Tick tock, tick tock, the clock is ticking, snickering at me, and I can hear an evil witch’s cackling in the background from a dark forest somewhere, awaiting me with a basket of poison apples in hand.
Tick tock, tick tock…the dreaded day is approaching, and I am warning you people… yes, everyone out there… don’t you dare wish me a Happy Chinese New Year, because it’s never quite a happy event for me. It’s a mere obligation to endure each year.
While I wish everyone a very happy time with their family during this blasted festive season, kindly DO NOT wish me a Happy Chinese New Year... or WHATEVER THAT IS EQUIVALENT TO IT. Or shall make you into distorted monster in my novel and blast you and your entire family to the next dimension! Yes, I mean it!
And yes, this is a threat! Don’t bother talking about how fun it can be, and don’t ask me questions either! Have your fun, and leave me to rot!
Cleffairy: O Almighty God, protect me at all times, that I may not be seized and bound. Guard me, that no gun, firearm, bullet or lead, shall touch my body; and that the evil ones shall be weak and burnt in the pit of hell. Protect me, I beseech you, O Almighty God.