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(STICKY POST)

I daresay that my math teachers would hang themselves out of disappointment and frustrations if they happened to stumble upon my ‘algebra equation’.

Pardon me for the rather queer ‘formula’, but this is the simplest way I could put in words to describe the misconception of the term ‘freelance’ , especially in Malaysia.

I am a freelancer myself. Freelance Editor cum Writer. People often ask me what I do for a living as I am quite flexible in how I manage my time. I could go out anytime I like, do things spontaneously as long as it’s within one or two hour notice and many more.

It irks me to no end when I told people that I am a freelancer and working from home, they would negatively assume that I am not working and all I do day in, day out, is shake my arse at home. Bloody brilliant indeed.

I am not quite sure what is wrong with Malaysian in general, but if you tell them that you are a freelancer, they would automatically assume that you are not working, period, no arguments.

This is absurd! And it most definitely annoys me. I am more than sure that this does not only apply to me, but many other men and women in Malaysia as well. Some people who are SOHO workers are accused of being a lazy bum as well.

Bloody hell, what is wrong with Malaysians in general? As long as you tell people that you’re a freelancer or a SOHO worker, people would either look at you with disdain, and almost disgusted that you are not slaving in the corporate office from 9am-5pm. And then the talk and lecture on ‘you should stop bumming around at home and get a job’ would start.

Malaysian had a rather twisted mind. As long as you are not working in an office, there would be possibility of people accusing you of not working. First, freelancers are associated with lazy bums who are not working and does nothing but wasting away at home or loitering the street during working hours. What’s next, I truly wonder? Teachers are accused of not working too ? Well… teachers do not work in office… why not accuse them of that as well?

Malaysian says the darndest things. I’ve seen many men who are freelancers and doing business of their own accused of not working as well, just because they don’t have an office to go to each day and night. Just take a look at the case below, written in nastily broken English, or rather, Manglish.

Case 1

A man and his wife picks up their kids together in school everyday, and it happened to be during regular working hours. This is what will happened:

Kaypochee Housewives: Eh, how come ah, you both everyday oso pick up your kid together? Both of you not working wan ah?

Husband: I’m a freelancer. So is she.

Kaypochee Housewives: Ohhh, you both are not working ah? So where does your money come from?

Case 2

A man who is doing his business on a small scale picks up his children from school at around 2pm every damn day.

Kaypochee bitch: Eh, how come you everyday oso come and pick up your son/daughter yourself? You’re not working ah?

Man: I’m working for myself. Doing small business.

Kaypochee bitch: But everyday you so free wan worr, can pick up your kids. Nonid to go office wan ah?

Man: I’m working for myself wan ma, working from home. The home is my office.

The bitch started to act smart at this point of the conversation.

Kaypochee bitch: Aiyohhh, you’re a househusband, say early la…I know wan la your kind. Haiyorr, mister, you cannot like this. Why you let your wife work and you stay home to jaga the kids? Men should go out and work wan ma. Get a job, dun just stay home. need me to recommend some job for you bo?

Case 3

A woman who is a freelancer receives a call from her housewives friends. They asked her out for a shopping session when she’s having a project that needs to be submitted soon.

Cao Cibai Bitch: Come, let’s go shopping. Got sale wan worr, very rugi if dun go and grab those stuff! Dun just stay at home and rot nia. Must go out, shopping, chill out, socialize…

Woman: I can’t go out. My workload piling, I have to finish up my work first. The submission date is tomorrow.

Cao Cibai Bitch: Haiyorr, I don’t understand you la. You’re housewife only, why bother la… those work can do later…your husband won’t die wan la if you dun cook one meal for him! Ask him to eat out la! Simple nia!

I think, the above scenarios is rather common in our conservative and narrow minded society.  Most men and women who chose to be a freelancer would at least encounter at least one person who would mistook them for a lazybum who does nothing but rot at home.

Some people really do not understand the concept of freelancing. So, it is time to learn some English after reading the awfully rotten conversation in the scenarios above.

Freelance definition:

• working for yourself

• work independently and on temporary contracts rather than for a long-term employer

• freelancer: a writer or artist who sells services to different employers without a long-term contract with any of them

• mercenary(a): serving for wages in a foreign army; “mercenary killers”

So basically, a freelancer, freelance worker, or freelance is somebody who is self-employed and is not committed to a particular employer  for longterm. The term was first used by the late Sir Walter Scott, the writer of Ivanhoe to describe a “medieval mercenary warrior” or “free-lance”.

Fields where freelancing is common include journalism, journal publishing, and other forms of writing, editing, copyediting, proofreading, indexing, copywriting, computer programming and graphic design, consulting and translating.

Freelance practice varies greatly. Some require clients to sign written contracts, while others may perform work based on verbal agreements, perhaps enforceable through the very nature of the work. Some freelancers may provide written estimates of work and request deposits from clients.

Payment for freelance work also varies greatly. Freelancers may charge by the day, hour, or page or on a per-project basis. Freelancers may earn or may not earn big amount of money, but that is another story.

What I’d like to emphasize here is that when someone mentioned that they are freelancers, that would mean that they do have a job, and they are not shaking their bloody asses at home, waiting for money to drop from the sky.

Some people chose to be a freelancer for many reason. Flexibility with time is one of it. Some mothers, or even single parents might choose to do freelance work as it would enable them to spend more time and their small children and whatnot, so I’d appreciate it if all of you out there stop accusing freelancers of being lazy bums who knows nothing but rot at home. Freelancing might not be a great career prospect to some, but to most, it is rather rewarding, as when one chooses to be a freelancer, they are completely in control of their time, and they get to spend more time with their family.

Cleffairy: Not sure what certain words mean? Use the dictionary. Speechless? Use the thesaurus.

Time is a funny thing. It may change us to the extend we could no longer recognize ourselves, and yet, sometimes, certain things remained the same.

Before I write further, allow me to extend my sincerest apologies to all, as I’ve been pretty busy lately, and I didn’t really have the time to grace your blog with my presence as often as last time. For those who had been concerned and sms-ing me to ask if I’m all right, I’d like to thank you. Thank you very much for caring for me. It truly means a lot to me, and I’m deeply moved by your kind words, and sincere, heart-moving thoughts.

I assure you, I’m fine…just occupied to the max. Busy… for me is good. It makes me feel alive. Remember my entries last year? I sounded rather devastated and was completely frustrated with life, and I was so determined to find happiness and inner peace, no matter what it cost.

And that’s exactly what I’ve been doing; living my life to the fullest. I’ve been reading the letters I wrote to myself faithfully, and I’m happy to say that my writing therapy did work. Apart from making me feel better and much more alive instead of feeling zombified, the letter to myself made me do crazy things; like waltzing the middle of the night as well as indulging myself with sinfully delicious chocolate cakes when everyone is sleeping.

I feel more and more alive with each passing day. And I realize something important. It’s  one of the biggest key in having inner peace and happiness-all I need to do is be myself, and instead of trying to please others, I please myself first.

I feel happier and definitely much better. This may sound selfish… but then again, if I don’t love myself and take myself seriously, nobody else would. Bottom-line is, I must respect myself first, before I respect others. That’s the way it should be, not the other way around. And I  should never, ever allow anyone to make myself feel inferior. Nobody had the rights to do so, it doesn’t matter who they are.

Anyway, as I mentioned earlier in this entry, time changed people, and yet, certain things remained the same. This is a little bit outdated, but I’d like to write it down regardless, as a reminder, as a memory that I shall soon look back with fondness.

Last week, 27th February 2010, I met two important people in my life. One is a blogger friend whom is dear to my heart, someone who was there for me during one of the darkest time of my life. She was the first to discover that I’ve lost my home in a fire last years, and she’s the only one at that time who was there to help me pull through my depression. If it wasn’t for her, I wouldn’t be here today, writing this, as I would probably cold in my grave. She was there for me when I was almost suicidal.God truly loves me. I may not realized it back then, but He did sent me someone to give me emotional support when I needed it most, and I couldn’t be more grateful for that.

It’s truly nice to be able to meet with her and her family. Her two kids are absolute darling, especially her little girl. In many ways… her little girl made me feel that I am not so horrible with kids after all. I met her on borrowed time, though, as I had to meet another important person in my life, and she had to leave as well. I can only pray that I can meet her again next time and bitch with her about life to our heart’s content.

27th February 2010 was also very historic for me, as I finally meet up with my best friend, Pauline, after 8 years of not meeting each other, despite of living in the same country. It is truly, absolutely pathetic that we didn’t manage to meet each other, considering that we’re somewhat partner in crime since God knows when. Sheesh! I can’t believe it! Amazing enough, we’re still best friends or rather, sisters. Yes, indeed, we’re more like sisters than just best friends.

Funny thing about me and Pauline is how we managed to still be best friends despite of not meeting each other all these years. It seems that technology had taken over our lives like nobody’s business. We used to communicate with each other using the land-line almost everyday after school… and when both of us pursue our higher education, we started to use our damn hand phones to communicate with each other. And then, we graduated to MSN messenger, and now… the bloody twitter along with those sms. *SIGH* Thank God for technologies… though we were far apart, we still could keep in touch with each other, regardless of distance.

I am so, so glad that I was right. So damn right that it doesn’t matter where I go, I shall always be her friend. I promised her back then in 1999, that she’d never loose me as a friend, even if she would never get to see me as often. She’d be in my heart, like a brand, forever.

You see… it was after PMR, and Pauline was sitting with me and a few other friends, talking about our future and stuff. You know, the usual pondering school kids does when they had nothing better to do after their examination besides playing monopoly and chess in school.

Out of the sudden, Pauline bawled her head off, getting all emotional about loosing the friendship that she had with me and our two other friend. Two other girls, J&D followed suit and cried at the prospect of not being able to see other other again when we our own ways in the future.

Everyone at the table cried a pail of tears(fine, that’s a little exaggerating)… except for me. No… I didn’t cry. Not even a single tear in my eyes. I remembered it very well. Pauline asked me that time, why I wasn’t even sad the the prospect of not being able to see each other anymore in the future when we finally left school…and everyone present were wondering if I did not appreciate our friendship.

Much to their amusement, I laughed instead. I told them it is silly that they thought we would not remain friends when we won’t be able to see each other everyday anymore. I then assured Pauline that she won’t be able to get rid of me easily, as intend to be friends with her, even when I left school, and not able to see her as often anymore.

And I did just that when I finally left school, and we went separate ways, leading separate lives. I kept in touch with her, with the help of technology. See, Pauline… I kept my words. I am still your friend, still your partner in crime.

You are never forgotten. You’ll always be in my heart, and even when I’m old and senile, I would still have my blog to remind myself about you. You’re a goner, girl. You got one lizard haunting you and ’sticking’ with you for the rest of your life. For what it’s worth… I am still conjoined with you as ‘Panda’ would say, and I would still be your shadow as Pn. Aishah would tell us.

After almost 8 years of not meeting each other…we finally met again. And for a moment, I was stunned when I saw Pauline. She reminded me so much of her mother, my teacher. It’s not because she looks as old as my teacher, but because of the way she carries herself. You know, the handbag, make-up and all. My teacher used to carry them too. *sigh* And it doesn’t help it that her hairstyle was almost like my teacher’s. Hers was more sporty and more hip, though. I seriously mistook her as my teacher when I met her last week.

It is weird, to see your best friend who was also your classmate, not in her uniform. LOL… no joke. It definitely feels weird to me, and somehow, I knew Pauline felt the same way about me. She must be thinking of how different I am now. I was no longer the same girl that she knew in school. And I daresay, she must have felt weird that I am not in my school uniform too, only she was probably too polite to express it to me. Oh, well, it can’t be helped. Sometimes I am honest to a fault.

Gone were the girls who wore their long hair in ponytails and don their respective school uniform. Pauline was no longer wearing her blue prefect uniform, and I was no longer wearing the fiery red librarian uniform.

The two girls were replaced by two individual with sporty hairstyle and make up, and another with her girlish summer tube and jeans with no make up on. Pauline must be quite surprised with the dressing of my choice. Back then, I would never wear something so girlish and revealing. It’s funny how time changed us, and how we present ourselves to the world.

Time may have changed us mentally and physically and how we lead our lives, but as we sat down, having our cuppa, I realized, that time could never take one thing away from us; which is friendship, and how we felt about each other. The night of 27th February 2010…somehow, someway, despite of the way we look and the way we have matured, we were still the girls who don their blue and red uniform.

Deep inside, we were still the girls who wears their hair in ponytails. I am more than certain that time could never take our friendship away, and our beliefs in life. All we need to do is, look back when we feel lost, and rediscover the ‘forgotten us’-the girls who lived life to the fullest, honest to themselves, and strive for not only happiness, but for satisfaction in life.

Cleffairy: Don’t you know? When you look at the memories of the past, it doesn’t mean that you won’t be making new memories. Can’t you see? People who forced themselves to forget their past, will eventually forgot who they really are, and who they wanted to be.

It’s a quiet and boring Saturday, and while I’m spending it lazing around in front of my PC, I found this tag from Foong Pc. He’s doing a lucky draw or something for this, but I’m doing this for fun. LOL… Cuz I have nothing better to do at the moment. I’m not going to tag others for this, cuz sometimes, people find it very annoying to be tagged. Well, as far as I’m concerned, it is extremely annoying to me, cuz I feel that it’s some sort of coercion-forced to do something that you don’t really want to do, and I don’t appreciate that sort of feelings.

Old vs. New from FoongPC, and I’m gonna state my preference here…

1. Najib vs Mahathir- Definitely Tun Dr.Mahathir. He brought Malaysia up in the eyes of the world. His successors are mediocre to me in term of accomplishment…especially in the terms of economic and nation building. And, Tun Dr. Mahathir have a dry sense of humour. I miss all of his sarcasm. Now, that’s what you call a chili mouth.

2. Facebook vs Twitter- Twitter, of course. I’m not into facebook. I’m all for microblogging.

3. Lady Gaga vs Beyonce- Huwa, Beyonce… Beyonce is sexy and alluring. I would have gone after her if I’m a man.

4. PJ vs KL- KL, without a doubt. There’s two Lake Gardens in KL, whereas, PJ has none. I like recreational places.

5. iPhone vs Nexus One- iPhone… I’m a fan of Apple products.

6. Blackberry vs HTC- Blackberry…it’s function is better and more chic.

7. Firefox vs Google Chrome- Firefox. Been using Mozilla Firefox since God knows when. Chrome confuses me.

8. Nikon vs Canon DSLR- Nikon. Why? I just like to antagonize. too much people using Canon these days.

9. sex vs sleep- What, are you kidding me? Sex first, then sleep.

10. eating vs sex- Sex first, then eating, unless I’m starving for food, that is. Or perhaps, if in the mood, food sex. Best of both worlds.

11. call vs sms- Sms. I’m better at writing short messages rather than talk. Plus, there’s always evidence in sms rather than the verbal messages.

12. sunny vs rainy- Rainy days, so that I can sleep better and hide between the sheets doing hanky panky things if I’m up to it.

13. werewolves vs vampires- Vampire, because I can be considered one. I’m nocturnal and hates sunlight.

14. healthy & poor vs sick & rich- Healthy and poor, cuz I grew up sickly and I know how sickening it is to be bedridden.

15. cakes vs doughnuts- Cakes… cheesecakes, preferably.

16. school days vs working days- School days. I miss being in school and being a rascal. But I don’t deny working days give me more flexibility too.

17. dog vs cat- Cat. My cat saved my entire family from a burning house. Definitely cat!

18. single vs married- Married. I enjoyed sex and seducing my husband when I feel like it.

19. Malaysia vs Singapore- Malaysia. Singapore is too stuffy and too kiasu.

20. China vs USA- USA. Why? It’s a free country, and they have a Black President. Ohhh, la la… talk about mission possible! Obama is sexy, don’t you think?

21. Paula Abdul vs Kara DioGuardi- Paula Abdul. Why? Cuz she can kick Simon Cowell’s arse!

22. OldTown vs Papparich- OldTown. Have yet to try Papparich.

23. Fitness First vs Celebrity Fitness- Geez, I have no idea, dude, I’m no gym creep.

24. driver vs passenger- Driver. It’s better to have control of the wheel.

25. beautiful & dumb vs brainy & fat- How the hell am I supposed to know? I’m damn skinny and not beautiful!

26. handsome & egoistic vs ugly & rich- I don’t know, I married a decent man. But if I’ll have to choose, I wouldn’t choose the rich one. Rich ass simply sucks, big time, and divorcing them would be a pain in the ass if the marriage gone awry.

27. insurance agent vs direct selling agent- I hate both! Kindly stay away from me if you are either one, thank you. i’d appreciate it very much.

28. horror movies vs comedies- Comedies. I can’t stomach low budget horror. It looks so fake!

29. working for yourself vs working for others- Working for myself. I don’t have much patience to work for others.

30. Avatar vs Lord Of The Rings- Avatar. Lord of The Rings made me sleep. Couldn’t understand the weird Hobbits either.

31. bus vs taxi- Taxi, I’m kinda claustrophobic around people.

32. Haagen Dazs vs Baskin Robbins- Baskin Robbins. Why? It’s more colourful.

33. flu vs diarrhea- Flu, cuz I wun have to go to toilet too often.

34. blue vs pink- Blue. It calms me.

35. chicken vs duck- Chicken taste better than ducks.

36. dawn vs dusk- I’m not a morning person, so it’s dusk.

37. Tiger Woods vs Nicole David- Tiger Woods. Nicole David is kinda cocky. Met her once in Penang Free School, and I dun like her.

38. Gmail vs Yahoo email- Gmail.

39. book smarts vs street smarts- Street smart, of course.

40. foongpc’s travel posts vs ghost story posts- Ghost story posts. They’re more funny.

41. Windows vs Linux- Linux. As far as I’m concern, Windows can go to hell. Hate their monopoly and plus, virus magnet. And I can’t tolerate the hassle of updating the damn antivirus. Long live open source! LOL… On a more serious note, I believe the access to technology and knowledge should be free for all. That’s why I’m using Ubuntu Linux instead of Windows. Microsoft is up to world domination, no? Well, at least I think so.

Cleffairy: Check out Foong Pc’s blog for this… erm.. lucky draw.

What does children says about the separation of power in Malaysian constitution? Have a look. You need to be able to understand Federal Constitution, and Bahasa Malaysia to be able to understand this ‘joke’, though.

It is a misconception that one body is more powerful than another. Executive, legislative and judiciary have their own important role to play, and it is important to separate the power in order to avoid corruption and abuse.

• Parliament-Legislator
• Government -Executive
• Courts-Judiciary

Executive, legislative and judiciary may functioned differently, but each of these body depend on each other in order to make law and order works.

Cleffairy: In the spirit of law and democracy, no one is more powerful than another. Each and everyone of us has an important role to play in nation building. Are we… Malaysian, truly democratic and alert of our nation’s needs? As a Malaysian, how much do you know about the constitution and practice it?

It’s been months…months since I had recurring nightmares. It faded for a while, but the peacefulness of the night sleep that I’ve been getting for a week or two did not last, and I keep getting nightmares again, and this explains why I’m awake at 3:53am Malaysian time, sitting in front of the PC, trying to forget the vivid dreams that’s been visiting me. It’s the same old dreams, and though it is not that scary anymore, it still disturbs me greatly.

It seems that the ‘Evil One’ refused to let me have peace, even when I’m asleep. I am not quite sure why I’ve been getting those horrid nightmares over and over again. It seems that ’someone’ is trying to send me a message and is unhappy when I am at peace with myself and feeling contented.

But God is with me…I have faith that he will protect me from the ‘Evil One’. These days, when I woke up, feeling agitated because of those dreams where my loved ones betrayed me, I prayed, and prayed hard, though it did not help me to sleep, but it helped to calm me and made me see, that those horrid nightmares actually had a theme, which is ‘it’ wants me to give up what I have now instead of persevere.

Well, though the whole world might be against me, He will always be with me, and that will remain unchanged until the end of time. Am I not blessed… to be able to realize His eternal love for me when I am still young? Things could be worst, and I could have ended up like those people who decided to shut Him out of their life.

Ladies and gentlemen, you may not understand my ramblings, but it is all right. I am here not to ramble much. I am here just to share a little something… something for you to ponder on.

.

I asked God to take away my bad habits.

God said, No.

It is not for me to take away, but for you to give it up.

.

I asked God to make my handicapped child whole.

God said, No. His spirit is whole, his body is only temporary

.

I asked God to grant me patience.

God said, No. Patience is a byproduct of tribulations;it isn’t granted, it is learned.

.

I asked God to give me happiness.

God said, No. I give you blessings; Happiness is up to you.

.

I asked God to spare me pain.

God said, No. Suffering draws you apart from worldly cares and brings you closer to me.

.

I asked God to make my spirit grow.

God said, No. You must grow on your own, but I will prune you to make you fruitful.

.

I asked God for all things that I might enjoy life.

God said, No. I will give you life, so that you may enjoy all things.

.

I finally understood, that when God says no to me each time I asked Him something, it is not because He doesn’t care for me, but it is because he is smarter, and definitely knows better. After all, I am just human, and God works in mysterious ways.

I have learned how to be more at peace with myself, and my journey is still very long. While some pray for my safety and happiness, there are some others who wants me out of the picture, and tries very hard to ruin my happiness. I am completely aware of that, and I want to say here that I know about all of your evil intentions, for you couldn’t be more obvious. It doesn’t matter what you do, I no longer fear you, for God is with me, and I’ll have you know that I have a hurricane in me that will destroy you if you dare to harm what I’ve fought so hard to protect.

One could work with the demons and sell their soul to the devil just because they want others to suffer, but by the end of the day, God will give me justice, and he shall protect me, in his own ways.

Cleffairy: God is my strength, my eternal guiding light. He stands with in the sunshine, and calms me through the stormy nights.

Pete thought I went MIA because I was busy doing stuff on the bed, looking for G-spot. LOL… unfortunately, that was not the case for me. I was busy, yes, but not on the bed, but outdoors, meeting people whom I am fond of and people who loves me,people who are important to me,people whom knew me not as Cleffairy, but the girl who had dreams, and a hell of a daredevil.

I was busy. Busy being me. It’s been a very long time since I am ‘Me’. This is the next best thing a lady could have besides spending her time in bed, discovering how to bring her pleasure to the next level and screaming her head like some possessed madwoman.

Yes, people… Cleffairy does go out and meet people, though not as often as those classy hussy of socialite. *roll eyes* I do have a life though some of you thought otherwise. And yes, I do step out into the sun when I feel like it. Yes, it is safe to conclude, that Cleffairy is just elusive, and not a bloodsucking vampire, though she looks like one, according to smallkucing. LOL.

It’s been a busy week for me, and I haven’t had the chance to go around blog- hopping and leaving my thoughts in everyone’s blog, and for that, I extend my sincerest apologies, and I pray that everyone is doing well and surrounded by harmony and happiness.

Mother Nature seems to be showing her fierce streak these days, reprimanding her human brats not to mess with her or she’ll burn us all the way to hell with global Warming, and no matter where I go, I will feel like being under the weather. the heat is almost too much for me to handle, but apparently, it doesn’t stop me from going outdoors, or even put the heat on my table.

It was 28th February 2010 when my other dad; my FIL decided to put the ‘heat’ onto the table for the closing Chinese New Year Dinner. Honestly, I’ve been really looking forward to the closing dinner on Chinese Valentine’s or better known as Chap Goh Mei, because truthfully, I am rather fond of my FIL.

Having meals with him had always been a pleasure, because he made it a happy occasion by letting us children eat whatever we like, and apart for that he make great conversation instead of finding faults in everyone who is seated at the table during meatime, and I usually enjoy his companionship.

Anyway, it’s never the food. It’s great company that counts. I could sit in a mamak stall with my FIL and have just iced tea and roti canai, and I’ll still enjoy the meal immensely.

I like the fact that my FIL always emphasize quality over quantity. I may not get to spend much time with him, but the time that we usually spent together are usually quality time, and he always gives me the feel good feeling each time we meet for lunch, dinner and whatnot.

In many ways, he is another father to me, and I didn’t like the fact that many misunderstood him and judged him for the things that he did. He may not be the perfect human being to everyone else, but he is someone whom I respect, because he earned my respect without demanding for it, unlike many others in my life.

I never did respect him just because he’s an elder. Never because of that. I respect him because I chose to, and I want to. Not because I was asked or forced to respect him. I admire his courage and wisdom to not only take chances in life, but also for his bravery to admit that he is not always right as well, and tries his hardest to make amendments for his mistakes, even though it was beyond repair.

People may have shunned him and judge him, but I think, he did the right thing at some point in his life. FIL made me see, that everyone is just human. They are entitled to make mistakes, and nobody should judge others for what they did, and for what it’s worth, what differs us human and animals is that we can use our brain to think to live in harmony with each other. Those who cannot do that…who constantly tries to make others uncomfortable by trying to create tension and uneasiness on purpose just because they dislike others, is no better than animals.

Anyway, enough rantings and ramblings. As I said earlier…though the weather is scorching and sizzling hot, it does not stop me from going out and facing heat on the table.

The heat that I meant was the heat that came from steamboat pots. LOL… My FIL brought us, the brats to a steamboat restaurant known as 100°C Steamboat restaurant, located in Jalan Kuchai Lama, Kuala Lumpur.

The ambiance was good. Japanese style, and fully air-conditioned, and one could have their steamboats with personal pots. Good for those who are tired of fighting over what soup they should order when eating steamboat in restaurants. One need not fight over what kind of soup they should be having in this steamboat restaurant, cuz they have personal pots for each customers.

They also have wide selections of sauce to go with your steamboat, so you won’t have to just eat your fishballs, veggies and whatnot with just the usual chilli sauce. Yes, people, the picture above is those sauce I mentioned. All you can eat. LOL…

For starters, FIL ordered the auspicious Yee Sang. Everything was fresh and crunchy, and the salmon fish buried inside was something to die for. It was sweet and fresh. And the pomelo pulps inside of it made me crave for more.

I ate my portion, and somehow wished that there’s more. I not only had fun tossing the yee sang together with my FIL, my BIL, SIL and Auntie, but I also had fun making auspicious wishes together with them. This ‘closing reunion dinner’ was fun and gives me the feel good feeling, and it is so damn different from the so-called reunion dinner that I had during the Chinese New Year’s Eve itself. Well, different company, different kind of feelings, I guess. I certainly like this one better than the one during Chinese New Year’s Eve, that’s for sure.

I ordered my favourite soft drink to go with the food…Hahaha…. yes, we’re always allowed to order our own drinks when we go out with FIL. Isn’t that great? We’re allowed to make our own choices because FIL treated us like adults who are perfectly capable of making our own decisions. LOL…okay, that’s a bit exaggerating, though… but I like the fact that FIL allowed us to choose our own food and drinks instead of making decisions for us. He spoiled us rotten…and we’re allowed to take those unhealthy stuff to our heart’s content.

I made excellent choice with the coke, as I chose tomyam as my soup, and boy, it was so damn spicy, just the way I like my tomyam soup to be.

My portion of steamboat ‘liews’. I just ordered the small set, consisting of various fishballs and chicken slices, cuz I was afraid that I wouldn’t be able to finish off those bigger ones.

I forgot to snap most of the food pictures as I was too busy enjoying the food and having a good chat with my FIL and SIL…but I can assure you that the food was as great as the company. I’m particularly fond of the chicken slice… I’m not quite sure what they used to marinade the chicken, as it was so sweet and succulent. There’s hints of pepper and sugar, and I’m not quite sure what else. All I know is that it was yummy, and therefore, they deserved a place in my tummy.

Apart from the little mishap caused by the waiter earlier on while delivering our drinks, everything else was perfect and pleasant. My younger SIL was unhappy with this little incident, and rightly so, as the spill drinks dirtied her handbag. I would have been upset if I’m in her shoes, but everyone was in a happy mood, so I guess the  apologies and the discount given as compensation chilled my SIL’s temper, and our lunch was not ruined after all.

Under normal circumstances, I would have gone berserk and inform them that I will be writing about the incident, and they should be more careful in the future, but then again, as I said… I was really in a good mood, and I couldn’t feel angry and therefore, did not lash out at the poor waiter who probably will be reprimanded by his superior. LOL… very rare or me not to flare my temper, right? Well… good company does that to me, I suppose. I am only cranky and bitchy when I am not happy and had nasty people for company. The rest of the time…I’m as serene as the calm sea. (Yes, do not provoke me, that’s the keyword! I have a hurricane in me, calm as I looked like.)

Before we left…I snapped a few more pictures in the restaurant, seeing how at ease everyone was. My BIL took out his phone to snap some pictures too, and my sporting FIL gave a few good pose when I was in action too.

I don’t know what this signboard says…as I couldn’t read Chinese characters…but I’m guessing it’s a wishing well? I don’t know. Please read it for me and let me know what it says….

There was a nine dragon fountain underneath the signboard…I guess it’s a wishing fountain… as people threw coins inside to make wishes.

There’s another one underneath the signboard too… a single golden dragon guarding the man made pond. I am impressed… dragons guarding water. I suppose in feng shui, this decoration means the dragons is guarding the incoming money.

For those who are interested in checking out this restaurant, here’s the address:

No. 3 & 5, Ground Floor, Dynasti Central, Jalan Kuchai Maju 18,
Off Jalan Kuchai Lama,
58200 Kuala Lumpur

Tel: 03-79800899

This small gathering with FIL is one of the reason why I went MIA… I’ve been outdoors throughout the week. As much as I enjoyed good companionship and good food, I’m hoping to get back to my routine as soon as possible. Sometimes, being too blissfully happy makes me tired too. I need constant challenge to keep me motivated, and I bet March is full of challenges.

Cleffairy: Some people makes others happy where ever they go, while some others makes people happy when they go.

For years, the clitoris was considered the only trigger for the female orgasm. Alas, even finding the clitoris turned out to be a daunting task for many men, and things didn’t get any easier in 1950 when a physician known as Dr. Ernst Grafenberg found an even more mysterious female pleasure spot hidden within the vagina.

This area became popularized by sexologists in the 1980s as the ‘G-spot.’

It turns out that stimulation of the G-spot produces a very powerful kind of female orgasm; and in some women, it even produces female ejaculation, also known as ’squirting’.

Finding, stimulating and discovering how to master the woman’s G-spot has become, for both men and women,a secret sexual treasure.

What is a G-spot? Well, G-spot is a It is the bean-shaped, spongy tissue of the para-urethral gland, which is analogous to the male prostate.

The actual area is only about the size of a quarter, but it feels rougher to the touch than the surrounding tissue. Because the G-spot is composed of erectile tissue, it swells up when blood rushes to it especially if you learn how to master the woman’s G-spot effectively.

G-spot is located about one or two inches back from the vaginal opening inside the front vaginal wall.

Kindly note that finding a G-spot is easier when the woman in question is fully sexually aroused, so don’t be such a lazy bum and get all the foreplay right. Don’t slack.

Here’s a ‘How To Hit The G-Spot for Idiots.

Getting Started

Invite your partner into your play space and ask her to lie down in the space you’ve set up for her. In attitude and tone  you want to show that you’ve gone out of your way to set up safe, sacred space for her

In whatever way you feel its most appropriate, express your appreciation to your partner – thank her for all she does for you, for her loving nature, and for her willingness to share and explore her G-spot with you. It is a rare and intimate gift. Not many women would willing to completely share her body with you. Some may be married for years, and yet still apprehensive when it comes to intimate moments.

Massaging Your Partner

Massage your partner, slowly and sensually for 10 – 15 minutes on each side. The intention of this is to create intimacy and connection between you, and to further relax your partner. It also helps her open into your touch and become more receptive. Its very important during this massage that you not touch her clitoris or vagina. Long, sensual strokes that include her butt, and breasts are encouraged, as are: kisses to the back of her neck, light sex talk in her ear, nipple biting/blowing, etc.

Remember – there is nowhere to go, nothing else to do – just enjoy yourself and your partner will enjoy you as you enjoy touching her.

Amping Up the Energy

Now that your partner is feeling relaxed, you can begin to entice her further. This could include: kissing, nipple sucking, toe sucking, clitoral stimulation, etc. You get the idea.

The main thing is to keep taking it slow, and don’t go inside her yet. This will likely feel very strange for you if you are used to just touching so you can have sex and relieve yourself. In this exercise, you are not going to be having sex – and your touch and play is for your woman to get completely aroused. Again, do not go inside her yet! good grief, don’t you men have patience?

Finding The G-Spot

At this point, let’s assume your partner is aroused, and hot, and begging for you to be insider her. If this is the case – give yourself a mental pat on your back, or anywhere you prefer for that matter! If not, continue your play using the above steps until your partner is begging you to penetrate her.

Get into a comfortable position. For this next you will be inserting your finger into her vagina, as well as touching her clitoris. Sometimes you can do this sitting at her side, or you can also kneel between her knees.

Take time to get yourself comfortable. Talk to your partner, ask her and be open with each other. Don’t be shy – you will be in this position for at least 20 minutes, and want it to be comfortable – and a few extra minutes now are well worth it.

When everything is all right, slowly insert your finger into her vagina and massage her from the inside. Play with her shallowly, deeply, at the back wall, in the front wall, etc. Take it slow, use saliva or lube to keep everything wet and well lubricated.

It is important, during this part, you and your partner be communicating about what you like, what you’d like harder / softer / more of / less of / etc. This is an exercise to learn and your partner needs your feedback and advise to be given verbally and explicitly throughout.

Stimulating the G-Spot

Now, its time to begin stimulating the G-spot. Insert a finger (or two), about 2 inches, and then slightly crook them. You want your finger’s facing forward, like you are making the motion of ‘come here’ with your fingers. You’ll be touching the front side of her vagina, with your finger’s wrapped around her pubic bone.

From here on, experiment with a variety of pressure – hard, soft, light, etc. We’ve found its often best to start touching as if your finger’s are windshield washers – with a constant pressure, sorta going back and forth.

Ladies, give your partner feedback about what feels good, and what doesn’t – help them learn how to drive you wild in bed.

Men, while you were fingering and doing your deed, you may feel a particular area which is more rough than other area’s, possibly ribbed or bumpy. This is the G-spot. As you stimulate it, the G-spot will often become larger and more present as it get engorged. At this point, some women prefer harder pressure, but most prefer softer pressure (so the opposite of the clitoris).

Once you’ve found the G-spot, and have a way of touching the area that your partner is enjoying, add in some stimulation to her clitoris. You can also push down with your hand on her pubic bone by placing your palm in the middle of her pubic hair. This accentuates your pressure from inside.

A magic combination is to touch the G-spot with your index and/or middle finger while stimulating her clitoris with your thumb (good lube helps this greatly).

Ladies, at this point, if your man is doing it correctly,  you may find you feel like you have to pee. If this happens, don’t worry. Nothing is wrong – just stay relaxed and go with it. This is quite natural as sometimes, G-spot stimulations leads to female ejaculation, that’s more commonly known as ’squirting’.

If you don’t orgasm from this exercise, don’t worry! It’s main purpose was to help you learn more about finding the G-spot, how to best stimulate it, and to build intimate connection and trust with your partner. It can often take several repeats of this exercise to start feeling your G-spot.

Try stimulating the G-spot during and after orgasm, try different pressure, strokes, angles, etc.. try it with one hand, two hands, you touching the clitoris, while your partner focuses on your G-spot. Try using a pillow or two under your buttocks, etc. You get the picture, get creative, people. Don’t spare your Muse.

The best way to manually stimulate the G-spot is with a firm tapping motion with your crooked finger. Some guys find it easier to stimulate the G-spot with various toys. Any dildo can be used for this, but the ones that are best suited for G-spot stimulation are hard and curved. Many are made specifically for G-spot stimulation, as their length, width and curve are specifically designed to take the guesswork out of G-spot stimulation.

Even women who do not enjoy manual stimulation of the G-spot may enjoy penile stimulation of the spot during intercourse. So, if your penis has a natural upward bend, you’ve got it made. Other men have to find positions that maximize penile contact with the front wall of the vagina. The woman on top positions and posterior (doggy style) positions are best for achieving that contact.

The only way to get G-spot stimulation in the missionary position is to prop her hips up with pillows. Women can also intensify their ability to have G-spot orgasms by learning to contract their pelvic muscles, known as Kegel exercises.

Wrapping Up

At some point – either after orgasm, or otherwise – you’ll feel the energy shift and it will be time to wrap the exercise up. At this point slowly and gently place one hand cupped over your partner’s vagina, and one hand open on her heart. Look into her eyes, and take a moment just to be present with each other.

Take a moment to breathe together, and enjoy what you’ve just experienced. Use the next 5 minutes to share about your experiences – what you enjoyed, what you most liked, what felt good, etc. Its always important to start with the positive. After this, you can think about what you’ll do differently next time.

Cleffairy: From afar, you can hear a fairy sing “Ohhhh, my love, my darling, I hunger for your touch’. LMAO.. anyway, hope the tips are useful, and have fun. Remember, safety first. LOL.

Sex gets hotter, and better with age. As of late, everyone has been complaining how hot they are, and it’s driving me insane, because sometimes, hot weather ‘inspire’ me. And when I am inspired, I write more than usual, and when I write more than usual, there’s tendency that I will write something that is not appropriate for minors.

Fine, fine, it’s not the weather, I admit it, but I tend to get aroused by my own writing, especially those mushy scenes in my own novel. I am not quite sure how many authors out there seems to have problem with this, but I know those in my writing group tends to get carried away and gets aroused by their own writing, and couldn’t seems to stop writing ‘hot stuff’ and their novel would be in the danger of turning into literotica.

Anyway… I was writing a scene in my latest novel where the characters are standing in front of Bocca De La Verita. And the antagonist is worrying about entering her 30s when she began to ‘invade’ my mind. Yes… women in their 20s or late 20s often worry about going into their 30s. They felt old, unattractive and not to mention worried about their sexual performance.

You see, most women would worry that their sexual performance and satisfaction would decrease as they hit their 30s. They would worry that their partner would not desire them as much, and automatically… it will affect their mind and their libido would decrease.

Little did most women know that sex, actually gets better with age. Being experienced in bed is actually an advantage, of course, but what I want to talk about here is that there’s studies that indicate women could possibly get a G-spot orgasm easier in their 30s rather than in their 20s. This is indeed something to be looking forward to, isn’t it? LOL…

There is some evidence that the intensity of a woman’s G-spot orgasm is mediated by the hormone estrogen. Most young women under 30 find clitoral orgasms to be more powerful because, due to their relatively high estrogen levels, their vaginal lining becomes too thick to allow direct stimulation of their G-spot nerves.

As the estrogen level begins to decline in women during their 30s, the vaginal lining becomes thinner and the G-spot becomes more accessible during fingering or penetration. That’s why most women feel that they begin to peak sexually in their early to mid-30s.

Anyway, ladies and gentlemen, this is just a warm up. Next article, is the real thing, and I’m going to write about how to master a woman’s G-spot in order to give her intense G-spot orgasm. The next article is actually a request, and I have somehow forgotten about it til last night when I was researching for my latest novel in progress.

A friend of mine had requested me on ’someone’s behalf’ to write about squirting not long ago. However, if one wants to write about ’squirting’, one would have to talk about G-spot orgasm and stimulation.

Consider yourself being forewarned. Kindly stay away if you’re afraid of heat and not in the mood for some sizzling romance.

Cleffairy: When it gets too hot to handle, just strip it off and do some strip tease.

While I was beach combing with my husband in Teluk Batik on 15th February 2010, we found this big, beautiful seashell.

Might not be that big to all of you, but it’s very big to me, cuz when we’re doing the combing, it’s very hard for us to find big and perfect seashells.

I’ve always wanted a big seashell, but all these years, there’s not much luck. This is by far the biggest one I’ve ever found while beach-combing.

Part of the reason why I’ve been wanting to collect seashells is not just because I missed the sea and everything that’s related to it, but because I wanted to make shell castle as well.

Okay, what is shell castle, you ask me? Shell castle is this:

Shell castle is an arrangement made of seashells as well as coral debris that has been wash ashore.

You see, when I was a little girl, I used to make shell castle with my father after our beach-combing sessions. And craft making session turned into a round-robin storytelling session with my father around. I wrote the story down somewhere, but I couldn’t remember where I put the mini novella.

I still remember the story though. It started with…There’s once a princess who lived by the sea each summer. The princess often gets lonely during her summer holiday because people tend to befriend her for her status rather than herself, and so, every night, when her royal family members are busy partying and dancing away with their suitors, she would walk beneath the moonlight to search for seashells instead, so that she could listen to the ‘music’ that came from those seashells instead of listening to insincere flattery by her suitors who wants nothing but her money and status.

Many summers pass by, and her seashells collections grew, and she did not know what to do with it. She made many wind-chimes out of those seashells, and the music that came out of those seashells wind-chimes made the shape- shifting Sea Prince feel curious, and therefore, he transformed into a seagull and flew towards the princess’s window one fateful night. He befriended her, and soon after, he fell in love with her.

It’s been years since the first time the prince became her friend, and he wanted to make the sad and lonely princess happy, and so, he told her, if she made a small castle out of seashells and made a wish under the beneath the starry sky on the night of a harvest moon, her wish will come true.

And so, the princess did. She made a beautiful shell castle out of it, and wished for someone who loved her for who she is, and not what she is. And she wanted a kiss from that special someone.

The prince, who was nearby when she made the wish blushed to the root of his hair. Initially, he thought she would wish for something else and he would give it to her, and now, not knowing how to make her wish come true, he appeared before her in his human form, and told her the truth about everything…that he was actually the seagull, and he’s deeply sorry for not being able to make her wish come true.

The princess wasn’t amused by the fact that the prince had been deceiving her all this while in the form of the seagull, because she told him many personal things to him, and it embarrassed her. And it embarrassed her still because she made such wishes. Worst thing is, she fell in love with the handsome Sea Prince at the first sight as well.

She was angry with him for sneaking into her heart and deceiving her, and anger got the better of her, and she never wanted to see the prince ever again as she felt cheated.

She felt that the prince must have been having fun listening how foolishly she made wishes that might not come true, and he must be laughing at her naivety for even believing that her dreams would come true with just making shell castle.

The prince taught she was angry because he couldn’t make her dreams come true. So he latched onto her hand, and pulled her back and looked deep into her eyes. He then tell her, he could make any men fall in love with her  and be in love with her for who she is, but he is not willing to do it because he was deeply, madly in love with her, and he wants her for himself, and he couldn’t make her dreams come true because he doesn’t want to see her in another man’s arms.

The princess was shocked with his confession, of course. Initially, she thought her feelings are unrequited. And now that she knew that the prince is in love with her too, she told him to kiss her.

Much to her annoyance, he refused, and before she got mad at his refusal, he quickly tell her that he couldn’t kiss her, because he was cursed ever since he was born by his evil stepmother, and his kiss is poisonous and deadly to those who does not love him in return.

She smiled at his explanation then. And he was completely stunned and horrified when she stand on the tip of her toes and kissed him passionately on his lips before he could even stop her.

The Prince was surprised that nothing happened when she pulled away from him, except for her cheeks turning a few shades redder as a result of her bluntness. This is a first for him, as other girls whom he kissed, all dropped dead.

He smiled at her and dropped onto his knees and knelt before her. He then proposed to her. Being a cheeky princess she is, she told him that if he could make her a castle made of seashells from them to live in over night, she will marry him. And he did build a castle made from seashells for them to live in, with his magic.

The prince and the princess gets married of course, like every other fairy tale. But before they could live a happily ever after, their lives was filled with adventure… there are battles with giant squid monsters, incestuous and jealous stepmother as well as overprotective father.

There’s more to the story apart from the romantic ones that revolves around seashells and shell castles… there’s political disagreement and whatnot due to their marriage, but that’s another story to be told. But it is safe to say, the princess’s life was never boring and lonely . So I guess, all is good.

Cleffairy: To have a romantic and a long lasting marriage is just like building a shell castle. It takes a lot of patience and love to build one.

Believe that dreams and wishes do come true. Because they do. Earlier this year, I made a wish, that I can return to the sea to unwind, and collect seashells. As most of you probably known, I’ve always been a child of the sea, and the sea has always been a part of me, and it’s been almost 7 years since I went to the sea, and have my fair share of fun…building sandcastles…collecting seashells and making necklace as well as shell castles out of those seashells after a long session of beach- combing.

I wished so badly that I could go to the beach not just because I missed the beach life, but also because my latest novel revolves around the sea as well. For many years now, going to the beach is just a dream, and now I couldn’t feel more blessed that finally one of my dreams did come true. So, believe that dreams do come true, because they do.

I love seashells. It fascinates me. And to me, seashells are pretty much like human. They are beautiful and and unique in it’s own ways. None of them are truly identical to each other, and yet, they dwells in the same sea. Human are the same. We’re all different, and yet, we dwells the same Earth. The only difference is in some ways… ’seashells’  are better, as they live in harmony with each other despite of the difference, while us human, often fight with each other because we are different from one another.

It is surprising that considering our inseparable link to the sea, many of us human does not know, or knows very little about the sea…the place that holds so many mysterious marine lifeforms.

How many of us…have not combed through washed up beach debris to find elusive yet beautiful seashells? I’ve always make a point to comb through the beach each time I have the chance to find those seashells, or scientifically known as marine molluscs (a word derived from Latin, which means soft.)

Marine molluscs, or commonly known as seashells are the cast-off hard layer covering the soft bodied sea-snails. Those that had been washed ashore are the ‘empty homes’ where the sea snails are already dead and no longer dwelling inside.

Seashells, are spectacular to me because they come in various shapes, colours and appearance. The diversity is endless indeed. Many species defy logic and comprehension and some are so extraordinary that it is hard to believe that they are formed naturally.

After the Arthropods the Molluscs are the most successful of the animal phyla in terms of numbers of species. There are about 110,000 species known to science most of which are marine.

They occupy a vast range of habitats however both aquatic and terrestrial, from the arctic seas to small tropical streams and from valleys to mountainsides 7,000 metres high, there are a few adapted to live in deserts and some are parasitic.

They also exhibit an enormous range in size, from species which are almost microscopic to the largest of all invertebrates the giant squid which can weighs 270 kg and measures up to 12 metres long in the body, with tentacles as much as another 50 metres in length.

Many species are common and many more a beautiful. Most species secrete a shell of some sort, these shells are long lasting and have been collected by human beings for thousands of years, some of these shells, and the pearls which come from oysters, which are also molluscs may be among the earliest forms of money.

Most molluscs are marine. Molluscs are very ancient organisms believed to have evolved from a flatworm like ancestor during the Precambrium about 650 million years ago. Because many species secrete a shell of some sort the fossil record is good.

Different classes of molluscs have been predominant in the past and the Ammonites represent a group of Cephalopods which were extremely abundant for millions of years before they became extinct. There close relatives the Nautiloid cephalopods were also once very successful but are now only represented in the world by one species, Nautilus.

Molluscs, because of their ease of capture, edibility and beauty have long been important to mankind. Molluscs of many sorts are eaten by humans Abilone, Clams, Cockles, Muscles, Octopus, Oysters, Periwinkles, Scallops, Snails, Squid, Whelks, Winkles and many more are all molluscs and all make there contribution to the human diet.

Mankind has been deliberately culturing molluscs as food for a long time and the earliest known records of someone farming molluscs for food come from Rome where one Sergius Orata bred oysters.

Mollusc shells have also had a long history of usage by mankind, many have been used as decorations, or as a substance to carve into cameos and buttons. In North America Tusk shells on the west coast and Cockles on the East supplied the basis of a system of money, in many tropical countries the shells of coweries were until recent times used extensively in trade.

Pearls, which arise in oysters as a result of the oysters attempts to cover up a grain of sand within its mantle, have been and still are much sort after. The ‘mother of pearl’ used to make pearl buttons comes from bivalve shells and so great was the market for it that the Mississippi and Missouri river basins have been seriously over collected and the bivalves are now quite scarce.

In ancient times the city of Tyre was famous for its purple dye, this dye was made from a marine mollusc called Murex sp. while Sepia, a brown pigment used by artists was, perhaps still is, made from the ink of Cuttlefish. Not all the interactions between man and molluscs are to man’s benefit however, slugs and snails are, in some places, serious pests of of crops, and are often a nuisance in people’s gardens. Wooden ships and wharves can be destroyed by burrowing bivalves such as Teredo navalis, known as ship worms, which weaken the timbers until they collapse or fall apart.

I’ve always been irresistibly attracted to seashells. I used to wonder why. But not anymore. It’s simply because while it is a part of nature, it is different from any other creation. And there’s more about seashells to me. Seashells bring sea to my home. It reminds me of the sea. As when I place the seashell on my ear, it’s as if I can hear the soft, gentle waves hitting the sand. This, fascinates me.

Anyway, enough of marine biology. I think I am boring everyone here. Let’s take a breather from science, and next up would be a tale of shell castle…

Cleffairy: Believe that dreams do come true, because they do.