I tuned into the radio a couple of days ago while driving, and this is quite a rare thing for me to do, because usually I would opt to listen to my own Cds instead of tuning into the radio as I’m quite against payola that’s practiced by most radio station. I consider listening to songs that’s just mediocre but aired so many times a day that one would have lost count something stressful. Besides payola, I also lack tolerance towards annoying deejays and the calling-ins session, where Q&A are sometimes so stupid that you could have given anything to strangle both the deejay on air as well as their obnoxious callers.
However, the other day, when I was about to switched to my regular driving Cd, my ears caught a discussion that interest me. It was about freeloaders and it immediately flared me up, because I really lack tolerance for freeloaders, among other things.
I wasn’t really paying attention to the discussion, however, I thought freeloading is quite a despicable thing to do, especially for working and married adults. I can never tolerate someone who are selfish enough to practice freeloading. I’ve experienced such thing in my life, where people that I know, be it friends or relative takes advantage of me pretty often, as I have the tendency of treating people for tea or a meal every now and then. It’s a learned behaviour. My father is the kind of people who will pay for group lunch, etc. He’s a charitable man, and he believed that what goes round will come around. To a certain degree, I’m in agreement with my dear father, but unlike him, I have limits because my savings account could not afford to be so charitable towards undeserving people.
Let’s take this as an example, shall we?When one goes out for a group lunch or even a midnight tea session, sometimes, one person would be offering to pay the bills, right? It’s common for close friends or relative to pay the bills for one another every now and then, and next time the group go out together, a different person would be offering to clear the bills. However, I am sure some of you noticed that sometimes there’s at least one person who never once offered to pay the bills or even pay up for his or her part. What’s worst, after a few times, that particular person would probably sit there and just let others settle his bill and behaves as if it’s other’s responsibility to pay for what he had ordered.
I am not sure what contribute to this kind of negative attitude-are they stingy or have financial problems? My guess it’s not really financial situation that contribute to such thing, as some people would rather starve when they do not have money rather than leech around for a free lunch or two.
Frankly speaking, I think freeloaders are selfish kind of people. They keep their own money for their own personal usage. They could splurge on a shopping spree and even swipe the cards to their heart content yet they have no common courtesy to even offer to pay for themselves during group lunch, dinner and whatnot. When family and friends are fed up with their attitude and shy away from them, they would find new victim who would be willing to pay for them. And the cycle would go on and on endlessly.
Freeloaders will usually leech and leech from others countlessly and would never feel ashame about it. They are thick-skinned people with lack of courtesy to even begin with. They don’t give a damn on what others thought about their attitude. Absolutely thick skinned species of human. But these kind, is still tolerable to certain extent because the amount of money is not so huge, unless of course, you do maths according to the accumulate amount they leeched from you.
The type of freeloader that I could never ever tolerate is the kind that involves big money where they would rely on others for stylish and lavish lifestyle when they could not afford to live such a lifestyle. These are the kind of people that disgust me to no end. Some girls would opt to be a sugarbaby so that they could have an easy life by leeching their sugardaddies. Some women are willing to to be a married man’s mistress just so that she could go on shopping spree as often as they would make trip to toilet to urinate.
There’s of course those relative freeloaders who do not know how to live within their means. Some married men would want the best and branded stuff for their wife and children, but could not afford to do so, and so would resort to sending off their kids to their parents or in laws to take care of their kids for them, and never contribute a single cent to their parents or in laws for taking care of their children for them. These people will turn a deaf ear when their parents or in laws try to ‘extort’ money from them. They will give excuse, saying that they are not financially stable when in truth, they are spending those money for their own enjoyment, eg, second car, vacation, golf trips, etc. Some men allowed their wife to swipe their cards and when they are in debt, they would hunt some poor friends or relative to ‘borrow’ them some money so that they could clear their credit card debts. Those money, of course are as good as gone, as they never intend to return the money in the first place.
I really hate freeloaders, as I think it’s a selfish act, and rather unethical sometimes, depending on the situation. But while we can avoid and be frank with friends or colleague who have tendency to freeload, how do we avoid or tell off relatives who tend to freeload and you could not say anything to them because you are afraid that by doing so, they will get mad at you and severe family ties or even spread nasty rumours about you within your family caused others to shun and shy away from you?
Trust me on this, freeloaders are not only skilled in extorting and leeching money from people, but they are also skilled in defaming and ruining other’s reputation too. So, how do you handle this kind of people? I am not the brightest crayon in the box, and i hope my dear readers would spare some time to share their experience in dealing with freeloaders.
Cleffairy: Living within your means is a noble thing to do.
Hi dear…
I’m agree with you. There’s always people like that. Make us can’t tolerate with the situations sometimes. But, as for me, I found some difficulties when facing this type of person. I rather kept my lips seal if the person is closed with me, but, I’ll try ignore his/her invitation after that.
Huh~Like anyone want to be in their trap after know their behaviors are like that.
…but, I always hope that they have strong reasons for it~
I have experience with my wife’s aunt and her children. She is a classic example, my wife’s aunt, affectionately called Aunty Heather, visits us regularly!!! She doesnt ask if its ok to visit, she just call and tells us she is coming!! My wife cant say no, because she doesnt want to upset her. Anyway when she visits, she brings her two grown ass children, both in their 20s, she stays for a couple of days.
She and her kids use a different towel each time they shower, one occasion the bastards used 20 towels for 1 weekend, they mess up the house, pile up the dirty dishes, which my wife has to wash, which they use, and they get three meals a day. Now this woman comes almost every weekend and holiday staying for a couple of days, because of her I hate weekends and holidays.
Me and my wife always argue when Aunty Heather and her kids visit!! Aunty Heather does not help with the cooking, and she has the nerve to tell us before she visits what she would like for dinner!!
I would really love to give her a piece of my mind, as a matter of fact I feel like slapping her!! But I just keep my mouth shut, because of my wife. But my wife tries to tolerate her, of late my wife has been getting annoyed!! What should we do with Aunty Heather?? Can we kill her and bury her in the backyard?
Hi dear…
I’m agree with you. There’s always people like that. Make us can’t tolerate with the situations sometimes. But, as for me, I found some difficulties when facing this type of person. I rather kept my lips seal if the person is closed with me, but, I’ll try ignore his/her invitation after that.
Huh~Like anyone want to be in their trap after know their behaviors are like that.
…but, I always hope that they have strong reasons for it~
Go AA(dutch) la. That’s the best. you pay for what you eat. In my group of friends we go by turns but we are considerate that those not working will be skipped till he gets a work(winks) and those who doesn’t get paid well we eat at those cheaper places lo.
well lucky all of my friends are nice… like the previous trip when we travelled to china, three of us took turn to pay for every meal =) though there are different between breakfast lunch and dinner, we dont really care about it, as long as we are happy… probably we are good friends, otherwise other will complain why he pay for dinner while other pay for lunch/breakfast =)
i seldom had meal with friends outside but i often cooked and asked my friends come over for the dishes i made =p really miss the yrs in japan
Now Jie know y I’m broke lawl…Over da fang =X
i dont know whether i could be labelled as freeloader or not because most of the times my friends would buy me, may be they think they are richer than i am (in fact they are) but i will make sure that i do foot the bills periodically that how we keep the friendship going.
When during our drinking session, it is the norm for me to make a declaration before the start of the session, i would say something like “tonite i will only spend RM 80.00)
i agree with your dad,what goes around comes around……
Aiyo… there are many lidat out there… in my earlier years.. use to be the “paymaster” to all these ingrates… :(.
Today, I try to study the person first… if he/ she continues to leech.. off load la..
This reminds me of a guy that we used to hang out with for drinking sessions. He always disappear whenever the bill is about to arrive. After realizing this, one of our friends actually waited for him to pay for the next bill. You should have seen his face. AWKWARD! He made a big fuss saying he ain’t got enough cash. Didn’t see him much after that.
Me and my gfs always fight to pay the bills. If it’s too pricey we’ll agree to AA. If one of us is jobless or in a tight situation we would treat them. I guess the best is keep your best friends and lose the freeloaders and leeches. Who needs them anyway.
And those that spent more than they should? Don’t wear a hat that is bigger than their head!
I almost always pay . IN fact, i will be a good place that freeloaders hang out with. haha… at least for me that is how i show love to others who can’t afford a simple meal or ticket.
My only expecation is that if someone gets a blessing from me, they should pass it on.
cleff, wasssupppp????? how things with u babe? i will b able to access u for at least awhile now that i m in doha, qatar. and a belated happy nude year 2 u. also, juz in case, happy chinese new year too!!!!
freeloading pisses me off when the other party explicitly ask for it. i will never entertain. i do it from my own free will and its my own perogative. freeloading happens a lot amongst the female gender which pisses me more! lol.
Ha Ha, there are lots of freeloaders around that are rich. Maybe that is why they are rich, however they cannot carry all their money with them to their coffin!
Just don’t call them out for makan…… I always believe in each one take turns to settle the bill, unless you are short of money or other people invites you to an expensive meal (which you are not prepared to pay) and you know that other party is going to settle it and , vice-versa.
Zara, cannot tahan, right? It’s okay if we treat people once in a while, but if each time we go out oso we pay, den we really have to avoid that person oredi. 🙁 It’s okay if it’s just a normal friend or colleague, but if it’s a relative who freeload and we cannot tahan, things will get worst, can actually severe family ties.
Kellaw, I always love AA… I pay just for what I eat, and not for what other’s eat. But unfortunately, there’s always an asshole who tend to leave the table early and let others settle his bills.
FuFu… wow! you can cook… lol… maybe sometimes you should cook and put up the food on your blog and share with us. I never see your cooking before.
Seng… gogo la you…. belanja people summore… once in a while, okay la… if everday, can really pok wan!
Eugene, it’s okay if you pay every now and then. I realized that these kind of things can really ruin friendship and sometimes marriage as well. If a husband is not so well to do and he keep pay for people during his lunch, dinner or supper session, the wife will surely be upset… especially when family expenses are shared between the husband and wife. What I really dun get is the fact that some men are so stingy to spend on his own family, but when they go out with friends or colleague, they are very generous with their treats, even though they can’t really afford it.
Kevin… I also liddat… pay for people most of the time, but these days, I’m really getting tired of it, cuz sometimes, they make it look like that it’s MY OBLIGATION TO PAY FOR THEM. So pissed off sometimes!
Tera…you’re not alone in that. I kno a few assholes who takes off before the bills came. Pissed me off to no end. They have so many tricks up their sleeves-just so that they do not need to pay and you have to settle the bills for them instead. Personally, I dun really like people to pay for me…even when I was still dating my husband, I paid for every single thing that I buy or ordered. I dun like the idea of a woman being dependent on men’s money. Kill my ego indefinitely. LOL. (fine, call me a feminist… :-P) I have a funny feeling that’s why my husband hardly buy me anything, V-day, bday, anniversaries included, cuz he probably got used to me buying everything for myself in the first place… 🙁
Amoker… for me, it’s okay to pay for people every now and then… but I hate it when they take advantage on us… 🙁
ktx… whoa…. so far, in Qatar… lol…Happy belated new year and happy CNY to you too… lol… I’m doing so-so here… trying to adapt with life that’s demanding most of my time and energy. 🙁 I sense a very hectic year ahead. LOL… on freeloading… I also treat people on my freewill… most of the time, actually…but kinda get fed up when people carpool in your car to drive quite a distance never pay for petrol or even have the courtesy to pay the toll…what’s worst, they even let you pay the bill… gets on my nerves all the time.
Pete, that’s y la… those freeloaders claim they are ‘poor’ and stuff… but when you see their car, their house, their watches…. wasehhhhh, all branded and never outdated… we are actually poorer than them! Kanasai, really….
Chris…they call us for makan instead… lmao… really kanasai, and even though u dun wanna go out, they will press you til you paiseh and go out to makan with them… really kacau wan…