Will you even realize it when I’m gone?

An author/blogger friend of mine, Zara, uploaded this picture on her Facebook a couple of hours ago as of writing this post. I got to know Zara a few years back when she’s still writing her blog in English. I was one of her regular reader, but only kept in touch with her via Facebook after she started to write in Malay language. (sorry, Zara, I’m not so good in Malay language… so I feel abit intimidated to go to your blog and comment. I feel as if I didn’t fit in. *blush*)

The stats update that goes with this picture is:

‘Satu hari nanti, dia tahu yang dia tidak lagi bersama saya walaupun saya sangat sayangkan dia :’)’ 

Literally translated, it means: One day, he will know that he is no longer with me even though I love him dearly.

While most wouldn’t really read the comment that came along with the picture and  respond on how pretty the shoe is or ask her what brand it is, I couldn’t help but think differently. I feel as if the pair of shoes without a wearer is a perfect metaphor for someone who is being taken for granted or not being appreciated, and is slowly making an effort to disappear from one’s life without being noticed.

Somehow, the picture and the description that goes with it touches my heart. Maybe I’m misreading her posting, but if she’s using the pair of shoes as a metaphor, then I think I get her.

You see, I’ve always feel that it’s people whom we love most is the one who take us for granted and is indifferent towards our feelings. They…our loved ones… be it family, spouse or close friends, more often than not expects us to be by their side always even though they take us for granted and countlessly hurt our feelings with or without intending to do so.

We… are often expected to understand, to be patient and be tolerant of them, even though they take us for granted or act indifferent towards us. They expects us to love them unconditionally even though they neglect to do the same in return.They expects us to stand by them, no matter what happens.

Some people…family, friends, relatives, spouses, loved ones expects too much. Most do not realize that we are human too, and there is a limit to all of that neglect and indifference. They did not know that one day, we will leave them too cuz we simply could not take it anymore and find someone else who deserves us or someone who actually appreciates our presence.

Sad to say this…but most did not realize that their loved ones are hurting or crying before they sleep because they feel that they are no longer important in one’s life or even worthy of that random phone calls during the day or a simple gesture of affection.

Sad to say, that alot of people thinks that their other half and those whom they cared about will always be there for them when the truth is not that. Not everyone will tolerate that. Not everyone have the courage to stay, or let their hearts to be crushed countlessly. Not everyone is strong enough to withstand emotional abuse.

Sad to say…not many will realize that some of us will choose to stop hurting and walk away to simply find someone who actually appreciates our presence and makes us feel loved, needed and worthy of one’s unconditional affection.

Yes…some of us… will choose to walk away to lick the wound and find someone who actually deserves us.

This is going to sound like some telco’s advertisement tagline, but do you wait to make that call? Or do you wait for a reason or a special occasion to show your loved ones that you care?

Don’t make them feel that they need a reason to call you, because they might just get fed up of getting sidelined and being put aside. They might get fed up of you choosing your work over them. They might get fed up of you choosing to be with others than them. And they might just get fed up with everything and just…quit hoping for you to actually notice and appreciates their presence in your life.

Don’t wait til it’s too late. Show them that you still care, still love them and is still worthy of your affection. You may never know when they decided that they could no longer take it and just walk away so that they can spare themselves from crying themselves to bed because they’re just number two, or three in your life.


Cleffairy: Are you the sort of person who will realize that someone’s is actually gone from your life when you see a pair of shoes without a wearer beside you?

Zara is a co-author in Terfaktab, and she’ll be attending the launching of Rabak, Nakal dan Sang Bohemian Bhg 1 in Annexe Gallery, Central Market this coming 24th March 2012, 5-6pm. If you’re interested, head over to her blog for more information.

Note: Picture is not mine.It belongs to Zara.


  1. Lord Zara says:

    Hi Cleff dearie!

    I guess U are the one (the only one) who might get the real meaning of the words. Basically I wrote that last night, because I pissed of with someone, yeah, yah, let’s admit, to a special one. I won’t tell him directly, I just need to let go my emotions, so, that’s just suddenly came up.


    We do appreciate people, but will they do the same?
    Usually, like we always encountered, they’re not. :'(

    By the way dear, I’m going to that event on behalf of my anthology with FIXI – entitled : KOPI. 🙂 Hope gonna see U there!

    MUch love.

    • Cleffairy says:

      *hugs* I was guessing that you were hinting at your special someone… and the shoes, along with the comment made me feel… you know… feel abit sad, cuz I think, I can relate to what you’re feeling. I too, often feel that people, especially our loved ones takes us for granted…and sometimes, it’s really tiring that you’re the only one trying to work on improving a relationship when your other hald is nonchalant and indifferent about it as if it’s not important at all.

      Yes, yes, I’ve marked my calender and mentioned it to my hubby, so hopefully, God willing, I will meet you there at the event. 😀 I’ll bring one of my book for you too. *grinz* and yu can tell me if you like my novel or not. Hehehehehe… *muka tak malu*

    • Cleffairy says:

      Most men (and some women too) do that…after quite some time in their marriage as they feel quite secure and thinks that their spouse will always be by their side regardless they show any appreciation or aknowledgement towards their presense or not. It is indeed a very sad thing, cuz it is not necessarily true that they will always be there by your side.

    • Cleffairy says:

      Belum… ada lagi a few…mau makan dengan ur marmalde soon… kekekeke…tapi mee daddy dah hilang semua. It goes *POOF*… macam itu David Copperfield’s magic show.

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