Of single mothers…

While others are busy paying tribute to their mothers and buying gifts for the maternal figure who nurtured and raised them, I’d like to pay tribute not to my own mother, or even my mother in law, but those superheroes who are brave enough to be single mothers.

Yes, people. I am wishing single mothers a Happy Mother’s Day. I think, in some ways, they deserve to be celebrated more than mothers who acquired help from their husband or relatives throughout their entire motherhood. Well, you see…I may be wrong in saying this, but frankly speaking, I think it’s more challenging to be a single mother than just to be a mother. Anyway, single mothers are mothers just the same. They should be given the honour and celebrated just like any other mothers all around the world.

In Malaysian society single mothers are generally viewed as helpless or incapable of raising her children, but I give them all my respect to them. It’s not easy to be a single mother, especially when the society with damn fucking stupid mindset are looking down on them wherever they go. In certain society in Malaysia, single mothers are shunned instead of being supported. Malaysia is still a caveman country… well, maybe caveman is not a correct word, but what else could you describe chauvinistic in a mild way? This is the land where what men says becomes rules and law. I just don’t get it sometimes. Just because a women choose not to have a dangling stick between her legs to pleasure her every now and then throughout her motherhood, doesn’t mean she’s not capable of raising her offspring.

Women are still oppressed and looked down on, and egoistic men are claiming that women could not raise a child without properly without a male figure . That sort of mindset have been planted in people’s mind, regardless of age and gender since heavens knows when. And this kind of chauvinistic poison has spread like a venom in the society, and there’s no absolute anti venom to cure the mind of the society from it.

Some are single mother by nature. While plenty others are single mothers by choice, and to me, both deserve the same kind of respect. They are mothers too.

When I was a young brat, I could not understand why some women are foolish enough to choose to be a single mother. Women who are made single mother by nature is something I could understand. Women could not stop death from claiming her husband. That, I understand. And women too could not stop a man from leaving her if the man wants to leave the family. Those kind of women are single mothers too, but not by choice. I was immature and naive then. I could not understand the reason why some women rather be a single mother than be together with her husband and raise their children together. I always thought that to raise a child, a set of parents is essential. Father, mother and children are the people that’s suppose to make up a unit of a happy family.

But as I grew up, I realized why some women choose to divorce her husband or be separated from him and took the pain to raise her children on her own. I mean, come on, why the hell do you need a bloody stupid husband to help you to take care of the brats when all he do is treat the home like a hotel? Women chooses divorce over marriage for a lot of valid reason. Infidelities, betrayal, lies, lack of financial support and many other blah blahs.

Who needs that kind of men anyway? They are not only a pain in the ass, but in many places too. Some men are violent and abuse their wife and children physically and mentally. They are no help in parenting at all. Sometimes, with or without the presence of the man in question, the wife’s life is just like a single mother…not having any help or support from her husband when it comes to parenting and nurturing children. So…why bother being with them at all when you can raise the kids and provide for them very well without those assholes with hanging stick between their legs? It’s better to kick them out of the house than tolerating them as all they can give is goddamn stress.

What I’m saying here is…while I am all for fathers playing their role in their children’s upbringing, I will not condemn those women who chooses to get out of a bad marriage and raise her children on her own. It takes more than courage to do so. And I respect that. So, for those single mothers out there, no matter you’re a single mother by nature or by choice, I salute and respect you. You deserve the recognition more than those who are just normal mothers. Happy Mothers Day to you who are brave enough to raise your children on your own. You are indeed a superhero.

Cleffairy: Men says women are crazy. But it’s men who drives women crazy in the first place. Some men are simply impossible! Getting some of them to be responsible for their action or involve in parenting could be as impossible as turning a charcoal into gold, and they’ll make excuse and countless escape route just to avoid from being responsible and do the right thing.Who could tolerate constant nonsense from these kind of men, anyway?


  1. mcky1224 says:

    Good piece of writing! Happy Mother’s Day to single mother globally! Their contribution towards their family will be appreciated and paid off one day! Cheers!

  2. Tera Bok says:

    Nice! I think as long as both sexes learn to appreciate each other and not take things for granted, things wont be as chaotic.

    Women, they are the strongest being I’ve seen alive. Through the worst they prevailed and through the good they humbled.

    To all the deserving women, Happy Mother’s day!

  3. Bridge says:

    Cleff. First of all, Happy Mother’s Day to your mom! I haven’t personally greeted my mom yet but “will do” soon.

    About men getting involved in parenting – it’s not really that hard dear. You just have to find the right husband for it. However, as argued by Ho Tai in his book about gender in Vietnam, men are free-spirited. They’re always gone to wander around (look for job, assigned somewhere else for patriotic deeds, etc!) They never linger at home. That’s why in the family, the mother is the most important person in nurturing children. That’s a tough job. I have great respect for single mothers! Cheers to them!

  4. peteformation says:

    It is not easy bring up kids singlehandedly. I have a few friends who are single mother and they are also very successful in their career! All my respect to them. Happy mothers day to all the mothers in the world!

  5. suituapui says:

    It takes two to tango…but with one single blow, you slammed men log, stock and barrel. There are single parents – a single father or a single mother – by choice or by stroke of fate. Whatever it is, it is their lives and it is by no means easy bringing up a family alone – be it man or woman. In fact, in this day and age, it is by no means easy bringing up a family at all. Thumbs up to all in this same boat! Cheers!

    Do you, by any chance, have a family of your own, cleffairy?

  6. James says:

    no need to get married la mens..making troubles only..better go find pok pok when desperate..cheap only wad lol..right sis?xD happy mothers day to auntie

  7. Cheeyee says:

    A good one. 🙂

    My MIL is a single mom. Her husband passed away when hubby was 7 yrs old. I salute her raising up 2 kids all by herself. She’s a tough woman. Which make me think how lucky I am having both dad and mom around me all the time. I have a friend who is a single mom too. I don’t know what’s the reason but I salute her having the courage to raise the child by herself. It’s definitely not easy at all.

    Happy Mother’s Day to all the mothers in this world!

  8. jessimonster says:

    Its sad when people feel that single mothers are incompetent, but do not feel that men should have to take responsibility for their children. We get all the responsibility, all the blame when something goes wrong, and none of the praise when it goes right. In that respect, being a single mother is harder. In others, I think it all evens out.
    Thanks for your Mother’s Day wishes!

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