World peace?

What do I want?

I want world peace. Yeah, right. That’s a blatant lie to your face. I don’t want world peace. Couldn’t care if the world wanna self destruct, though the world houses me. I believe if God says die, then you die. You got nothing to say about it, and there’s nothing you can do to stop it.

So if the world is going to blow up right now, I won’t feel anything about it. In fact, I would feel good. When my brain is all blown up to gooey, oozing pieces, then I won’t have to think so much about nasty people who doesn’t appreciate me and wants to confine me in order to take liberty with me.

If the world blow up, then I don’t have to think about all of these jackass, no? God, why the hell G.W. Bush Jr. is already retired when I needed him to press the damn button? And where the hell is payday loans when you need them?

Distasteful jokes aside. What I want right now, really? Good question. In my little small world, nobody asked me what I want anymore. All they know is what they want and demand it from me.

An old friend whom had been friends with me since God knows when asked me on Facebook asking what I want right this moment.

This is what I want right this moment. I want money. So that I can spend to my heart content and make me feel better. But nobody would give me money when I want or need them except for my dad when he comes to visit me once in a while.

But these days, I don’t feel like taking his money to spend as much as he insist to spoil me, cuz I don’t feel worthy of it. I feel like a bad daughter and have disappoint him all these while, and yet he still accept me for who I am and loves me unconditionally, unlike other people in my life. Full of expectation towards me and and expects me to wait on them 24/7.

Don’t I just want to to tell them to go to hell? I’m not a robot, you know? I feel sick once in a while, I feel tired every now and then, and I definitely feel fed up with things when people goes buffoon on me.

Anyway, at the end of the way, I am so glad my dad made an effort to be there for me when I needed him the most. I can only pray that I will be able to do the same when he needed me most. My dad asked me if I needed a vacation yesterday, and I told him yes. He gave me a raincheck. Wonder when should I take it. Next week? Next month? I can’t wait for him to bring me to the beach and be me again.

Cleffairy: Some people will love you unconditionally, but some others will place conditions on ‘love’, but truthfully, when you put conditions on it, that’s not love.


  1. Cynthia says:

    I don’t know why I can’t post my using Open ID, and I always forgot to ‘untick’ the box! Aarrrggghhh…

    Anyway, put that aside.. I agree with Kat that you should go for a holiday.. have a break.. and go to a place that you feel best and rest.. 😀

  2. suituapui says:

    I want to be independent, no matter how hard…how I would need to scrimp and save…and work extra. I want to do it all by myself.

    My father would want to chip in to lend a hand, push his way through to pick up the tab for this and that…and insist that I take and in that situation, I will. Well, he’s rich – I’m not…but still I would not ask no matter how difficult times may be. I prefer to do it…on my own.

    • Cleffairy says:

      I used to want independence. But I can’t get it too, no matter how hard I tried, and therefore, I gave up. Money is an easier option…slightly obtainable; provided if I work hard for it, that is.

      My dad always offer to help, but I never wanted this sort of help. 🙁

  3. ericlee says:

    father and daughter bonding? PULAU PERHENTIAN!!!! definitely awesome…as u can see from my blog and facebook..MUST GO for a beach lover like urself…XD

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