Be A Man, Protect Her and Give Her The Big O

What’s up with you men? You guys may look like a hunk, with six pack and suave moves that may swoon any ladies on the street with your charms and smiles, but in bed, tsk tsk tsk. You men, especially Asian men simply lack action, initiative and romance towards your lover, wife, partner, girlfriend, or whatever you want to call the one who shares your bed. Your dance of desires on the bed are simply lame, routine, boring and lack of creativity. What’s up, men, never heard of kamasutra? Well, google it.

Most woman would be relieved if you get off from her after you’re done with your deeds and secretly have the desire to kick you men off from the bed for being selfish in bed. Most of you men simply ‘throw’ your woman on the bed, get on her, do whatever you need to do and roll off to your side when your done shooting your loads, and snore off to dreamland, leaving your woman to grumble at your act.

What’s up with the rush for ejaculation without pleasuring your woman until she scream your name mindless? What’s wrong with you men? Not man enough to make an effort to make your lady satiated and crave for more of your wild gentle ministration? Come on, men, show us women what you guys are made of. Must you men cut short foreplays just to satisfy your own needs?

Must you men snore off five minutes after ejaculating and ignore your woman’s need for afterplay? A woman needs to feel loved and appreciated, not feel like being ‘used’ as a sex tool for men to release their need. Yes, men. There is such thing as an afterplay. I doubt that most of you don’t care about it enough to know what it actually means.

Husbands, how many of you manage to give your wife an orgasm and get her to scream your name mindless? Studies shown that there are a lot of married woman who never actually experienced an orgasm before and most admit that they actually have to fake an orgasm so that their husband/partner would not be hurt during a their hush hush woman talk with their peers.

For women who have been at least more than two years of relationship with the same man would wryly admit that their man would make an effort to please them in bed at the beginning of their relationship, but soon enough, without fail, their man’s passion in bed would be laughable. Men no longer made an effort to put some fire in their bedroom performance after some time in their relationship, and sex, soon would be a one week once routine activity that is done half-heartedly that probably last less than 30 minutes per session instead of a one or two hour of raw passion and displays of love.

Sex is not just about duty and obligation towards your partner or the need to release your stress or pent up frustration, but it’s a consummation of love, and it’s supposed to bring your relationship to to a higher ground, and improve the relationship that you have out of the bedroom. Sex should be a tool that bond your soul together, not just some certain thing that is manipulated to ‘release your manly needs’.

And what’s this about you men refusing to use condoms to protect your partner from unplanned/unwanted pregnancy and STD/STI? Why is it you men give 1001 reasons not to use one? Here’s some lame and common excuses that you men usually use to reason with your woman on not using a condom. I bet there are more in your head that I did not manage to list over here:

1. Condoms are too expensive. Using one would be a waste of money, because we will end up throwing it away, anyway. So better save the money.

2. Lack of ‘feeling’ when using a condom because the rubber is too tight on my ….(insert your favourite pet name for your penis)

3. It won’t be so easy to get pregnant, so don’t need to use a condom. Let’s just use withdrawal technique instead.

4. I don’t have a condom with me. That proves I’m a good guy, I never slept with anyone else before besides you.

5. I’m too shy to get one from the drugstore, because the cashier will know that I will be having sex.

6. Condoms are hard to put on.

7. Condoms will spoil the mood, if I take some time to use it, I might not be in the mood for sex later.

8.Ejaculating inside without anything to impede is simply sexy and macho. I feel good doing it.

9. I don’t know how to use a condom.

10. I want to wait until just before ejaculating before using a condom. Don’t worry, no cum, no pregnancy.

Seeing the reasons that you men use to get your woman to have sex with your without protection when you’re not planning to conceive a child yet really never cease to amuse me. Who says men are not vocal? They are indeed vocal when it comes to getting women to do what they want them to do and have it their way.

For your information, ladies and gentleman, not using a condom during sexual intercourse does not guarantee that your partner would not get pregnant as long as you do not ejaculate inside. The pre-cum fluid does contain sperms. So ladies and gentleman, if you and your partner are not ready to face the fact that you won’t be having sex at the same time nine month later but got stuck trying to pacify a wailing infant who gets hungry every two hours and poop on the diapers after each feeding, please, by all means, use protection in a correct manner.

Men, don’t give the lame excuse that condoms are expensive and stuff. If you can afford to buy some disgustingly hi- tech toys like handphones and cars and not to mention can afford to treat your peers for lunch or tea, you definitely can afford to buy a pack or a box of condoms. Too shy to get some condoms from the drugstore is just an excuse not to use one, so woman, never fall for such excuses.

Women, you definitely have the rights to say no to an invitation to sexual intercourse by your partner if he refuse your suggestion to use any form of protection or if you’re not in the mood to have sex. Say no if you don’t feel like doing it. This does not only apply to women. Men, you can say no to sex too, if you’re not in the mood to have sex. Lack of desire or lust may affect your performance in bed, and consequently, may build resentment and dissatisfaction about each other in your relationship. Your sex life may indeed affect the life outside of it, be it you realize it or not.

Feel free to talk about what you like and what you do not like about your making love session honestly. Don’t keep what you’re not satisfied about your partner’s performance in bed to yourself. Keeping it to yourself is not going to improve your sex life as your partner may not be aware about it. The more you learn about each other’s need and try to improve your sex life, the better your relationship would be.

Some religion would have you believe that sex is merely an obligation and women should surrender to men/husband’s need by laying down on the bed and stare at the ceiling while accepting whatever it is to come to you, but that is definitely not true. You’re made of flesh and blood, and you are entitle to be pleasured in bed. Again and again, yours truly would like to stress that sex is not an obligation, but a union that bind two soul as one.

I have recently learn that women are quite reluctant to talk about condoms and protection, even when they are hired to do so in my recent visit to Durexpsonible Exhibition that goes on the same time as the GOssip event that I attended. Such thing should be addressed. Why should women feel intimidated or shy when talking about sex and the usage of birth control and protection? I was very annoyed to find that the Durex ladies who are in charge of the exhibition are timid women who refuses to even talk about the importance of condoms. Durex Malaysia should address this matter.

They did not even made an effort to explain their product range, but simply hand up brochures and free condoms samples and considered that their job is done. When I was asking their product range, not just condoms but lubricants and sex toys that Durex produce, I found myself pretty annoyed that they actually lack knowledge in it. If you are going to behave like a shrew when your job is supposed to explain to people about the importance of safe sex, you might as well go home and do nothing. It’s a shame that the ones chosen to promote Durex product are not doing justice to the products that Durex produced.

I was very disappointed to find out that in this modern society where campaign about celebrating and liberating women is done over and over again by various parties and individuals, the same mindset still remains unchanged. What does it take, actually, to make women to talk about sex and whatnot openly without feeling degraded or intimidated? I have been talking and writing about sex, unwanted/unplanned pregnancy, abortion and whatever that is related to sex since I was in high school, so why the rest of my kind can’t do the same?

As annoyed and disappointed I was with the lack of knowledge that the Durexsponsible representative has, I still manage to get some freebies, brochures and a couple of pictures despite of the nasty and stereotyping look that probably labeled me as a bitch for asking questions about sex and protection openly. Fine, give me the nasty glares, at least I am aware of the importance of being well informed about safe sex. The pictures below are some of the things at the Durex booth.

One of the banner at the exhibition

One of the banner at the 'exhibition'

The Durex ladies...taking a breather?

The Durex ladies...taking a breather?

Brochures and free condom samples

Brochures and free condom samples

My Durex Featherlite Ultima freebies loot.

My Durex Featherlite Ultima freebies loot.

And the thing that catches my eyes from the beginning of my visit to the Durex booth. The pretty dress that was displayed at the booth. It’s cream in colour, sheer and silky. Don’t be fooled by the beautiful appearance though. I doubt it’s meant to be worn as a casual material, because it’s actually made from hundreds or maybe thousands of condoms. I assume it’s made from Durex Featherlite Ultima, because I took the liberty to touch the dress, and it’s as soft as satin and silk, and the texture of the condoms was extremely thin. It’s also lubricated. Ladies, you might want to get a dress made of condoms. That might knock some clues to your thickheaded and bloke of a man who wants to have sexual intercourse with you without protection.

The dress thats made from condoms. Very sexy and alluring.

The dress that's made from condoms. Very sexy and alluring.

A close up of the condom dress.

A close up of the condom dress.

The back of the condom dress is also prettily crafted.

The back of the condom dress is also prettily crafted.

Cleffairy: Ladies and gentleman, to have a quality making love session, you need to have a protected and uninterrupted time together. Keep your family members at bay and annoying handphones away, and make sure you don’t bring work and worries into the bedroom while you’re in action.


  1. cleffairy says:

    LOL, Rose. πŸ˜€ You’re still single? I’m sure you can find a loving bf who adores you one day.

    Yeah, I would like to try the condom dress too. looks very pretty. but i think it’ll be sticky and oily on our skin. LOL. Maybe a chiffon or silk version of the dress would be better for us. πŸ˜›

  2. Sinatra_Z says:

    Well as much as I like to be a love machine I have to admit one thing..

    Though I have plenty of theoretical knowledge in this subject,
    Never really had any practical application.

    So there’s a really good chance that I might not perform very well on my first gig.

    Oh and

    Selamat hari raya
    maaf zahir batin

  3. flippy says:

    i loved ur post! stumbled upon it thru gossip.. and its SO true! u guys need to pay attention to the small details πŸ™‚ altho it also helps if girls out there are willing to be more expressive n communicate with ur partner abt wat u want n what makes u feel good.. from my exp. guys realli need coaching cos they can be pretty clueless!

  4. cleffairy says:

    Pete… lmao… Prince of Latex? You know, you’re actually giving me ideas…does the Sleepyhead starring as Prince of latex appeal to you? Hmm… or Prince of Viagra? Does it suit him? Whahahahah. OMG…I need to clean up my head abit, it’s getting dirty.

    Sinatra… alot husbands arr, especially Malaysian husbands, can be some animal in bed for first few years of marriage. But when the babies started to arrive… passion flew out of the window and they start to find excuse to go out for kopi at mamak stall with their kaki bola. LOL. Hope you wun enrol in such kedai mamak club when you’re married. πŸ˜› Ohh, don’t worry about your first night, I’m pretty sure that almost everyone have their awkward moment. I guess things get better with patience, experiments and experience. And yeah, before I forget, Selamat Hari Raya Maaf Zahir Batin to you and your family. Be safe during raya, drive carefully and no meriam buluh,okay? No booM boom, i don’t want to hear any posting in your blog about any trip to the hospital. πŸ˜€

    Vern…it’s really lipbalm? OMG… I had no idea… I thought those lubricants are not meant for ‘oral’ use unless stated so on the condom packaging. πŸ˜›

    Flippy, hi there, welcome to my blog. Thank you for visiting and commenting on my article. My articles are usually long… so I guess not much people will spend time to really read it. I bet most just browse through the main points. πŸ˜€ It really does help if both party are willing to talk about sex openly without feeling offended, right? I’m more than sure the outcome of the discussion would be very positive for their relationship. I couldn’t agree more with you…guys really need more motivation on how to please their ladies. Most are not actually clueless, well, maybe most are clueless…but they do watch porn and stuff behind their partner’s back all every now and then. So I think most would actually have the brief idea on how to make a woman go wild. They simply lack the initiative to do so, I guess. Either lack of initiative, or just self centered, wanting their own release. It’s interesting to note that most Asian men usually put their pleasure first before their partner while their European and Spanish counterpart gloats over their achievements on making their ladies orgasm πŸ˜›

  5. fergie says:

    Wow .. very interesting, Cleffy n I agree d condom dress cud b rather sticky n oily .. yukky. Many blogging about “d**kheads* n u blod about condoms .. very appropriate. I know of one bald head I would like to cover in a BIG condom and let it suffocate … hahahaha

  6. calvin says:

    what you’ve posted on today is so, so true. ive many of my frens (both married and single) that they can perform for hours…(for the singles, of course one night stand or prostitutes lor…..blardy suckers). but never once i heard them say that their mates was satisfied or was screaming out their name for more. im not saying this because i love women….generally speaking. but yes, it is a vital part of marriage life to satisfy both the husband and the wife. its not just pushing and shoving your manhood like the ones you watch in porn…besides, they’re all fake.

    for me, since both of us are working, there are no specific day or time for intimacy. when we both feel like it, we’ll just do it. but rach is very obvious….she’ll be extra manja at night. so hint, hint lor….hahaha. we’re not ashamed to share this because we are all working adults. but dont try imagine lar okie….hehehehe.

    rachel for one, do not like me wearing a condom. she said that the lubricant would eventually dry out and the friction caused from it would hurt her. so, lucky me…lol. we talked about it, how we should perform, how to do it, how fast or slow etc…….actually, my mom shared her knowledge with me. i was so damn malu. dont know where to put my face in. if only there was a toilet bowl nearby πŸ˜›

    i bought a making love tutorial and motivation dvd to boost up my marriage and it did work!!!! men, do not feel ashamed if you cannot perform…talk to your partner, maybe your method is just not right. if you need some advise, drop me a mail….hahaha. can burn the dvd and send it to ya as well………price can be negotiated, hahahaha.

  7. pamina says:


    but yeah its sad that hetero women are not enjoying as much sex. i think men can do it, but it takes effort. but its not even that hard. try giving instead of recieving all the time.

    some time giving is just as pleasureable as giving, dont u agree with me cleff?

  8. cleffairy says:

    Pete, Malaysian Rubber Man? I wun even start imagine. OMG… I really cannot imagine… lol.

    Fergie…you mean botak arr? Yeah, I also want to cover botak in one big condom and let him suffocate… he’s good for nothing but sputter rubbish only. Geram. But that’s not the only head I want to cover in condom and let em suffocate, there’s many more. *grinZ* OMG… I sounded so sadist!

    … yalohh… some men really can perform all night long while some wun even last more than 15 minutes*shakes head*…but then again, what’s the point arr, if the partner is not satisfied with the whole… err…action. Ahaha. For men, satisfaction is usually physical, but women are different…orgasm usually may not only be aroused by physical touching or contact, but also emotionally…so that must be the reason why it’s harder for women to achieve satisfaction when she’s having sex with her partner. Majority of women do not scream for more, but instead, silently wish that the man gets off her soon, as the whole act done by her partner did not serve to excite her. Most are one-sided pleasure. I’ve heard the ‘talks’ between men sometimes. Men usually gloat on how long their member can ‘stand up’, but never gloat about how they manage to bring their partner to orgasm over and over again and make the lady addicted to them. That, never. πŸ˜› I think if a man could gloat about their achievement on making a woman satisfied and wanting more, now, that is sexy and macho.
    Calvin, it’s not when or where you choose to make love, but with who. Anywhere, anytime, or right there and then, but NEVER anybody also can. LOL. Correct or not? Ahaha, shiet, this is embarrassing lah. Calvin, you should be Nike’s representative lah…”Just do it” LMAO. Some men prefers to protect their women by using protection, some don’t.

    I guess same goes to women too. Some don’t really like the feeling of the rubber…for some, ribbed condoms can be an absolute turn on, while for some, it’s plain irritating. Rachel is right at some point, because the lubricants of the condoms does not last long, and tends to dry up pretty fast, and that doesn’t help if the woman is not aroused and her vaginal secretion dries up too. Usually branded condoms like Durex…dries up pretty fast…I guess it’s a way to market their lube product…because they recommend the consumer to use condom and their water based lubricant product in enhance pleasure. But if you’re married and opt not to use a condom and is prepared for any unplanned pregnancy, it’s ok. But if you’re single and refused to use it to protect yourself and your partner, that, is simply outrageous and downright irresponsible.

    Gawd, I cannot believe you had ‘the talk’ with your mom! That is unbelievable. One would have to go over my dead body if I were to discuss such matter with my mother… or father… or sister. LOL.If anyone of my older or younger family members were to start talking about sex with me…I’m not sure if I can bear it. I feel so downright wrong talking about sex to someone who used to change my diapers or toilet train me. I can talk about this matter with anybody but my parents and sister! Ahaha. Calvin, we both may be muka tembok la, discussing about this openly, but our dear Pete is malu lohh… see him… he must be very very experience, but malu to share lohhh.. πŸ˜›

    Huh, you go and did what? Bought a making love tutorial and motivation dvd? LMAO… this is precious…what kind is it? Very visual wan ar? Or it’s like kamasutra? Eh, Calvin, see, see, see this!
    Aiya, don’t worry lah, it’s not naked wan.(looks around for Rachel). Eyy, you might want to try the positions with her. Ahaha, Have fun, k? if not enough, i still have a copy of the Kamasutra e-book somewhere. *chuckles*

    Eyyy, don’t be such a Scrooge lah… share with us lah. LOL. Wud DVD arh?

    … some men are just lazy. Ahaha. Lack initiative to pleasure a woman who shares their bed. Yeah, I absolutely agree with you, giving is as pleasurable as receiving. This is very true, well, at least to me, it is.

  9. keatix says:

    hey heyy! wow, for once i visit thi site, u wrote on this subject huh? lol. good on yer…lol.

    anyway, sorry, juz a quick HI to u. cannot log into wordpress when in china, but here in rotterdam, i can. will b here for a while, so can read yr stuff…but there is juz too much work…meantime, u enjoy yr big O yeah?

    u take care ah jie.

  10. michelle says:

    Cleffairy, it would have been a great exposure if you attended the sex forum on the 2nd day. Why? because, a group of us just basically talked everything about sex, and we broadcasted it all over asia cafe. some of the questions and opinions posed were challenging, funny but real. and it was no shame for us to talk about it because sex is happening everywhere, not just the act itself. kissing, holding hands, communicating- it’s all part of sex. i guess, i learned the most thru that small forum.
    and i also learned that there is this one durex lubricant that can be used as a lip balm, it’s edible and it tasted like minty bubblegum. i cannot remember the full name of the product, but durex only produces 3 kinds of lubricants, and the one im talking about is a green coloured bottle.
    almost everyone was sceptical about that lubricant, until we convinced them to try it on their lips and lick it.

  11. cleffairy says:

    Ktx… you went to China? πŸ˜› So long din see you over here. LOL… how’s your trip? Good? Aiya… I have nothing better to do, that’s why wrote about this. Ahahaha. Got see any ahgua show in China anot? LMAO… you play safe, k? Ahahaha. πŸ˜›

    Michelle… if I’m not mistaken, that lubricant is pleasure enhancing lubricant… ahaha… it’s Durex play. There’s two type of lubricant… the one that have minty taste is Durex Tingle range. LOL. Meant to be used with the Durex tingle condom with green coloured packaging. Then there’s another, red bottle … also from Durex play range, but that one doesn’t give tingling sensation like the minty one, but it’s a warming lubricant. The other one that a lot of people are not familiar is Play Massage… functioned as lubricant as well as massage oil. πŸ˜›

    The product that caught my attention the most have to be the condom that can vibrate as well as their vibrator range. There’s even a small battery attached to it. So damn cute! Too bad the Durex exhibitor did not put it on display. I’d really like to see how it’s really like. I’m not sure if their vibrator range are sold in Malaysia, anyway. Din see em anywhere in major drugstore.LMAO.

    But anyway…I think if you’re creative enough with food, I think chocolate sauce and whip cream can be pretty sexy too. LMAO… okay, I wun go too far. I’ll be giving some of my readers over here kinky ideas. πŸ˜› Maybe next time I’ll try to attend Go Safe. It’s just too bad that I didn’t manage to take leave to attend GO Safe the other day. πŸ™

  12. flippy says:

    i’ve seen the vibrating ones in guardian πŸ™‚ but havent tried b4.. from my research they jst attach a small vibrating device meant for stimulation of the clitoris.. but dunno how long the battery can tahan la.. LOL
    i think younger guys nowadays do put more emphasis on pleasing their ladies as they r getting more exposure n are less embarrassed to discuss sex with their female friends! i guess for older guys.. they’re either too lazy or maybe being in a relationship for a long time jst makes things mundane.. so couples gotta take it up a notch n try diff positions/places etc. go for a holiday or get some sexy lingerie! haha but i think girls have to be firm on protection n take care of urself.. insist on the condom or bring them urselves n if the guy dowanna use then too bad la! kick him away πŸ™‚ gotta make them work for it k dun give in so easily ^_^

  13. A Man says:

    Actually, the lubricants embedded or shall I say coated in a condom is to ease penetration of men who has xtra large manhood. A malaysian girl cannot stand an 8″ long and a 1.5 inch shaft manhood can she? I mean not too many can stand the pain. It may be a stumbling block to women’s orgasms.


  14. A Man says:

    Oh yeah, I miss the crucial point of lubricants in a condom – to deter the fraction during sexual intercourse against tearing.

    Thanks. πŸ™‚

  15. cleffairy says:

    Flippy, wah, it’s available in Guardian? I did not notice…anyway, you’re right. Older people or people who are in a relationship longer really lack initiative or lazy. LOL…so everything became routine and mundane, lack passion.

    Seng… my didi gogo liao! Bo duit raya for you… you so naughty! What you want to learn ah? lai, learn how to clean up the house, wan bo? Den can help jie clean up the house for Xmas. Hohohoho! πŸ˜›

    A Man,welcome to my blog. Yes, it is for better penetration, but I believe that the lubricant does not last long, and as Calvin’s wife had said.. the lubricant that’s on the condom tend to dry up pretty fast and does not stimulate natural vaginal secretion the same way as the penis itself does, unless with the additional usage of water-based lubricant. LOL… 8 inch long of men’s penis would be nothing in comparison to a 30inch long baby, wouldn’t it? And it doesn’t matter if that particular woman in question is Malaysian or not, because in contrary to what most would like to believe, the vagina does not tear easily, unless you’re referring to the hymen. Of course, if the man who is coupling with the woman could not arouse the woman enough to stimulate the natural vaginal secretion,even with the help of lubricated condom, the penetration would cause the woman discomfort.

    Most women choose to give birth through the vagina without the aid of drug, only minor injection at the vagina before episiotomy (some may opt for epidural or C-sec), so I guess women’s vagina’s anatomy is made to accommodate penis of most size. i guess women do have a high threshold of pain, after all.

  16. cleffairy says:

    Celine, men who give “Condom are hard to put on” as a reason not to use condom during sexual intercourse is a bloke. LOL. Should kick him out of the bed immediately.It’s just an excuse lah. πŸ˜›

  17. freaky.. says:

    Wow Cleff..
    I must be a freak!!! I loved to make love and make my lover scream her head off & scream for heaven when she argasms….. all the sleasy word make lovemaking more exciting…. he he he…LOL

  18. cleffairy says:

    Freaky, thank you for visiting and commenting. Good for your lady then if you’re concern enough to put her pleasure before yours. I hope it’s making love you are referring to, and not plain raw sex. πŸ˜€

  19. AnGeL says:

    Lizzy, some women are just glad that the man did not just ‘touch and go’. That would be even more horrible than not getting an orgasm during sex.

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