La mujer en espejo

No… this won’t be in Spanish nor will I be talking about a telenovella of the same name.

I am 26. Officially 26 today, and it amazed me on how different I am today from the yesteryears. How I have changed, and I see the world in different lights too. I never failed to feel amaze each time I look into the mirror… how I have grown, how different I look, and how strange and unrecognizable I am to myself.

I was that little girl. A little girl who had many dreams and wanted many things in her life.

That girl in the picture was 3. And yet, she knew what she wanted, and never failed to get whatever she wants.

But she didn’t get everything that she wanted.

She wanted:

1) She wanted to be a doctor, but she became a reporter instead. And later in life, she decided that freelancing and being a writer is more fulfilling. She wanted to save lives, but all she could do now is just try to touch people’s heart with her words, in hopes, it saves lives.

2) She wanted to get married on her 26th birthday (that’s today) but she took many wrong turns, and instead of getting married on her 26th birthday, she gets to laze around on her 26th birthday, getting her tummy filled with yummy food instead of worrying how she’d look like in her wedding dress and pray that her wedding would be perfect.

3) She was fair and was afraid of sunlight and wanted to only stay at home with her mummy and daddy, and refused to go out of the house unless with umbrella, but how brave she have become these days. She loves to frolics in the sun, and gets herself tan while swimming.

4) She wanted to marry a doctor. She likes men with stethoscope around their necks, and wears specs. She likes people who saves lives, decent and highly intelligent, just like her daddy, but she ended up with someone who is not a doctor instead and have a perfect vision and does not need to wear specs.

5) She wanted a daughter, who looks just like like her, and as willful as her when she was a little girl, but that is not going to happen anytime soon.

6) She wanted to be able to dance with her grandfather on every single birthdays of her life, but she can never dance with her grandfather again. Her grandfather is so far away, and he couldn’t dance anymore these days. He claimed he’s too old for dancing.

7) She wanted to travel the world. But she got stuck at her desk writing about it instead.

8) She wanted to have a child whom she could talk to, but she found children very hard to relate to. Sometimes, reasoning does not work.

9) She wanted to be smart, but in many ways, she grew up to be rather foolish.

10) She wanted a quiet, peaceful life free of danger, but thank God she didn’t get that, because if she did, she would be such a bore!

Every time… every time, I looked into the mirror and the reflection looks back at me, I feel strange and different. Life did not turn out the way I wanted. It is not always kind to me, but my life is exciting nevertheless. God blessed me with many things in life that I did not expect to be blessed with. I have wonderful friends and a family with me. What else could I asked for? I guess I can happily say… nothing. I want nothing else.

Cleffairy: Okay I lied. I’ll be honest. I wanna be rich so that I can go on a cruise around the world or something and sip some exotic juice as I lay under the sun!

ps: Thank you, God, for guiding me and being there for me for 26 years. I would have been lost without you.


  1. Beii says:

    I also wanted to married at 26 >< but now also got one baby boy liow!hahaha! sounds like you are still having a lovely life although you didn't get somethings you wanted! Not too late to go for it also, all the best!

    • Cleffairy says:

      Sobs… yalorr… 26 seems to be an ideal age to get married leh… but haizz… wud to do… love ruined our plans. Hahahahaha… yes… I didn’t get everything i wanted, but my life is really exciting. Well, at least to me it is. πŸ˜›

  2. suituapui says:

    You don’t have a daughter but you have a son who looks just like you. Ooooo…what big eyes you have!!! LOL!!! We grow up full of dreams…some come true, many don’t…but we make the best of whatever we may have and at the end of it all, we can look back and sigh, we may not have it all…but it has been good. I think I can do that…

    • Cleffairy says:

      Hahaha… people say he have my eyes… which is true, i guess. LOL.. big eyes… Nevermind… I have a boy… as long as I have one… wait a few more years… i can have a DIL gua… den a cucu… enuff la. LOL… i dun ask much wan. LOL.

      Yes… like you, I dun have it all… but there’s nothing I want to change in my life if I can turn back time. Maybe I have… I always wanted to learn how to play piano… and violin… i didn’t get to learn. LOL… mebbe just that! Hahahahaha…

  3. Gratitude says:

    Many more wonderful returns of the day. More often than not, Life doesn’t go the way we want, but i’m sure we’ll still be able to live with much viguor if only we allow our thoughts and actions to be the instruments of love and hope.

    I wish you well. ^_^

    • Cleffairy says:

      Hahahaha… amen to that. πŸ˜€ Well… I think, that’s what makes life interesting, isn’t it? Life don’t always go as planned. If they do… our life would be too predictable and boring, don’t you think?

  4. Gratitude says:

    Many more wonderful returns of the day. More often than not, Life doesnÒ€ℒt go the way we want, but iÒ€ℒm sure weÒ€ℒll still be able to live with much vigour if only we allow our thoughts and actions to be the instruments of love and hope.

    I wish you well. ^_^

  5. Christopher says:

    Ok ok, I give up calling u jie now. Lol you so darn young and there’s lots of challenges for you to face, thus life will sure be exciting for ya until you reached 40.
    Btw, u r cute as a little girl! This must be a babe! πŸ˜€

    • Cleffairy says:

      By the time I’m 40… I can be a hot grandma! Woohooooo~ Syok anot?

      Ahahahaha… i was really an irresistible child… everybody in the family loves me… so sweet and docile…get spoiled rotten, especially by elder males in the family… but dono why grow up to be so fierce! Must be the ‘change of climate’ kot?

  6. MRC says:

    Your birthday?? – Happy birthday – hey indeed a pretty girl & hello still young lah at 26 – btw u r a tikus horoscope as well – wishing u blissful marriage & life & many dreams to come true πŸ˜€

  7. goldflower86 says:

    dear, happy birthday. actually wanted to wish you yesterday but no internet. hahaha. n today i am in library online. happy belated birthday. GOD doesnt give what you ask, but give u what u needed to be the person HE wan u to be. hehe.
    p/s: that girl in the picture soooo cuteeee… sure u r now a beautiful lady. hehee

    • Cleffairy says:

      Hahahah… duzzin matter, it is the thoughts that counts… thank you very much for your greetings… πŸ˜€

      Cute? Pretty? Now I think I am pretty lethal and deadly! Hahahahah!

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