the lips.

Things are different when we’re living together. Things became rather…mundane, but now… I am not quite sure if I can say the same since my husband started to study again. There are welcome changes…things that I can definitely get used to again.

Oh boy… I think I am in big trouble. I caught myself stealing glances at my husband when he was sedately driving and I did the unthinkable and peep on him while he was studying. *FACEPALM* Not sure what the hell is wrong with me, but I suppose, seeing him having his nose stuck in the book makes me feel as giddy as a teenager again.

After so many years… I feel as if I don’t just need him in my life as the father to my child or my husband, but I want him all over again…want him… as in… want him just as him-no title or responsibility attached. Hmm… weird, that doesn’t really make sense. I suppose a better description of it it is falling in love with him all over again? Geez… I dunno… I can’t think straight right now. Right now I’m having flashback of us dancing to N’sync song- “I Drive Myself Crazy’. This damn scene where we dance in his room during college keeps intruding the peace of my mind. *GROAN*  What the hell is wrong with me?

Sigh… anyway, my husband had his first exam 2 weeks ago and he passed with distinction. I am very proud of him and I think he deserved the good result as he really did study alot and drives my hormones crazy during the period. As much as I support him and wants him to excel… I am not quite sure if I’d survive myself. I’m becoming  the younger version of me with each passing day and I could have sworn that he’s becoming the younger version of himself as well… with loads of improvements and tricks up his sleeves.  My husband haven’t been a really good boy these days. He’s been rather naughty. =.= I wish I can say two can play the seduction game, but I’m a bit of a chicken, and this time around, I’d be sure to remind myself of protection. >.< I’m enjoying my life too much to be a mother all over again! For now, I want to enjoy being an ‘elder sister’ to my son and a lover to my husband.

Cleffairy: I lie awake, I drive myself crazy, thinking of you…


  1. suituapui says:

    Good luck to your hubby…and to you when the time comes. Will be tough doing it when already have a family. That’s why I discourage my daughter from having any serious relationship – finish her studies first. But we’ll never know… God works in mysterious ways.

  2. claire says:

    If a first timer were to read this post..he/she will think you are in your teens, mooning over your Mr. White Knight! hehehee…it is so like u… it reminded me of your book..hehhee…

  3. twilightzone says:

    I wore specs since I was 11 and as a 6 footer, I really look like Clark Kent when my hair is messed. LOL… Now my wife is in her final year and moving on to do her Masters & Phd in Physics. Now I understand that I am not weird to love her studying all the time!

  4. Alice Phua says:

    Great and good to know that both of you have the undertstanding that you will not let relationship and marriage stand in the way of furthering studies! I really envy you and your hubby. As for me, it’s the total opposite for my husband. He made it known and clear to me that I should not pursue PhD if we are to get married. His main reason was becos of the financial uncertainty we will put ourselves into and also he didn’t believe in me coping studies and married life with baby to tke care of. Last time (we were already serious about each other) when I have just got my Master’s result, I went to get the application form for PhD scholarship. He happened to phone me and I told him what I was doing. Immediately I can sense the dissappointment in his voice. *Sigh* Then recently we were quarreling about something and somehow touched on an issue to which he claimed he has never stopped me from doing what I want to do and so why should I stop him from doing something he likes? So I quoted the PhD thing and started changing his stand and say that I can go ahead and further my studies if I like but if there are difficulties in coping, then it’s my problem alone.

    • Cleffairy says:

      Sigh… poor you, Alice. I know how hard things can can and how things can turn really sour if a couple is not appreciative of each other and do not give support to one another.

      I cannot imagine how hard it is for you and how difficult it is to swallow the fact that your husband is not supportive of your decisions to further your studies. *sigh* Fear of financial uncertainties should not be an issues if you have loans and your own personal savings, isn’t it?

      I would be extremely stressed up if my husband is not supportive and only wants me to concentrate playing the role of wife, mother and daughter in law instead of letting me be myself. I don’t think studying is as stressful as dealing with in laws and family politics. Those are much harder to deal with than dealing with exams. To me, studying is the positive kind of stress that can be easily dealt with if you have strong will and positive attitude.

      Too bad a lot of people have conservative minds and thinks that after having your own family, you shouldn’t pursue your dreams and studies anymore. That is a waste. 🙁

      I am lucky, I suppose, to have my husband supporting me in whatever I wanted to do, and in return, I support him in whatever he want to do, especially if he wanted to further his studies. You see, I feel very proud that he decided to continue his study. And I will do whatever I can in my power to provide him moral support and encouragements, hoping that when my turn comes, he will do the same to me.

      I suppose things are easier for us because when we both started a family, we were still students, and I suppose, we’re confident that despite of financial issues that will plague us, there will be a way out of it. After all, we’ve gone through it before and turned out fine.

      You see… when I got pregnant, I was having my diploma finals. (Timing was great, I gave birth during semester break and I don’t even need to defer my studies cuz. I did not take my maternity leave cuz it was my final year and was taking final exam during that time, and thank God I recuperated just fine and managed to breastfeed up to 6 mth!)

      We juggled between parenting and relationship altogether and made it through our degree, and agreed to wait until the boy enters primary school before taking our masters. Things turned out just fine in the end… only perhaps our son is a special child, but I do not think that can be labeled as our failure. We cannot change what God has chosen to bestow us, can’t we now?

      Anyway, I really do hope that from now on, your husband will be more supportive of your decisions to pursue your Phd. He is your husband. Husbands are supposed to be wives backbones. It is such a waste if you do not continue just because you’re married and now a mother. That shouldn’t stop you. I think studying would have a positive impact on our children’s life- children follows what their elders do. I believe that if our children see us working hard on our studies, they would be motivated to do the same.

  5. ALice Phua says:

    THanks, Cleffairy for the comforting words and sharing. By the way, when we started dating, I was about to complete my Masters and he was already working for don’t know how many donkey years. We got to know each other by his mother’s introduction for matchmaking purpose…..hehehe.

    • Cleffairy says:

      Ohh… no wonder ur husband is skeptical about you studying again… he’s not sure if it can be done cuz he have no such experience. Me and my husband… different, cuz we were students back then. Oredi expect how hard it can be.

      I hope things will work out for you and your husband. I’m sure if you show him that you can juggle between family life and your studies at the same time, he will be much more supportive.

      All the best to you, Alice. I’ll be praying that things will be great for you, and good luck in everything. Kiss Juan or for me, k? 😀

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