Stinking poop, through and through…

Okay, what the heck am I raving now? Well, I don’t know. Honestly, I don’t. I just feel like putting that goddamn title and be done with it. Cuz I feel like saying it. Why do I feel like I’m saying it? Well, beats me, I have no idea. I’m just being a silly woman, ruled by her hormone again.

Don’t feel so shocked with my statement. If you’ve known me for quite some time now, you’d probably know that this is not exactly newsflash. I’m a certified lunatic in my own rights.

Tomorrow, Sunday is mother’s day. I’m sure most of you ladies are aware of that. I daresay most of you’ll be  celebrating with your mother, wife, daughter, sister…any female who is a mother.

Then again maybe there’s some of you who are like me, such occasion can be likened to no occasion at all simply because it made no difference to you as nobody is greeting you or nobody is giving you any presents to commemorate the day because they think mother’s day is everyday and the official mother’s day is way too commercialized.

I used to be upset when my husband gave me nothing or never bothered to greet me on special occasions such as mother’s day, birthdays or even anniversaries. But I guess, after 8 going on 9 years, I think I’m kinda immune. The brain is somewhat re-programmed by now. No greetings? No tokens of love or appreciation? No problem. Just adopt a wonderful solution to all my bloody misery, greet myself, get myself pressie, thank myself for all the things I’ve done and give myself a pat on the back for still being alive. Nods. Does this sound sensible to you? Maybe not. But it’s quite a diplomatic solution to me. Better than sulking or feeling miserable, don’t you think?

Lemme see…mother’s day is just another day to me this year and I daresay will not change til the day I crawl to my grave, but I am determined to commemorate it this year. And how will I do that? Here’s how:

  • Bought myself a spa voucher that will enable me to enjoy some relaxing massage and a jacuzzi session for 2. No. I’m not bringing my husband with me because it’s only for ladies. I’ve hinted that I wanted it on Facebook earlier on. But since he probably missed it, I bought it myself. I’m very smart, aren’t I? Better to depend on myself than others. When I want something, I get it myself. That’s the way to go! 😀 But I’m not going to bring my mother with me too cuz she’s not in town, unfortunately. Couldn’t bring my paternal grandma with me either cuz she’s already dead. No to maternal grandma as well, cuz she’s on the other side of the world. Definitely not my MIL cuz we don’t along well. I’m dragging my ‘big sister’ with me to accompany me to the ‘ME’ session. It’s going to be so cool, don’t you think? Just me and big sister.
  • Ordered a proof copy of my latest work in progress- Time Tempest. Yeah… can’t help it. The heroes in my novels are all yummylicious and appreciative. Maybe when the proof arrived I could sleep with the book and dream about the characters I’ve created. (Okay, forget I actually wrote that, I’m abit loose on the head)
  • Bought myself a heart-shaped locket. You know, the kind that you can open up and put tiny pictures in it? Well, I’ve been eyeing on it for quite some time now. It’s nothing expensive and it’s rather childish, but I happen to like it and since nobody bought it for me, I bought it myself. But I’m not gonna put any pictures inside. I’m gonna leave it empty. 😀
  • Ditch the man and the brat and go for a haircut whenever I’m free next week. The hair is getting unruly.
  • And last but not least, I’ll be doing myself a huge favour and make appointment with the gyne. For what, you ask me? Infertility treatment? Hell no. Gonna get myself some goddamn advice on some highly effective form of contraceptives so that there will be no more brats on the way to get on my nerves and cut my life short. You see, I’ve decided that I had enough, and it makes more sense for me to wait for my brat to have a kid of his own instead of getting another one for myself to dote on. It won’t be long. Just 10-15 more years. Wonderful, isn’t it? Less one thing to worry about every goddamn month. Truthfully, I’d be awfully tempted for a second child if the first one is not such a nightmare. But since he is a nightmare, I don’t think I want to risk another nightmare. Besides, I don’t think I can afford it and I’m convinced that I’m not cut out to be a good mother. Why bother, anyway?

I guess this is it, huh? This post is also to commemorate mother’s day. So…Happy mother’s day to me, and to all ladies who are mothers. In the words of Daffy Duck, “That… that… that’s all folks,” .

The end. Until the next episode of: Cleffairy and her lunatic raving.

Cleffairy: I have come to learn that with zero expectation, there will also be no disappointment. And now… all I have to do is work on being emotionless. My life, and everyone’s life would definitely be better if I am emotionless. Hmmm… let’s see if I can do that.


    • Cleffairy says:

      LOL… He said the same thing every year… I’m not his mother, so if I wan to celebrate, I got to ask my son for it.

      But then… *dot dot dot* Valentine’s day oso tarak celebrate geh. This year he said he support government. Government banned V-day ma. And dun nid to celebrate cuz V-day is commercialized. *roll eyes* I think I dono him well enough, after all these years. All these while I tot he dun support government punya.

      But I think we never celebrate V-day because I’m not his lover. Just his wife. Hmmm…. very curious thought. And since there’s no ‘wife day’… so tarak celebrate lo. Wahhhh… so save money wan!!! Why tarak people celebrate wife day??? Tak aci.

      So cham liddat. I like flowers. Used to plant them like nobody’s business. They calm me down and make me happy. Next year, I’m gonna buy myself some roses and send it to myself since I can no longer plant them myself. 😀 Know any good online florist? I think I’m gonna ask Claire. She knows a florist, I think. Mebbe I can get a discount. Hahahahahaha!

  1. Alice Law says:

    Yeah, I’m very keen to read your book too!!(seriously)

    Wow, you are such a smart girl, yeah depend on no one but ourselves! Life and time are too short to be wasted without spicing and pampering ourselves!

    Happy Mother’s day to you too, enjoy to the fullest ya!

      • Cleffairy says:

        Alice- I am not too sure I’d survive another one of my friend reading my book. SOBSOB… Sked jorr…Yes… I have come to learn all these years… I’ve been wasting my time hoping and depending on people. Now… what I want… I must do it myself. Confirm dapat. Hahahaha!

        Kat- Please la… dun teach her to hammer me. Hammer me no use. Hammer ketam baru bagus. *HINT HINT*

  2. smallkucing says:

    eh why not do something different. I think your hubi might be immune already with your bising.

    This year Mother’s Day why not surprise him with cooking his favourite dishes and all that. He sure terkejut thought u buang tabiat. Then maybe he would feel guilty leh

    • Cleffairy says:

      Cis, malas… I did that without failed a few years back. Wud I get? Penat aje. I oso give up jor. Mau makan nice nice ah? Makan luar la…sorry I slave around liddat again. Summore not that I can cook in peace. I cook that time the budak keep climb around everywhere in the kitchen macam monyet liar, nobody jaga. Cis… tak payah. Makan luar if wan. Liddat I not tired, I wun boiling, I wun scream, and everyone happy.

  3. MRC says:

    Cleffairy: I have come to learn that with zero expectation, there will also be no disappointment. And now… all I have to do is work on being emotionless. My life, and everyone’s life would definitely be better if I am emotionless. Hmmm… let’s see if I can do that.

    That’s good & i am already one of those 😀

  4. claire says:

    Nowadays it is a norm that one child is enough.. couples can go enjoy life… live for each other.. no more washing diapers and waking up at wee hours in the morning.. gosh.. i m discouraging zuriat? sorry!

  5. Yee Ling says:

    Instead of getting suprise or pressie or wish from them, better start to find own way to pamper and love ourselves more…LOL!!

    Happy Mother’s Day!

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