A lot of things happened to me and my family during the past one week, and therefore, that explains my MIA status. I will tell the tale of my disappearance from blogosphere when I finally have the time to even breathe, and for those who happened to know what happened to me, I sincerely extend my gratitude for your moral support. It means a lot to me.
Since my time is restricted at the moment, and I happened to come across an article in The Star that I have so much to say about, but couldn’t find time to write a long winded comment on it, I’ll just point out a few things that I feel that everyone should know before they condemn others on their course of action.
This is the said article:
Ministers lash out at children who abandon their aged parents
All I have to say is, one should not immediately point their fingers to the children for abandoning their aged parents. You’re just looking at one point of view if you condemned the children without listening to both parties on what had happened.
When aged parents are abandoned, it is always the children who gets the blame. The parents gets the sympathies. It always worked that way, and if you ask me to comment on this issue one year ago, I would also be in absolute agreement that the children are wrong in doing so.
But a lot of things happened to me lately, and I happened to experience it first hand that the elders are EXTREMELY hard to please, especially some bimbo in laws. The typical ‘monster in law’Â just care for their own child and their grandchildren, and not their son or daughter in law. They seems to think that the purpose of daughter in law is to be a slave to their son and their grandchildren alike.
No matter what you do, you will always be in the wrong. So now, I can’t completely blame those ‘children’ for abandoning their parents…because to be honest, I feel like doing the exact same thing too. I am just human, after all. I am human enough to not wanting to suffer people’s mouth and unacceptable behaviour.
Respect comes both ways, and it does not come easy when the young are expected to bow to the elders all the time. This is no longer the Old Chinese Dynasty. Things does not work that way anymore. Younger generation too needs some respect.
I am human enough to admit that sometimes, in laws are simply unbearable. I just cannot see eye to eye with my MIL. I feel like doing exactly just that- stay away from her. Either that, or finding myself wishing that I could put a pair of stinking shoes in her mouth. Whatever it is, I just want to stay clear of her way.
Sometimes you just cannot comprehend what is going on in the elders brain. They are just hard to please. I may not like my son or daughter in law in the future, but, frankly speaking, I would not want to impose them or trouble them in my golden years. I would rather live in an old folks home than to nag the kids all the time and finding faults in them. I’d rather have peace.
Bottomline is, while I think it is cruel to abandon your parents or your in laws somewhere, I will not judge or condemn the people who took that course of action. It is unfair just to listen to the parent’s side. Children have their own difficulties too.
Cleffairy: Don’t expect me not to relataliate while others are playing dirty.
Sorry to hear that Cleff. Hope everything turns ok for you soon!
Pete, did Calvin told you what happened? *sigh* It is not easy for me or my family. So much problems. But we’re slowly settling down…settling down a pace of an injured snail. LOL…hope all is well wif u and family. I’ll be back online soon, hopefully. There’s so many things to do, and so little time.
your post prompted me to write about this… this morning i attended my ex-colleague’s mum’s wake.. my colleague is her only son, his wife is a home maker, and his mum died in a home. As typical humans, one will wonder, why can’t he take care of his own mum, he is now retired and both husband and wife are at home. I was thinking about this too but i dare not judge nor in any positon to give any critics. As u said, we don’t know what had transpired in the family… we only see from the surface…
I am also married, though my husband is not here anymore, my FIL still comes to my house daily without fail. Those days he used to stay in my house until i cannot “tolerate” anymore but now thank God, i have my own privacy in the evenings even if not in the day… i cannot ask more than that…
This morning’s paper, the lashing out is just a farce.. i don’t even want to read it … everything has both sides of the story…
Dear Cleffairy,
Really sorry to hear that. And don’t get down because of some Minister lashing out… he/she probably doesn’t need to take care of his own aged parents because he’s got maids and whatnots while he’s driving around in his fancy Mercedes.
I think you’re a very strong person. Hope you’ll feel better soon *hugs*
see i told you, you can always vent your frustration her in bloggershpere, i dont know exactly what happened to you, but i pray that you will be fine, even you are not fine,,,,(what nonsense am i talking about)
i know it is hard being a DIL to another MIL, but sometimes like they Let it be, let it be, let it be, let it be…
my prayers are going out for you,,,
Life seems always tough on you, isn’t it? I know you are tired. As you have said, we are just human. I would say old people will tend to think that they live longer than us, thus they know more than us and they are right most of the time. But now is new century, whether their old ways still applicable anymore is another story. And when come to they being our parents (whether own parents or in-law), i suppose nothing much that we can do. No matter what, they will always see us not doing it right. Take good care of yourself. Hope things are getting better soon. *hugs*
hope things will be okay for you *hugsssss*
about that woman, just bear with her for another few years & she’ll be gone forever *pooof*
Hi Cleff. IT HAS BEEN QUITE A WHILE.
Cheers to life.
Hopes everything alright with you and family now. Like to see you back on your feet !