I was lucky…

I was really lucky, that my parents doesn’t have any Munchausen Syndrome or Munchausen Syndrome by Proxy or, else, I would have been dead by now. They’re completely normal parents who never want any sort of attention through their sick children, and my sister and I were always in their prayers each time we got sick. They always ask God to grant us perfect health, but God saw it fit to test their patience and endurance by making me a sickly child when I was growing up.

My father, he used to tell me stories of miracles. Of a girl who was sick, but she fights off the sickness in her by using her mind to control the functions of her body-some sort of commanding mechanism to direct the body to be healthy with the help of medications. She used her brain to fights off the infections and whatnot and in no time, she would recover from her illness.

I could still remember my dad’s encouraging words each time I fell ill. He said, it’s all in the mind. He said, if you think you’re sick, then you will be sick, and if you think you’re healthy, you will feel as healthy as a horse, and I find his words were quite true. Positive thinking and the right attitude in tacking certain illness is crucial in the process of recovery or recuperation. It’s all in the head. the brain is the most powerful organ in the body. It can do many things, and all we need to do is just use it.

I had growing pains. I had asthma and my heart have a loose valve while the bronchial in my lungs is prone to infections. I have chronic bronchitis, they say, but I will be fine as long as I don’t have a fever as fever will make the immune system go weak and the bronchial will be prone to infections.

I outgrew asthma, but the heart problems and the bronchial problems remains til this very day, and on and off I would go for check up to see if there’s anything wrong with me or not.

Ever since I was I child, I was quite fascinated in the field of medicine. Studying the human body became some sort of obsession as I go in and out of the hospital most of the time for treatment.

I grew up knowing my medical rights and the medical terms. Doctors, usually will not have a problem explaining procedures and the ways of the medicines to me, as I made sure I understand the explanation given before I stepped out of the consultation room. I do those stuff without failed and I will do my homework about it too.

I was willful, and fiery, even as a child, and I never let my parents take control of what I think or do. And unlike most parents, they will not protect me from such knowledge. To them, it is best that I know my conditions and understand it well. That way, I will know the best way to live and to limit myself when it comes to sports.

I was sick, yes, but I never ask for sympathies from the people around me. Really sick people never do that. It is quite a norm that sick people would hide their illness from their peers as they never want to be treated differently. I was no different.

I wanted to be normal, and tried to live life to the fullest. I lived each day as if there’s no tomorrow, and that explains why I played football with boys or go fishing after school. I learned how to horseback riding, I go for archery and many more things. And I never let my illness control me or restrict my ambitions though I will put a little limit on myself when it comes to physical activities.

I controlled my illness instead of letting it control me, and medical terms did not disheartened  or scares me. It inspired me instead. I was inspired to be a doctor. I always think that to be a good doctor, one ought to be a patient before. By being a patient, you’d be able to understand how a human body works and how patients feel.

However, God have other plans for me. My calling is not medicine or healing, but writing instead. He saw it fit to let me be a journalist and a writer as He knew that I’m a pretty squeamish person and could not stand the sight of a dead body. Show me a dead body being postmortem and I’ll puke on the spot.

I am truly grateful to God that he blessed me with health these days, and I no longer get hospitalized as often as when I was just a little girl. In fact, besides those regular fever I had, I feel very good most of the times, and I don’t have to be dependent on medication anymore. It is a blessing indeed. The prayers must have worked, a few years late. And I would like to thank my parents, and God for that. :D,

I don’t think I could stand it anymore if I were to be asked to fast for at least 12 hours after minor/major surgical procedures in my adult years. It would have been unbearably annoying-not being able to eat for many hours. And I don’t think I could tolerate being sedated each and every time after a major surgery. I hate the feelings of being weak and prodded here and there by medical officers on duty.

Did you know that after a major surgery, they would not let you eat or drink for at least a day? They’ll put intravenous drip (IV Drips) on you instead, and it’s not a very pleasant experience.


They will wet your lips with cotton balls but they DEFINITELY WILL NOT allow you to eat soup or porridge within 24 hours of your operation, no matter how you whine, beg or even demand for it.

It’s much more worst if it’s an open chest operation. You’d lie down there like some dead body, motionless til all drugs were gone from your system. And if you think lying down is horrible, think again. When the drugs wears off, it’ll feel like a truck had just run over you and you’d be begging for more drugs instead.

Operation, especially open chest surgeries are very delicate. You’d be confined to your hospital ward for at least one or two weeks before you’ll be discharged. The nurse will prod you with needles while you’re asleep, and they would monitor your condition closely, and your progress would be charted every 3 hours. Charting is usually done by RN (resident nurse)… the taking of BP, temperature, etc etc and doctors will be called for consultation if they think there’s something that’s not right with you.

Discharging within 3-4 days after a major surgery is unheard of. I never encounter such cases before. I know of a man who had his heart bypass done, and he was hospitalized for more than one month for it. And he was even required to do physical therapy with his therapist. (Some people could not walk properly after a heart bypass…it’s related to the vein that they cut out from the leg or something).

I am quite… familiar with the procedures done in the hospital, especially if it involves the cardiovascular part. I get to experience it first hand. I truly wonder if there are any changes in that department these days, where you will be able to be conscious  within 3 hours of a major operation or you won’t be sedated within 12 hours of the operation. I wonder if they will allow you to eat after just a few hours after certain procedures is done and I wonder if you will be discharged without qualms as soon as you told your doctor in charge of your case that you’re fine.

As far as I’m concern…there’s still no such thing, and I am truly lucky that I don’t have to find out whether things in the hospital has been taken to a more painless level, as for what it’s worth…. it’s still done in the conventional way. The painful way.

Lately, a friend has been hospitalized and had some major surgery done. She was unconscious for a couple of times, and must be going through those things that I described above as she’s sick to her very core.

And I could do nothing but pray for her. 🙁 I just hope she will be all right and concentrate on getting well.Other things can wait. My prayers is with her, and  those who are fighting for their lives in the hospital.

My prayers is with you, and God bless you and your family.

Cleffairy: Sometimes, it’s all in the head. Fight it. The story that my father told me back then, ought to be told to all patients in the world. In many ways, brain is not only a weapon, but a very powerful kind of medicine.


  1. Caroline says:

    love this post. 🙂 learnt a lot. 🙁
    u’re right u know, think positve can make us feel better than before, but sometime im afraid of it as each time i tot im okay, come out worse. 🙁 thats y i rather just stop thinking about it.

  2. suituapui says:

    God works in mysterious ways. Sometimes, for some reason known only to Him and not to us, He may not answer our prayers…but we will just have to live our lives the best we can. Re. The Serenity Prayer.

    • Cleffairy says:

      Yes, true. 😀 I used to be very angry at Him, for making my life miserable. I didn’t see His ways. But i realized now, that He was showing me things, teaching me… and He loves me, in His own great way that is beyond what human can comprehend.

  3. fufu says:

    i can understand how you had been gone through all this while… i had hernia when i was studying in japan, away from family…fighting alone… and begging for injection… but anyway i am totally alright now…see i can travel here and there =p hohohoho yeah wish your friend will get well sooner 🙂 all the best

    • Cleffairy says:

      *sigh* But it turns out all right. 😀 So all is well at the end of the day. I am so glad you pulled thru, FuFu. it must have been really tough on you, being so far from home, and all alone.

  4. June says:

    Cleffairy, I have the same problem with u.. But mine was not that critical.. I have asthma, but it’s more to my lungs get inflammation on allergies. I have nose and throat allergies that make me very sick all the time. Often next morning.. I get tired easily coz I have difficult in breathing.

    As U told me.. Mind set.. until today I have the fear.. that I would get attack on my asthma. I try to be strong…the fear inside me that making me phobia all the time… until i stress out myself. Yah, After reading your post.. I think I can be relief and feel it better… I’m FEAR of my sick!!

    Lolz.. after reading.. I feel i’m more lucky.. I dont need to get operated… open my cheest… @@ feel even more scary…. Thanks cleffairy.. u’re article it’s motivating me a lot…

    • Cleffairy says:

      Asthma… lol.. will always be associated with sinus problems. i had those too, but thank God I outgrew asthma… I don’t think I can stand wheezing around and having allergies towards furry friends like cats and dogs. I love my cat a lot.

      Don’t… don’t stress out, June. It’s best if you think positive most of the time, because stress would narrow down the blood veins and disrupt the blood circulation throughout our body, and that, my dear, would gives us breathing difficulties.

      Sometimes, it’s all in the head. By thinkling negatively, we’re unconsciously telling our brain to tell our body to be sick. This is why people say, be careful of what you wish for, as you might get it. The sayings are true, you know. 🙁

      I had an open chest surgery when i was 13. Coma for 3 days, and my family were prepared for my funeral much more than to prepare for me to wake up. But I pulled through. I was alive. It was a miracle that God bestowed upon me, and since then, I understood that He has a plan for me. Big plans, and I have to live to discover what it is. 😀

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