Let’s do a bit of time travelling. Go back in time… say, 30 years ago. Petrol are damn cheap, cost of living are low, and everything are simple and natural. There are no nip&tuck doctors around to create walking silicon monsters and politicians are patriotic and have the heart to serve instead of being power thirsty and money minded. Families are of course simple and stayed together like families should and people do not divorce and re-marry at whim. We do not have ex-wives hunting ex-husbands for alimony cheque all the time and good girls do not go clubbing and are chaste and do not take their virginity lightly.
If you happen to be some a teenage boy with raging hormones flowing in your veins, you would appreciate a good date or two and would try to make out with your girl at the backseat of your daddy’s Volkswagon Beetle or some secluded place. But once you grow up and become a man, you would expect that your bride to be is a virgin on your wedding night, and it doesn’t matter if you’ve have sex countless times before you’re married.
Now, hit the fast forward button to 2009 and you can say that the world is not like what it used to be with conviction. Life is more complicated, expensive and stressful. The world is more artificial and people are going loon over those papers known as ‘money’. The phrase ‘family first’ held no meaning to most and good girls and boys can almost be classified in the same group as the long extinct Saber Tooth Tiger. They almost don’t exists anymore. We can barely tell who is straight and who is homosexual, and not to mention that one tend to wonder if a person’s beauty is natural or have been surgically improvised.
Virginity are no longer treasured, and some girls would do anything in their power to shed it by the time she hit the legal age to have sex and men seems to no longer care about their wife being a virgin or not during their first night together as husband and wife. People no longer choose to stay chaste and pure. People have sex before they got married all the time and delight in the experience of it. Some people would even think that a woman is somewhat problematic if she claimed herself to be a virgin at the age of 20++
Following the trend that women must be sexually experienced in her twenties, some woman find it hard to stay chaste, and some have troubles to find Mr. Right even, as men these days either expect their girlfriend to be sexually experienced or have sex with them before marriage. Some men respect their girlfriend. I am not saying that they are not respecting their partner. But then again, if a girl doesn’t want to have sex with them, what will they do? Well, most would make the girl want to have sex with them. They lure the ladies to their bed with their gentle seduction and the ladies are definitely a willing partner. Some regret jumping into bed with their partner, while some don’t even give a damn about it. Whether their decision to have sex before marriage is right or wrong, is another story. The most important thing to them is that they are sexually satiated.
Sex before marriage is normal to most. And for those who are loyal enough, their relationship would last til holy matrimony. Otherwise, their relationship will be considered a memorable affair and they will go their separate ways and one day will find their true love who did not mind their lack of chastity or virginity. Some women would think that a man who is sexually experienced are capable to pleasure them, and this is a plus point. However, yours truly think that any man who loves their partner enough to please her before he satisfy himself is better than those who are ‘sexually experienced’ and yet selfish in bed.
Unless a person is truly religious and God fearing, remaining chaste and pure until the wedding night is almost unheard of, especially for those who live in the city. While I’ve come to accept this sexual revolution where women are not necessarily virgin and men are not necessarily chaste on their wedding night, I find it disturbing that there are children as young as 13 years old who are not virgin by their own choice. Try as I might, I couldn’t understand why some punk teenage girls couldn’t wait to shed their virginity as soon as they find a partner who is willing to do the deed. (Well, don’t blame me… I was still going around watching Sailormoon, Dragonball and Doraemon when I was 13. LOL). Don’t tell me that virginity so worthless that they couldn’t wait to get rid of it and experiment around?
Even if one wants to have sex, isn’t it better if they wait to give up their virginity to the one that they truly love and convinced that that’s the person they want to spend the rest of their lives with? Wouldn’t that be more worth it, to have the first time with someone you truly love, and love you in return? Consummation of love is a lot better than casual sex, isn’t it?
Cleffairy: Whatever happened to the romantic thoughts of ‘saving yourself’ for your soulmate?
hi Cleff.. it is kind of scary , right ? when i think of my kids.. they might be influenced due to peer pressure in colleges… but I hope with their upbringing and God’s guidance, they will be able to sustain themselves..
Hi dear…
I’m back..=)
Ahhh..This issue..Can I just give my own opinion here?
For me, it do important to have virginity as sex before marriage is prohibited in my religion and some other religions as well. I know, some people will say that I’m not open-minded about this matter, but yeah, we do have our own beliefs right?
It can be learned from books, documentaries, and many resources (not porn perhaps)…I do understand some people want the satisfaction etc. but, even without do that before marriage, I bet they can feel that. It’ll go by natural after been stimulating~
I read it somewhere, I guess. Hehehe~
Hi dear…
I’m back..=)
Ahhh..This issue..Can I just give my own opinion here?
For me, it do important to have virginity as sex before marriage is prohibited in my religion and some other religions as well. I know, some people will say that I’m not open-minded about this matter, but yeah, we do have our own beliefs right?
It can be learned from books, documentaries, and many resources (not porn perhaps)…I do understand some people want the satisfaction etc. but, even without do that before marriage, I bet they can feel that. It’ll go by natural after been stimulating~
I read it somewhere, I guess. Hehehe~
Hi Cleffairy…
Good boys who think “family first” are almost extinct. Thanks goodness you said almost. I am one of them.
Besides… I think I will only have sex after marriage. It’s against my Catholic religion to do it before.
Which leaves me with only 1 type of girl that is suitable for me…
The simple, innocent, pure and religious.
I once asked a friend about it. He said all of these type of people will be
“stupid”
I want a clever one…
So my search continues…
well… due to the globalisation, we need to moving on and learn to accept the reality that our society has dramatically changed, we certainly cannot compare those new century born kids with 70+/80+/90+ =)
Until standard 3… I still think french kissing may actually lose one’s virginity… well, not all that is true really… its a pre-cursor to one losing one’s virginity.. heck.. I wasn’t wrong there.
See, Clef, men.. have this ego… when they get married, they wan to take charge when in bed ma.. so they need to be “educated” so… to be educated, they need to “know” otherwise? malula.. rite? so, they will probably would not be a virgin when they get married… I have no preference really back then should my partner be one but I heard it thru the grapevine that some men are so macho that they wanted a virgin wife, so that they can “teach” their wives the tricks in bed.. so they claim la..
anyway… back to the topic.. :).
Would you wanna run a poll to see where does man lose their virginity? Did a general poll back then in college… and 68% responded…. well… another topic for another day.. 🙂
Claire… yes, it scares me. I’ll be even more scared if I have a daughter. I cannot imagine how I’d deal with such matter if my own daughter does not have respect for her own body. I hope that one day, if i have a daughter, she’ll wait for the right man to come along in her life instead of just going to bed with some punks. *sigh* I think I understand why Rapunzel was locked up in a tower.
Zara…if someone is raped and she lost her virginity without her own consent… that would be just like being bite by an animal. That is forgivable. But if they purposely shed their virginity just becoz it’s a trend, I think it’s despicable act!:-( I guess this is where religion and upbringing play it’s role, isn’t it?
Dreamkid… my husband is one of those good guys. Almost extinct. I’m lucky that he came into my life. Dreamkid, I think if you wanna find a gf who is pure and innocent like that, I suppose you can find one in your church? I’m sure there’s a decent girl waiting for you out there.
Fufu… you’re right. This world is being changed constantly. I suppose sex revolution is part of it. I just hope that people are more responsible and respect themselves more. 🙁
Kevin… yahorr… if the man is not experienced, then the wife no thrill la horr? I guess that’s why that Siti nurhaliza married Datuk K la horr? VERY EXPERIENCED. Our sleepyhead oso wud…the only difference is sleepyhead’s wife oso very experienced! LMAO.
I think I’m in the extinct group >_> wee how lucky lol
Very scary indeed at the fast pace of teens nowadays works on de-virginalised themselves. Even more so, 15 years from now when my kid will be 19…I wonder how would he cope with the peer pressures.
Well, you are right in the sense these sounds very normal now… I knew someone who’s in his early 20s already brought different girlfriends back home at night and you know wat la….
aiyah..i guess its the same for everything la. nobody does anything for the right reasons anymore.
sad but true.
i love telling my son about man should only have one a girl friend at one time and on wife for his lifetime, i teach them to stay loyal, i even told him about how easily he will be enticed to do the not so nice thingy.
But then again, it is all too early to say, one thing i hold dearly is to stay loyal, that’s what i believe and that’s what i want my children to believe too.
take care now my friend, say hi t adrian for me ,will ya?
Hah, scary, everything so open nowadays lorrrr!
What is virginity? Sexual intercourse ONLY? If a guy kisses, bites and manipulates a girl’s breast or backside, if a girl touches a boy’s you know what, if a boy deep kisses a girl, is she still a virgin? I don’t think so. There can be NO TALK about female purity and chastity even if a girl doesn’t have sexual intercourse with a boy. So, I am sure to say that virginity means lack of sexual AND erotic intimacy. That’s the REAL virginity, not the hypocritical one. Do you agree with me?