For the first time…

This is to the one who held my hands with tears glinting in his eyes and told me that they are beautiful, and one day, I shall hold many hearts in it the way I held his. This may not make much sense to everyone, but this man…he’ll always have a special place in my heart, til the day that it stopped beating.

This man…he means a lot to me, because he’s the only man in this whole wide world who truly know what I like, what dislike and what I loathe. He’s the only one in the world who probably know that I love listening to Rod Steward, Bryan Adams, Sting, MLTR and the only one who did not laugh at me when I told him that I had a crush on Jason Donovan and admired Kylie Minogue.

This man…was the one who taught me how to waltz and dance, and when I got tired and breathless with all the dancing and yet still refuse to stop, he’ll take off my shoes, and let me step on his feet so that I could still dance longer and told me, that each time I’m tired and yet still want to go on dancing, he’ll always be there for me, holding my hands and lead me to dance, and catch me when I fall.

This man… he’s my hero…he was there for me when I was sick and scared, and had tears in his eyes when I was on the verge of death. He held my hands mournfully, with unshed tears and a smile inspired on his lips with prayers in his heart, encouraging me to be brave as I told him not to let go of me as they wheeled me into the operation theater. I remembered those time well… as he was the only one there, truly concern for my pains while the rest seems to be oblivious to my feelings. He kissed my forehead, and told me not to be afraid, for he will be there for me when I wake up.

God loves me, for he gave me this man, who tells me to be brave and be a fighter, and stay strong because the world is a cruel place, and if I need him, he’ll be there for me when I am tired and need a shoulder to cry upon.

Thank you God, for giving me this man, and remembering the times with that man who shall always have a special place in my heart, I feel that for the first time, one lifetime with him is not enough. Thank you God, for giving me such a wonderful daddy in whose heart, I’ll always be his little girl.

Quote from Cleffairy’s latest novel: I wish I can give you the world, but the world doesn’t belong to me. You can have my heart instead.


    • Cleffairy says:

      *pengsan* My husband is not into dancing. I only danced once with my husband, and he stepped on my feet. Very apek sekali! But my dad is a very good dancer, he taught me how to dance when I was a little girl… πŸ˜›

  1. fatty oldman says:

    i thot u flaunt ur hubby til wana cry skali ur father…

    nw u got me in disbelieving that me dear good father had left us last april… πŸ™

    • Cleffairy says:

      OMG! Wtf, why everyone tot I was talking about my hubby? It’s my daddy lah, my daddy!!!

      So sorry lah, kawan… I din mean to remind you about your recently deseased father. πŸ™ I’m so sorry to hear about that. I pray he’ll rest in peace.

    • Cleffairy says:

      Yeah… daddies are great. πŸ˜€ Mummies too… but unfortunately for me… ever since I left home, I become more and more fond of my daddy and find that my mum is quite hard to communicate with. πŸ™

  2. claire says:

    i ALSO tot you were writing about your hero hubby..
    ok u r daddy’s girl.. like that song..butterfly kisses..
    your daddy must be very proud of u.. this piece is really touching!!

    • Cleffairy says:

      If I were to write about my husband… it wouldn’t sound as sweet as this. It would either be a pissed off one, or an almost X-rated one, Claire. LOL…

      Yeah, Butterfly Kisses… damn lerr, that song. It neve fail to give me teary eyes.

  3. fatty oldman says:

    normaly married ppl owes wil tok bout their partner mar… ;P

    he sure rest in peace as he alrdy pass down everything b4 he gone but i nvr had chance repay bk as i did many thing so many rebelious towards him… ;(

    • Cleffairy says:

      Not much can talk about my husband… unless it’s about sex and how pissed I am at him sometimes. πŸ˜› Besides…my relationship with my husband is not really for publics’ knowledge, and I prefer to keep it behind closed doors. Not quite sure I’m comfortable telling my X-rated story with my husband in public. LOL…

      God bless your father’s soul. We tend to feel wistful about our parents, eh? I feel that way too, though my parents are still alive. I feel that I am not doing much to repay all their good deeds to me. Feel that I am a useless daughter at times, because i dun do much for them. πŸ™

  4. ericlee says:

    Nice…i suppose you felt to write about this after reading my post? hahaha brushing my own ego…XD

    anyway, your dad is such a great person to know what you like listening to because not much dad really cares…and how he teaches you to dance…damn i wish i had a dad who could shuffle!! XD God really do bless you…

    Oh yeah…I guess my dad too know what i likes by sending me err….*ehem” pictures =_=

    • Cleffairy says:

      LOL… Eric… In some ways, yeah… I wrote this after reading your entry… but den… I always write about my dad wan lerr… LOL… I really look up to him, and admire his wisdom. He was strict with me and my sis when we were younger, but he made our childhood memorable. He knows when to be tough and when to let us cry. πŸ˜€

      LOL…yeah, he taught me how to dance when I was a little girl. Same goes with my sister… good dancer. Must have gotten the gene from my grandfather. My grandfather can dance like nobody’s business. Cha cha and tango? No problem. LOL…he’s a better dancer than me, my dad and my sis combined! Imagine that!

      LOL… guess men will always be men. LOL…he sent ahemm pictures to you? Wow, your dad is cool!

    • Cleffairy says:

      πŸ™ I know… but you know something? I always feel hard to believe that he’s not that young anymore. It is so difficult to remember that he’s growing older by the day. In my mind, he’s always 30++ forever. Strange, isn’t it? I wonder why I feel this way.

  5. fatty oldman says:

    x rated bout ur sex life can be told unless no one knew who u r…lol

    at least u can still try to do all the best for them…mine everything also too late…i wish i were nvr born by them as they way i treated them… ;(

    • Cleffairy says:

      Ppl know me or not is another issue…it’s just that i dun like talking about my personal stuff when there’s other thing I can talk about.

      πŸ™ Dono how to do the best…I’m a bad daughter wan. Very tak guna… just know how to manja… but dono how to balas budi wan.

    • Cleffairy says:

      Yes… even though I have my own family now… he’ll always have a special place in my heart, that’s not for anyone else. I am sure, your daughter will be like me too. You’ll have a special place in her heart too, no matter how old she grows up to be.

  6. Merryn says:

    My fav song. Wanted to have it played during my wedding tapi takut sob sob sob until make up all run.. so.. decided against it.. ur hubs has a difficult shoes to fill.. u r daddy’s little girl.. πŸ™‚

    • Cleffairy says:

      LOL… despite of what people believe… I am actually very easy to please. All people need to do is love me unconditionally and my heart is theirs. Yes, I am daddy’s little girl…why can’t I be? When hubby himself is mummy’s boy? He’s not the only one who have a difficult shoe to fill.

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