Til death do us apart?

Two of my favourite blogging buddies today talks about relationship. Or rather sex and marriage. Calvin talks about marriage. Pete talks about some sex potion that can make you as ‘strong as Superman’. Both gave me good laugh and good insight.

I think I should join in the fun, but being a rather contrary person, I’ll delve into a more depressing topic. I’ll talk about relationship, yes, but be forewarned, I think mine will not be as funny or as pleasant as Pete or Calvin’s.

All right, here goes nothing. I know this is pretty outdated, but I’ve watched the movie called ‘The Notebook’ adapted from a novel of the same name. I don’t want to give spoilers to the movie or the novel, but a certain issue that has been brought up by The Notebook sometimes makes me shudder.

I know a lot of hopeless romantics out there took vows that they will be together with their spouse til death do them apart, or for as long as they both shall live, but in modern world, marriage seems to be disposable. Divorce happens, separation and disagreements happens too. Let’s face it, marriage may not be made of porcelains, but they are breakable if one do not make an effort to make a marriage work. Sometimes, not even children could keep marriage intact.

However, The Notebook did not bring up the issues like divorce and seperation, and yet it still made my eyes misted and makes me ponder deeply. No shits, it made me broke into a sobby mess. The question that the story brought up is this: How far could you go on loving someone? Could you go on loving someone who forgets you, not by choice but by sickness? Would you go on loving and living with your husband or wife if he or she forgets about you and had no idea who you are? Would you really be with your spouse in sickness, or you decided that its too painful to go on loving someone who is invalid, aging, couldn’t take care of themselves and could not even remember who you are?

In The Notebook, the wife of the protagonist was aging and could not remember her husband or even her children. The children took an easy way out because they have their own life and refuse to go through the pain of taking care of their invalid mother. They sent their mother to the old folks home, and let her be.

The husband of this lady, however loves her too much to let go of her, and so, he admitted himself into the old folks home and patiently tries to gets his wife to remember him by reading to her the story of their love when they were young. When she did not manage to remember him despite of his persistence, he did not walk away the way his children did. His love for her transcended memories that they had together, and he builds a new relationship with her as her elderly companion in the old folks home. Miraculously, in the end, the wife remembers him, and they were found dead on the bed together, holding hands.

I wonder. I truly wonder if my husband would love me enough that his love would transcend time and memories that we had together when I’m old, invalid and senile? Would he love me enough? When I thought of this, I wondered too, if I will be strong enough to face the fact that my husband had no idea who I was during the golden age. God forbids, but what if such things happen? Will I be strong enough? I honestly can’t say, because I am not sure if I can handle the agony of loving someone who don’t even remember who I was and what we had together. I myself tried to explore this issue in my own novel in progress, and though I’m certain that I will go on loving my husband if it’s fated that he will be senile in his older years, but I am not sure how I could deal with the pain of it.

I suppose, the most trying part of marriage is not really during the younger years, but the older years. Though you have live happily together with your spouse during the younger years the situation that truly will try the vows that you made during your wedding day will be time time of old age and the time of sickness. Dementia, Parkinson disease, cancer, and many more will be the ones that will tempt you to turn away from your ‘For better or worst, in sickness or in health’ vows.

I pray to God, and whatever power that’s above me that if it’s fated one day my husband and I be put in the same situation as the characters in the Notebook, my husband and will be blessed with enough strength, patience and kindness to face our unfortunate predicament.

I too, pray for all of you couples out there that your relationship will transcend time and memories and your love for each other will be everlasting.

The Notebook is not really for the lighthearted, or a person with a dam for eyes, but it is a good movie and a good novel to read. Below is the trailer for The Notebook, if you guys are interested to know how the issue was depicted into a beautiful romance.

You can watch the full movie HERE

If anyone of you are interested in reading the novel, kindly drop me a line or two at [email protected], and i’ll send the novel in pdf. file to you.

Cleffairy: Til death do us apart, and for as long as we both shall live is serious matter. It will not be easy to achieve. It takes more than love and courage to live up to our wedding vows.

ps: I love my husband more than money, ice cream and sex. Will that be enough? Anyway, guys, on the lighter note, this is my 200th article entry. LOL. I may have cheated with some unoriginal entries that originates from my email, but then again, what the heck, i didn’t celebrate my 100th article posting, so I’m gonna celebrate this one over a cuppa tea. LMAO.



  1. Lisalicious says:

    Reading your synopsis sort of make me recall the movie..

    yes, the movie was very touching and got me into sobbing session for nearly an hour…

    i personally find that it is harder nowadays to find someone that practice what they’ve recites during the marriage vows…

    till death do us apart? hmm….if one has such illnesses… i seriously wonder how much will the other willing to take care of them…. havent seen any real life story for this scenarios at all

  2. calvin says:

    clef, it’s no point reciting marriage vows if one does not believe in what he/she is saying. i do this, i do that…bla bla bla. it’s more for people to see and its probably a “must do” thingy in christian marriages. a lot of stuff are easier said than done. we have to be in that position to answer. however, i do believe if one is bonded in marriage, blessed by the One above, it can endure any circumstances in every situation.

  3. kruel74 says:

    I watched it on Astro once becoz never really like mushy love story but I bet my wife would have cried a river if she saw it. Anyway, I really like to have that kind of love but knowing me, I dare say, it will be just pipe dreams

  4. BlurryLeo says:

    first, on the movie, it’s a strict no-no for me. i can’t tahan sob-sob movies. not my cuppa. if i were to watch this with my wife, she can fill up a few pails of tears anytime LOL.

    anyway, marriage is never an easy thing to begin with. and to make a lasting marriage, it’s even tougher. marriage life is full of ups and downs all the time. it takes both efforts to continuosly fail, learn, retry and make the marriage to work from day to day. even as parents now, we are still learning everyday to be husband and wife.

  5. eugene says:

    My take on relationship is pretty simple, i simply love to love, that’s all, no matter how old or how poor how rich i am, i just love to love,,

    love this post of yours

  6. cleffairy says:

    Lisa, we’re one hell of a sobby mess, aren’t we? This is not the only movie I cried… I cried when I watched A Walk to Remember too. *sigh* wth!

    Jo… lol, yeah, love makes everything possible.

    Calvin…. sometimes, divine intervention helps too. 😀 But you are right, love true love endures whatever turbulence that’s thrown in your way.

    Kruel, she’ll probably cry a river, but then again, it’ll make her think and wonder about both of you when you’re older too. Why are you so pessimistic about it, anyway? I’m sure your wife loves you a lot.

    BlurryLeo… wth hell is wrong with guys? Cannot tahan sob sob movie? Not macho enuff for it kah? LMAO….aiyo, be a man, go watch that kind of movie wif your wifey. Marriage is a neverending lesson that’s need to be learn by both parties.

    Eugene…love for the sake of loving? I like the idea of it.

  7. arc says:

    Ive never watched dat movie but from your synopsis, I presume it is a good 1.
    Btw sis cleff, I have something on my blog 4 u to be a little childish hehe
    check it out!

  8. fufu says:

    erm… well good topic! erm i am not sure whether i will love my wife as much as like what i love her 20yrs ago or what, but for sure i wont simply choose one to live the rest of my life together with, when you real love someone, you will thoroughly be got hooked until the day either one leave the planet first, yet the sweet memories still wont be forgotten =) all the best… my partner will be the most happiness + luckiest person ever on earth i guess…

  9. aronil says:

    A lovely thoughtful post clef. I didn’t really watch the whole movie, but it’s always on my to do list. I do recall the synopsis of it. And it was very touching. All girls and hopefully some guys do pray that whoever they are with would love them unconditionally. It’s so easy to say, “I love you” but in the end do we really know what it is to love.

  10. True Love says:

    Nice post..I think I have to watch it again ! Being in a bad marriage myself, what is till death do us part ? Not that I don’t believe, but I prefer to love truly and madly ! Enjoy everything while it is sweet ! Honestly if we can hold our hands and walk the park when we are old, it should be the most wonderful thing in life 🙂

  11. cleffairy says:

    Arc, i saw the game, but haven’t try yet.

    FuFu, I’m sure she’s one lucky lady to have your love.

    Amoker…wah… the wife so good ah? OMG

    Kevin… walao… so poor ka?

    , thank you for your kind words. And thank you for dropping by.

    True Love, maybe marriage disagree with some people. Do stay strong. Anyway, I’ll take your advice and savot what i have with my husband. 😀

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