It’s teatime a.k.a gossip time in the office, and I found myself engaging in a very funny conversation with one of my colleague yesterday. She’s just married, and is actually looking forward to a few years of honeymooning marriage with her husband, but God seems to plan otherwise. I was drinking tea as she approached me with a flushed face, looking slightly pissed at something, and so I smiled at her as she sat down on the chair in front of my table and asked her what happened. The office was kinda deserted at that moment because the rest is doing fieldwork, leaving only a few of us in the office. Hence, leg shaking break takes place and gossip as well as empty chit chats stinks the air.
Pardon the language in this retelling of the conversation. Any kids who accidentally stumbled upon this article, kindly navigate away or read at your own risk.
Me: Wassup? Why you look as if you want to beat a crap out of someone? That bitch is asking for those articles again?
Ling Shan: Humph…you ask me wassup? I’m pissed.
Me: I know la, you’re pissed, it’s written on your face, duh. So, wassup?
Ling Shan: It’s not safe la! I’m so pissed la, woman!
Me: What’s not safe? The cleaner left the toilet slippery again?
Ling Shan: Playsafe lorr, it’s not safe.
Me: What playsafe?
Ling Shan: The condom la, woman, it’s not safe…God, Playsafe also you dunno what it is?
Me: Ohh, the condom. Say la condom, how I know you’re talking about condom. Geez!
Ling Shan: You’re so blur sotong lah, kawan. That condom brand so famous also you dunno!
Me: How I know, I thought Durex more famous what. I always see Durex only…Watson there always have sale on Durex, so cheap, and got many type summore…ribbed la, tingling la, featherlite la… got some can vibrate and need battery to operate summore…
Ling Shan: No la, Playsafe can easily get from 7-Eleven. I never use Durex, too lazy to visit Watson.
Me: Okay, what about Playsafe not being safe then.
Ling Shan then took something from her pocket, apparently a white coloured stick with blue lines on it. Apparently, it’s a pregnancy tester. I took it from her as I examined the little stick and choked on my tea as I tried to come out with intelligible words. The stick has two clear blue lines on it, which can only mean one thing…
Me: OH MY GOD! SHAN, YOU’RE PREGNANT!
Ling Shan: Oi! Shhhh…you want the whole world to know issit? Yalah, I’m pregnant la. I’m late, so I bought this during lunch to test.
Me: Oh my god, congratulations, you’re going to have a baby!
Ling Shan: Dammit lorr, I don’t want a baby yet… not so fast, I still want to enjoy with my husband…but what to do, that Playsafe condom broke…stupid bloody condom.
Me: Huh? That playsafe condom broke? Oh my god, Shan… your husband so…power, like Hulk! Condom also can break!
Ling Shan: Shaddup you! Must be the condom have no quality control. Or defect. Bloody hell, now I’m going to be a mom!
Me: Good la, when are you telling him? I know he’s dying for a baby.
Ling Shan: Humph! I called him when I found out, he’s bringing me to see a doctor tonight, just to confirm. That feller must be hitting the wall right now, he always begged me for one, now he gets one. It’s not fair la…it’s still early.
Me: Well, at least you can look forward to one thing…
Ling Shan: What? Changing a brat’s diapers with full of stinking poop or wailings at night?
Me: Of course not! UNPROTECTED wild sex during the rest of pregnancy. That will be more fun, isn’t it?
Ling Shan: Woman!
Me: Yes?
Ling Shan: You’re incorrigible!
And that’s all about it. Lesson we can learn from this conversation? If you don’t want to get your wife pregnant, use Durex. Durex is known to be more ‘durable’. But if you want to trick your wife to get pregnant for you, use Playsafe.
Next time, use Durex...
Guys, take a look at the Durex condoms up there, it’s so colourful, so cute…I wonder if they can glow in the dark too. That would be kinky, wouldn’t it? Curious about their products? Check out their site…
Below is Durex Easy On Commercial…It’s easy to put on so there’s no reason for you guys not to use a condom during sexual intercourse.
😛
Cleffairy: Practice safe sex and family planning, people. Use the condom correctly so that you and your partner will be protected. Use a condom each and every time should the need for it arise, unless you’re trying for a baby, of course. And lastly, Shan Shan, congratulations on your pregnancy. You and your family will be in my prayers. I know you’re thrilled about the baby too, though it’s unplanned. We’ll shop for baby’s stuff next time, okay?
😀
Jie, a lot ppl don like use condom wan, no feel. the video is advertisement meh?at first i tot u post porn here…kakaka.jie, ur bday nex wik, how u celebrate?gt go out ma?
Gee I din noe that 7-11 do not carry Durex… :). I use calendar… :). Need to save money ma…
Mei…that’s why so many people get involved in unplanned or axe-see-dent lorr…never use condom ma. That vid is advertisement, but it’s banned. My bday? Dunno yet. Your jiefu busy like shyt, like kena diarrhea, dono wether will celebrate or not. Maybe jie take leave, sleep and rot only lah! Every year oso same wud, ntg special. 🙁
Kevin…I think 7-11 have Durex, but I din notice any Durex in 7-11 also. My colleague is right, Playsafe can easily be obtained in 7-11…but I’m not sure if they have Durex or not. Maybe I should make a trip to 7-11 and see if they have Durex. LOL. Aiya, use calendar… where got safe la. Wait you get one more kid den you know. A lot of men use ‘wan to save money’ as a reason not to use condom, but ciggs and yumcha nonid to save la, hor? Save around Rm20 for 12 pieces of condom is better than spending at least Rm2k for delivery if you’re not planning for another baby.
Change the name to Playleak!
One more.. well.. 3 aint that bad… At least I get to be above replacement policy.. 🙂
LMAO…Playleak…my colleague told me that that thing bursts! Pecah…!Walao… no wonder she get pregnant. Actually the conversation got more, but edited liao, so that it won’t be so porn-ish. We were whispering and giggling like schoolgirls that day. The best part is, when Ms. Bitch in Heat joins our conversation, my colleague shoot her summore, telling her to use condom each time she need it. Haha.
Kevin…hmm…are you in some ways want a daughter? LOL…
Ask her to see this Youtube video. LOL
Must advise your fren, married life cannot copy blue film action lah! No wonder the condom burst!
hahah..funny lar the conversation hahhah! u r funny lar, ur fren so troubled ady u still made fun or her, heheh!
hahaha……that was what happened to my fren. but that’s a different story….well my fren, lets call him mr x, loves to visit the brothels in kuantan (he’s married btw). yeah, i know…he’s an asshole. but anyways, we went to a local thai disco and we were approached by several thai gurls (we didnt know that they were prostitutes), my fren was all fired up and like always, asked for a price. and of course they obliged. after several rounds of nego, my fren secured the deal (….sounds like legitimate biz rite…). it was about 1am. so of course he cant get durex but settled to buy playsafe at 7-e. me, a goodie boy went back home feeling sick (damn that guy, spoilt my day). so, he and the pros drove to a nearby hotel to do it lor…..later at about 3.30am, he called me. sounded scared stiff. and you guessed it, playsafe is unsafe. the pros was also scared and decided not to continue. she oso takut kena aids (sigh, the things people do for satisfaction. go and jerk yourself lar…..). after this incident, he stopped visiting “them” and checked for hiv, nasib baik negative. ive stopped calling him since, but i guess he’s back in his ol shoes. some people never learn……
as for your fren clef, she may be pissed now. but after the baby’s born, she may change. but pls ask her not to curse the baby, theyre innocent. they can feel what you are feeling, and someday when they grow up, they will feel neglected. as for me, im planning a family soon. right after rach is up and running again…hahaha. cheers….
since her hubbie wants a baby…maybe it’s not Playsafe’s fault…there might be possibility that her desperate hubbie “accidentally” punch holes before usage..-____-
i havent heard of playsafe but i thought Durex is available in 7-11 too right…
baby is so adorable can…since she already might be expecting one, why not?!?
i mean i would prefer to have kids at a young age…
p/s: gambate calvin….hope u get a cute chubby healthy baby so that we can see baby in ur blog
Is it Ling Shan or Mei Shan? Did you just slip off the real identity? heheh
It was a funny conversation though.
Anyway, just use the popular brands la. Or use double protection.
Hehe.. I dont mind a daughter to tote… but am a bit apprehensive to go for another… 😉
Pete…LOL…some newly married couple are very…how to say ‘ganas’. Aiya, new thing ma, what also wan to copy and try. Lmao…shiet, my friend know my blog. Wait she see this, I die. LOL. 😛
LZ, hi there, thank you for dropping by and commenting in my blog. Haha…do I sound so bad? Actually my friend is a very cheerful person, that’s why can joke around with her like that. I even told her I wanna blog about it and she said, go ahead, as long as I dun put her real name here. Haha.
Calvin…I hope Rachel recover soon. She’s a poor thing. Aiya, your friend is an asshole la, find pros summore. And who ask him find Playsafe, I think Playsafe have no quality control, I heard a lot of people complain that Playsafe is not safe. Always ‘pecah’, so it’s better if you go for a more trustworthy brand, Durex or wud. LOL.
Rose…I doubt it’s her hubby who use needle to make it break before using it, cuz I heard a lot of case where Playsafe broke…but this one in particular came out with good result. My friend was just pissed at Playsafe only…not the baby. She was saying that it’s a good thing that she’s married. LOL…she’s actually quite happy with the baby, and been bragging about it almost non-stop, making plans and all. Darn… I’m having a funny feeling that she will drag me to go and shop for baby’s stuff as soon as the first ultrasound scan picture is out. LOL. Anyway, some 7-11 don’t have Durex, i think, but they sell Playsafe and Just Shoot a lot.
Amoker… haha…actually, her real name have MS initial, you guessed it right. I was sleepy when I wrote the article, so got ‘accident’ lorr. 🙁
Kevin, a daughter would be nice to your all boys team, wouldn’t it? Whahaha…if got accident, den never mind la, you can have a daughter to spoil rotten. 😛
Hah, u habis lah! Ur fren see so many comments sure pengsan! Very soon she will be craving for certain food. Then can visit my blog….her poor husband will have to cook. Looks like I have to publish more sour and hot recipe to cater for pregnant ladies since so many people like to use Playleak! Ha Ha!
If your fren want to shop for baby product she can go to my fren shop for very good quality imported stuff. Buy quality so can last for 10 children mah! His shop is at 39-A Jalan SS2/55. Say I introduce, can get discount!
haha…woman, you make a good safe sex ad!
Haha, jie….your comments here all funny funny wan! mebbe i wan buy playsafe and test and c.hohoho….login maple pei wo, hao ma, jie? jiefu at home or work tonite?
Pete… i am sure, very soon I’ll be her partner in crime to hunt for those food she’ll crave. My pocket mati liao. LOL. I think her husband will be in trouble if she visit your blog…confirm need to cook for her. Haaha. Yalorr, you should make some hot and sour recipes…actually not only pregnant ladies like them…I’m not pregnant also I like sour stuff. Sour stuff are very appetizing. Haha. 😛
Pamina…thank you for the compliment but that’s not an ad, just a gentle reminder for people to practice safe sex. LMAO…choose condom wisely and use correctly to get maximum protection against unwanted pregnancy and STDs. No matter how funny that article is, unwanted pregnancy among Malaysian teenagers as well as AIDS is really no laughing matter, right? I shudder to think this kind of things happened to those people who do not want the baby at all cost. 🙁
Mei, don’t play play, huh! You want to test use playsafe? Don’t play lah! Jie tell you first, if you get pregnant, jie wun help u change the diapers, you do it urself. LOL. Later jie login maple, late abit, jiefu not at home, he went and work again. Dono wud lah. Sien nia. 🙁
Hi Clef, as you know, this is not the first time I visit your blog~ It is my pleasure to have Clef adding me into your blogroll~ ^^
Thank you very much for your encouraging me and I know I am not alone to face my heart condition~ I will try to live myself a better live!
I can’t remember exactly how I found your blog. All I know is I was surfing on the net other day and I came across with your blog and I am so into your literal talent! Aiks, not knowing whether to congratulate on Shan’s pregnancy or not~ I don’t know PlaySafe is not as save as the “durable” Durex! In fact, so PlaySafe is so dangerous and being so unfair to Shan some more~ Sigh… Am I attaining PlaySafe? lol~ Ladies, MAYBE birth control pill is much more safer than those CONTRACEPTIVE SHEATH~ Wakaka~
hahahaha! whenever i use condoms, it always break like 90% of the time. hahahaha! i havent tried durex yet, maybe i should try one. hahahaha!
Hi mcky… actually, I wasn’t aware that you’ve been reading my writing*blush* until I checked my dashboard saying that you linked my link in your blog, so i went to check it out and my heart kinda melt reading your post. it’s soooo cute and pink… HELLO KITTY! OMG… it’s almost like my own interest over pokemon, Sailormoon and other childish stuff. Haha. Thank you for your compliment, I’m flattered*blush*, but…your post is very good too…gives me the feel good feeling, so keep up the good work. 😀
Hmm, about Shan, it’s safe to congratulate her, she’s actually looking forward to the baby though it’s not she and her husband been planning. She’s practically boasting about it. *roll eyes* I have a premonition that she’ll be showing me her baby’s ultrasound pic too. LOL.
About Playsafe…I wouldn’t suggest anyone to use that…I heard enough horror stories of ‘balloon bursting’ when people use Playsafe… LOL…scary. Yea, mcky… i think it’s better to use double protection…both pills and condoms…better safe than sorry. 😀
Goku…maybe you should stop turning into Super Saiyan when you use condoms…i don’t think they are meant for Super Saiyans! Go and try more durable condoms, or try to use it ‘correctly’ to get maximum protection. 😛
hahahahahahaha!
i checked mcky’s blogsite. i saw her pic. shes sooo cute!
clef…
that’s why…this is a good safe sex ad!
LOL… pamina…we must playsafe, but cannot use playsafe…this world is so weird! 😛
I dont fine the problem you have le. Playsafe is the first condom I used until now. Even I studied in London. I used the same brand. Its carry MS mark here. Kitemark in London. Anyway I will try harder see its break or not…..