Joint Responsibility

I’ve been meaning to write about this since last year, and I have no idea why I’ve been procrastinating writing this down. Perhaps, my temper did not flare enough for me to put it into words. Or perhaps, it is because only today I felt the need to express this, as I’ve seen no changes or progress in the matter that I shall soon delve in.

Frankly speaking though, it’s neither. It is actually because, all my life, I’ve always felt that I delivered my thoughts better through writing than merely speaking. People in my life simply DO NOT LISTEN, or PRETENDED not to, and usually, I have no other place to vent my anger besides places where I could write them down.

Talking to people in my life sometimes is as useless as talking to the wall. Believe me, it’s not that I did not try to communicate what’s bothering me, but they are hardheaded and sometimes do not listen to other’s advice for they think they are such smart ass when the fact is they are a true jackass. I always ended up angrier when I spoke about it because it simply do not work with the hardheaded bastards. I’ve always feel that at least, when I blog about certain matters that’s eating me alive I get a more desirable respond than confronting the matter.

So, allow me to talk about this: Joint responsibility.

No, I’m not talking about joint responsibilities between spouses in their respective household, that will have to wait until next time. This time I’d like to talk about joint responsibility between siblings in caring for elder relatives- such as an aging parent, dying relatives, etc.

You see, dear readers, I’ve always hate freeloaders. They work me up to the point that I feel that I would tear my own head apart if I could. They pissed me off to no end, because ever since I was a little girl, I was thought to walk with my chin up and with dignity and pride, and no matter what I do, I must not freeload on others. I was thought not to beg for help, even if I’m starving on the street.

For some this may not be such a good trait, cuz it often tends to make one suffer than having an easy and luxurious life. But it works for me. It makes me what I am today. It makes me stronger.

Yes, my father had taught me well. He not only taught me the ways of the world, but he also thought me to be a responsible person- where I must be responsible for myself and people around me. And as a firstborn, I was also thought to care for the younger and have compassion for the elders. So even if I don’t like it, I will still be responsible for what I am supposed to be responsible with.

Unfortunately for me, and perhaps my little family too, other people’s father and mothers did not have enough conscience to teach their children what my father had instilled into me through his wise words and actions.

They had spoiled their children rotten, and they were not thought to be responsible even for themselves, and in the end, they take the easy way out by literally going around freeloading and behaves like an irresponsible fool, even when they are already married and have children of their own. These people have a mindset that I could not bear; which is people will clear up their problems for them each time they ask for help.

These people too are the kind of people who will without a doubt forsake their aging parents when the time comes for them to take care of their aging parents. They will give many kind of excuses so that they will not need to take responsibility and be a responsible person. They prefer to pass on their responsibility to their siblings who sometimes have no choice but to take sole responsibility on their aging or sick parents just because the other one absolutely refuse to take do their part and share the responsibility of taking care of their elders.

Among lames excuses that I’ve heard countlessly before and I don’t doubt that I’ll be hearing them again are until the day that I breathe my last:

1. Mum/dad prefers you over me. So just let them stay with you.

2. I’m not financially stable yet. I may be sacked soon… or demoted… or you name it.

3. The economy is not good, I need extra cash to feed my family. Why don’t you take responsibility? Your financial seems better than mine.

4. I have more children than you, whom are going to school… bla bla bla… your brat is not going to school yet, you have less burden than me, so why don’t you take responsibility?

5. My wife/ spouse does not get along well with with the in laws. I will get into HUGE trouble if I take care of of mum/dad. You wouldn’t want me to get into a huge fight and ruin my marriage, will you?

They will give countless of excuses so that they will not be burdened with the joint responsibility of taking care of their aging parents. Taking care of their parents, or giving some sort of allowance to them is considered a gruesome task. They care for nothing but themselves and their own happiness. They gave no thoughts that their behaviour gave problems to their siblings who finds it hard to take responsibility on their aging parents all by themselves-morally and financially.

They said the aging parent in question prefers the other sibling them. But the fact is, their attitude displease everyone. Everyone gets sick of them, and even when people express displeasure towards their irresponsible attitude, they turn blind eye towards the issue and they flare their bloody tempers.

They tell people that their financially unstable and therefore, other sibling(s) who earns more should take sole responsibility on caring for their aging parents. But to me, this is just excuse. If they can afford to spoil their spouse and children with luxury and feed their brats til they become a glutton of a pig, and lavish their wives with expensive and unnecessary things or invest in countless insurance so that they could die a rich man, why can’t they contribute a penny or two as well?

They always say they have no money. Frankly speaking, I just think it’s either a lame excuse to escape the responsibility or poor personal financial management. If their other sibling who earns less than them could take on the responsibility, why can’t they? It only comes to one thing: They do not want to be responsible. THEY DO NOT WANT TO BE RESPONSIBLE! That is why!

They say they have more children, and therefore, the cost of their upbringing is higher than the other siblings. I suppose it never crossed their birdbrain that their siblings too have burdens of their own, and their action have cost problems to their sibling’s family as well.

They said, their spouse does not like their aging parents, and if they provide a roof over the  aging parent’s head, World War III will erupt. My word! I can’t believe it never crossed their mind that their siblings too will have problems with their spouse if they take on the responsibility completely on their own.

I’ve always hate these kind of people, and I can never find it in my heart to respect them, especially when they are a older than me. It disgust me to no end, no matter what excuses they give to justify their action. Never ever ask me to respect these kind of people because if you do, all you get will only be my wrath. I don’t have even a morsel of respect or admiration for such people.

My respect is not for these kind of irresponsible, selfish and obnoxious bastards. They are definitely intolerable, and if they are dead the next minute of my life, I will not mourn for them. Instead, I’ll be having a party to celebrate the fact that one more useless person in my life is gone for good. The absence of these kind of people is a relief, for they only burden others. Good riddance to bad rubbish, I must say.

Unfortunately, irresponsible and selfish people do not die easily. They just don’t get it, and they won’t disappear and I can only hope that retribution will come without fail, and in the future, they will be placed in the same predicament that they have put their parents or their siblings through. Children usually learn from example. And being irresponsible is not a good example to growing children. I hope, one day, they will feel how it is like when their children behave as irresponsible as them when they are old and senile.

Cleffairy: It disgust me that sometimes, people who are older than me are incapable of being responsible for themselves and failed to do their part in caring for their elders. Never ever ask me to give face or demand me to respect these kind of people, because they only deserve blasphemy from me. You want respect from me because I am younger than you? Earn it then!


  1. jen says:

    cleffy, i’m stucked in the exact situation as you. i’m so so so tired and sick of the family dilemmas that i sometimes really wish that i’m an orphan.

  2. claire says:

    I dont know what to say cos i also have an in-law in the house ever since i got married.. the only consolation is that he doesnt sleep over anymore….. just in for the day and till dinner.. and the rest is my own private time.. sigh.. what to do… he doesnt want to stay with his own children…
    u take care Cleffairy…

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