Do you remember?

Author’s note: This is for the one whom I love, and means a lot to me.

Do you remember?

The times where we were still young and carefree, and we danced to the song Trouble by Shampoo in front of the whole damn class to see during the year end party? It was corny, and terribly choreographed, but I still remember the laughter and the cheering when we performed the dance for everyone to see. We were wearing tights, and loose t-shirt with awfully thick make up that can put any Opera Ghost to shame. I still have the picture, and each time I looked at it, I cringed and wonder how the hell we survived that dance. I remember that time, and wished we were more sane…but then again, those are the things that I wouldn’t change for the world. That was us…we were brave, and we were carefree…

Do you remember?

The time where we were so pumped up with adrenaline, that we took part in the school sports event? We ran in the sack and raced to the finish line. You were wearing blue, while I was in red. You finished second, while I was third. We both won, and we danced our victory dance with pink coloured pom-poms, uncaring of what the rest of the world thought of us. The picture is still inside my album, and I snorted when I saw how smug our expression bear. The simplest joy of winning a sack race could give us so much pleasure then. It made me wish that sometimes, we could delight in such small victory now and learn to be contented with small victories.

Do you remember?

The times where we karaoke-ed in my house, wanting so much to go on stage for teacher’s day the next day. We sang ‘To Sir With Love’, and I had awful soar throat the next day and we failed to make appearance on the bloody stage. Each time I think of the time, I couldn’t be more thankful that we didn’t go on stage, for it would have been a complete disaster. But do you know what? Secretly, there’s a kinky part of me that wished that we did go on stage, and croak the song out and knock ourselves out. It would have been fun, even if we get booed instead of cheers from the crowd.

Do you remember?

The time when I had a crush on someone, and goes to the beach every evening, just so that I could see him play football and play along with the boys? Your mum sent you along with me, telling you to watch over me. She said “Don’t let her do hanky panky things” and you nodded vigorously. You became my… ahemm… guardian angel, and I secretly wish that you would get your butt out of my face. Now your butts are finally out of my face, but I couldn’t help but wanting you back to be my guardian angel, to protect me from the hurt and the pain, and the countless heartbreaks and disappointments that relationship tend to bring me.

Do you remember?

The time when you had awful crush on someone who is a couple years older than you. He was in the opposite class, and when he was about to leave school, I made the damn sacrifice to accompany you so that you can have his picture and his phone number. His entire class sang “Sannnn sannn yeee liiiinnggg sannn…” and I wanted to do nothing but run when ‘Panda’ caught your love interest and brought him out to you. I was blushing like mad, and told ‘Panda’ that I had chickenpox and needed to leave… but my feet wouldn’t bring me away when I saw you turn red with their teasing. Those were the moments where I feel like I wouldn’t mind if the earth open up and swallow me whole. I wished that we didn’t do such embarrassing thing, but now, thinking back, I wish I was there for you each time you needed courage to do something big in your life. I wish I was there, to nudge you and tell you to pursue what your heart tells you to do.

Do you remember, as time passes by,

You had another crush, who also dwells in the same class as your previous love interest…and I happened to be smitten with his younger brother? We were experimenting with our feelings, then, not knowing how dangerous it is to our hearts. For the first time, I felt hurt, and you were there for me, saying that the jerk was not worth it. You told me that I am beautiful, and do you know something? Each time I feel my confidence is crumbling, I will think of your words, and just remembering them made me feel that I am still beautiful.

Do you remember?

The times when I went to your house to accompany you when your parents were not there? You taught me how to play the piano. It was Ballade Pour Adeline by Richard Keladiman. It may not mean much to you, but do you know how much it meant to me? You made me feel that I could achieve anything if I put my mind to it. You made me feel that I have hidden talent and all I need to do is sharpen it and I will shine, and I am forever indebted to you for such feelings and confidence. I wish…one day…I would be able to play the song for you once again, and make you proud of me.

Do you remember?

The time when you fed me with soft bun topped with Marina Tuna spread with mayonnaise and Anchor cheese? For others, such food might be common. But to me, it was something else. It was comfort food that could warm my heart, as each time I made tuna sandwich, I would remember you and the times we had together without failed.

Do you remember?

The time when we went to Pizza Hut, and I ordered one regular pepperoni pizza, and you thought that the toppings is made out of peppers? I thought you were silly. But now, you won’t go for such food anymore, because you’re watching your weight, and sometimes, I wish that you won’t not worry to much about weight and indulge yourself once in a while.

There are many more things that I wanted to ask if you remembered…but I couldn’t ask you anymore, because the more I write, the more I wish that we could just go back to the time where we were younger, braver and more carefree. The more I think about our past when we were growing up together, the more I wish we had the courage to do whatever our hearts tell us to do and have fun to our hearts contents.

Time passes by. We are older now. We are more mindful of what we do. We fear embarrassment and pain, and therefore, we don’t really have fun anymore, but for what it’s worth, I am glad that we were so carefree and brave, as each time that I feel that I’m at loss, I will recall those time we had together, and it gives me courage to face the blasted world again.

Thank you for being my best friend, Pauline. Thank you so much for the precious memories.This is for you. Happy 26th birthday, Pau. Know this…you’re always more like a sister to me than just a best friend.


  1. suituapui says:

    Happy Birthday to your best friend Pauline… What’s stopping you? I don;t care what people think – just be myself, do what I want and be happy! People may say – so old still blogging, always hanging around with young people/kids, still wanna go karaoke… Who cares? As long as I’m happy – nothing else matters!

    • Cleffairy says:

      LOL… what’s stopping me? Aiyo, actually nothing is stopping me, but grow up d, can’t be so reckless. Aihhhh…you’re young at heart la, Cikgu… that’s why you look so happy always… so happy go lucky!

  2. CK says:

    Those were the days…I also missed so much of the younger days.This post is really remind me of my fun and happy days back then. Thanks.
    Happy Birthday to your friend, Pauline.

    • Cleffairy says:

      Sometimes, when we become adult, we tend to forget that we were once young. LOL… I’ll say thank you on her behalf. LOL… she’s busy settling down, I suppose… no time to come and check this entry yet. *GRUMBLES*

    • Cleffairy says:

      Everyone was young… lol… we tend to forget that once we’re married and have family of our own. LOL… maybe I can pester her to drop by later and let her thank all of you herself. LOL…

  3. shakira says:

    Really lovely dedication. Where is Pauline? I hope she sees this post.
    Great to have memories but better to live them everyday!
    Be happy, my dear.

    • Cleffairy says:

      Where is Pauline? LOL… she’s somewhere…lol… been chatting wif me just now… ahahaha… have yet to drop in and make appearance… LOL… (Pau of Pau, where art thou?)

  4. Pauline Phoenix says:

    Liz! Thanks so much for the post and wishes, you got me all emo! I love the way you wrote it. I guess that’s why you’re a writer.. whilst the closest I get to one of your “word sprints” is just the “sprint” part, on a treadmill πŸ˜›

    Sorry this reply is so overdue.. today’s the first time I could get online from my laptop (since that gtalk day, imagine that!) thanks to “it’s Xmas all year round with you-know-which-broadband-company” *grumbles* I’ve got a 7-day workweek spending 12+ hours at the gym everyday, plus classes for certification on Sat and Sun, the other reason why I’ve been so MIA! Yes yes, I had intentions of thanking everyone too, hehehe!

    Gosh you still have pix from that Shampoo song? I wanna see, I don’t have ’em.. show me one day, pleeeeeease.. and the gunny sack ones too! By the way, just so you know.. you DID nudge me and tell me to pursue what my heart tells me to do.. and here I am today, working in the place I love the most.. and I have you to thank for all those times you told me it only takes courage to pursue what makes me happy πŸ˜€

    Oh don’t worry.. I don’t/hardly have pizza nowadays but I’m still a crazed pepperoni and mozzarella eater.. plus remember we were supposed to organize a tuna thing? Heehee.. *grins!*

    I love ya too! =)

    @Suituapui, CK, Kathy, Shakira: Thanks so much for the wishes! πŸ™‚

    • Cleffairy says:

      Wakao! You have Xmas all year long… that’s why lah, so lambat respond. Eiiiiyerrrr! LOL…. but better late than never. Wehh, your blog die oredi issit, why never write nething wan? *sulk sulk* I tell you, you faster write about those hot hunks in your gym, confirm you can make $$$ out of your blog wan! *chuckles*

      LOL…you’re most welcome. 2nd January will always be YOUR day. Ahahaha… I make sure of that. It’s just too bad that it’s so hard to pester you to come out. Else we’d have such a good time. Just like those days. This gal… when you wanna keluar dating with me huh? It’s been years la weii! Miss you heaps!

      You cracked me up la… the closest sprint you got to my word sprint is a sprint on the threadmill… omg… i can’t believe your life revolves around the gym nowadays. you always find excuse to ponteng PJ lah last time. I would have find this thing unbelievable if I dunno you better! LOL…

      Yeah… but the picture is not wif me. It’s with my mum! OMG….that’s one of the thing that she keep to make me malu lah. LOL…and Gawd, did we look like some opera singer! LOL…

      Hey, for what it’s worth, i’m glad you choose to lead a healthy life… like me ah? i’ll probably die first becoz of cancer and whatnot. I eat all unhealthy things wan… and the closest thing I get to a sprint, is those word sprint. LMAo!

      Come kacau me…got lepak around 1U anot? Call me out!

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